My husband constantly use verbal abuse me towards.me He constantly call me dumb and stupid @** I ask him over and over again to please stop because it hurts. I had the heartfelt talk with him several time. He'll stop doing it for like a week then he starts doing it again. When we have disagreements and argument the name calling gets worst it goes from me being called stupid to dumb, ugly b!***. We get along really well until he get in these name calling moods. I just don't understand why he talks to me like that. I do everything for him. He told me the other day he only talk to me like that and no one else.
2006-11-21 08:33:54 · 34 answers · asked by Coco S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He might just be frustrated because you are illiterate. Either way, its not okay and you need to leave him.
2006-11-21 08:37:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Honey, I've been in a physically and verbally abusive relationship for sometime now and am just now coming up out of it. The only thing you can do is recognize that it will continue and either accept that you will feel hurt like this being with him or leave him alone. From my experience, that's where it starts, then it leads to other types of abuse. It's like the "Gateway Abuse." See, mines was backwards. He started beating me, then...when he stopped beating me with his fists, he started beating me down with words. It was very harsh. With your situation, he may stop bashing you with these hurtful words, but then, he'll need to find other ways to hurt you. He may start destroying materials in your home or more than likely, begin hitting you. He has an abusive mentality. And, don't just think about yourself, think about children you may have with him and pets too. If he abuses you this way, he will do the same to them. And, don't take that crap about "I only do it to you." That's an abusers way of making you take the blame and look at yourself like, "Why me?" What it will also do is start making you act the same way, then you both will be hurting eachother with words. Recognize that you are worth so much more than that. The sad part is, you've already let him know that it's okay to do this to you. That's why it will NEVER stop from this point on. He already knows that the most that will happen is an argument. Because of this, he won't change. And, don't go thinking that if he gets with someone else, his behavior will be more polite. He's going to do it to every woman he's with until that woman leaves him. Sorry to know you're going through this. Verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse 'cause those wounds never heal. They're only covered up and closed up inside until they start tearing you down. To sum this up, just remember that it's NOT you, okay!?! HE is the one with the problem. You are not causing him to act this way, he is CHOOSING to act this way. Much love :o)
2006-11-21 08:54:37 · answer #2 · answered by * 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not mention him hitting you but that is only the next step once he gets tired of the verbal most men that act like this start physically abusing the women there with. Please get out now go stay with a friend and file for divorce NO lady should let this behavior carry on. He does not care about you or your feelings for if he did he would not be treating you this way. The love is gone if it was even there to begin with. Time to leave the bastard
and find a man who treats you like a lady rather then a slave.
2006-11-21 08:51:34 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was once in an abusive relationship very similar to yours and it was also "only me" who got that kind of attention and no one else. You don't mention anything that he might do, for example, does he drink? Either way part of the reason that he does this is because he has to have some sense of control in his life and he has directed it as you because he feels that you are a) weaker than him and b) easily manipulated. Another thing that might be contributing is what kind of relationship, and I don't mean personal, do you have? For example, do you make more money or have a closer family or do you have more education than him? All those things might also contribute. My relationship was five and a half years long and I do speak from experience. One thing I can tell you is that it will not change unless he gets and wants help and talks to someone outside the relationship (like a coucilor).
2006-11-21 08:41:08 · answer #4 · answered by ambr95012 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should leave him as soon as posible. You deserve better than that and he does not deserve you. He continues to talk to you like that cause you don't do nothin. Tell him that if he doesn't stop treating you like this then your going to leave him because you don't deserve to be treated like that and then the next time he disrespects you like that again then pack up your stuff and go somewhere else and leave him to think about what an a** he has been tword you and let him think how stupid he was to loose you. He deserves it if you leave him I know that it will be hard, but you don't want to spend your whole life being put down by the guy that says he loves you or does he tell you that he loves you. If he does he doesn't really mean it because if he did he wouldn't treat you like that. He's an a** and you don't deserve to be treated like that and he doesn't deserve to have something so good in his life. Maybe he will learn his lesson now. Good Luck!
2006-11-21 08:45:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
instead of worrying WHY he does it, u have to realize that he Shouldn't do that. it doesn't matter WHY... who cares? he is wrong! and u asked him to stop! and he never talks to anyone else that way??
here's my thing: i think this is all about CONTROL. he feels he can treat u any which way because u are his "wife", his "possession". already that is a bad sign..
in the bible, it says "Women must obey husband" right? well guess what else it says: "Man must HONOR wife".
a woman cannot dutifully obey a husband who is not honorable... therefore, he is not doing his job. and so, if he thinks he's the husband and can do wahtever he wants, he's mistaken. u can be treated better, and u deserve to be. he needs to change, or you're GONE. let him know that.. if he becomes more abusive, or even physically, it gives u even more reason to leave!!! just know that when u try to work it out w/ him, it is thru YOUR MERCY that u are staying with him, not his. if he wont' change, or gets worse, that's HIS fault because he wouldn't work it out with you. u have to have that attitude: I am your WIFE. u have to treat me with Love, Honor and Respect in order for me to Love, Honor and Obey him. if he doesn't change, you have to find a husband that WILL.
good luck~
2006-11-21 08:43:31 · answer #6 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has an issue with women. Does he talk to his mother like that. My ex-husband demoralized me with his lashing as well "hence ex-husband" I could not take it anymore, it starts to wear on your self esteem and confidence of what kind of person you really are. If you love him and want to stay married try counseling if he refuses give him the ultimatum and if that does not work leave. No one needs to be treated that way or talked to that way. I now have a wonderful husband who I consider my best friend and he would never think of saying those hurtful things to me nor I to him. We do argue but it never gets that far. You should really think about that.
Good Luck to you
Michelle
2006-11-21 08:40:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok. He's a creep and will never change. He obviously is spoiled rotten and I truly believe that his verbal abuse will one day escalate into PHYSICAL abuse.
You need to get out now. If he wont seek anger management counselling, you will NEVER go back to him, you hear me?
NO man is worth your tears. Say that 10x, take a deep breath, clean out the bank account and call a divorce lawyer on your cell phone as you drive very far away.
2006-11-21 08:37:41 · answer #8 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We hurt the ones we love. Verbal abuse is actually worse than physical abuse (which is really bad)...because the words stay with you and chip away at yourself esteem.
Try couple therapy....that might help. He needs to "want to" change for this situation to get better. If he doesn't want to change then you really need to do some soul searching...do you want to stay and deal with this.
Life is too short and this isn't a trial run or dress rehearsal...this is the real thing.
2006-11-21 08:40:19 · answer #9 · answered by Pam 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stop acting like a "dumb a$$" and he will probably stop calling you one. I am sure its not all his fault. You probably bring out the worst in him at times. What are you doing to get him so worked up that he loses his temper?
2006-11-21 08:46:50 · answer #10 · answered by aubreytaegan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men are retarded, leave him if it doesnt stop, or just realize that its something he will always do, and let it roll off your back if everything else in the relationship is good, - It's when he get controlling that you need to be careful of- and then when he does throw out his verbal slurs throw it back at him, like well ok, If I am an uguly B-*** then why do you love me and why did you marry me- what's your problem? How uguly are you? Ya know?
Remember- Men do not change-
2006-11-21 08:38:37 · answer #11 · answered by shannon 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋