I recently found out that my husband signed up with a dirty website. I don't like that at all and I would like to know if it is considered cheating. I am disturbed over this especially with him lying about it.
2006-11-21 07:57:52 · 23 answers · asked by synlopez 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's a swingers website where he charged his credit card for a membership. This is a website where you can find local "friends."
2006-11-21 08:11:09 · update #1
my husband did this ....
maybe you need to see a therapist so you keep your wits about you. Therapy will help you figure out what direction you want your life going into.
2006-11-21 08:02:31 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't call it cheating but it is definitely an assault on your relationship. He apparently knew you did not like this type of thing since he "lied" about it.
The reality is that porn is hugely popular on the Internet and 90% of it is aimed at Hetero men. As a male it is very tempting to visit these sights. They are designed and marketed excellently to capture a mans attention and pull them in.
The question then becomes about you and your husband and your relationship. Is he frustrated? Is he just a "dirty old man"? or is this an occasional trip down fantasy lane for him, sort of like blowing off steam, which ALL sexually active men partake in from time to time, not saying it is right but it is fact.
If you love him and know he is at heart a good man, then letting something like this be the thing to drive a wedge between the two of you would be tragic.
If you love him, help him understand how it hurt you and work with him on ways to address urges that might cause him to want to visit a site like that.
Simply blowing up over the issue without handling it in a committed, mature way will help neither of you.
2006-11-21 08:14:06 · answer #2 · answered by shifty67 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that he views sites like that you need to worry about it's that he lie's about it that you need to address.
It makes me wonder why he feels the need to lie, is it that he feels guilty because he is doing something that he thinks is inappropriate, or that you make him feel the need to hide it because you don't allow him to be open with you.
My husband views sites like that and we talk about it, we don't keep secrets. We have been together over 25 yrs. and have always been open and truthful with each other about everything.
Viewing sites like that is not cheating, it only becomes cheating if they take it to the next level.
There are two ways to cheat, physically and emotionally, as long as he is only viewing it's only a fantasy, it's not cheating.
And a little piece of advise from a Happily Married Wife, don't make him feel the need to hide anything from you, keep an open mind and communicate openly with him. Marriage is hard enough you don't need to put up road blocks!
2006-11-21 08:09:18 · answer #3 · answered by unknown friend 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not consider it to be cheating but if my husband did it often I would get concerned! If he is fantasizing about other woman from the websites, that may be considered Emotional infidellity! If u believe in God, pray about it! Good luck at least u have a husband!
2006-11-21 08:02:47 · answer #4 · answered by Chrishanne 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's cheating, however, I do think it's disrespectful to you. You need to have a serious talk with him and how he should only be looking at you. If it's a dating website, that's a different story. If it's a dating website, than that's cheating and you need to see a marriage counselor, ASAP, if you wanna stay together.
2006-11-21 08:01:51 · answer #5 · answered by Gi Gi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn? No. Get over yourself deary...porn is necessary in society. He doesn't think less of you, he is just male. Get yourself some pics of hot guys and post them on your computer or something if you want to give him a piece of his own medicine. Fantasize yourself, it goes both ways deary.
Now, if it is a swingers website or a dating website...I might be more than a little concerned.
2006-11-21 08:01:40 · answer #6 · answered by Thera 9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume you mean a porno site ? No its not cheating its just gross and disgusting. I would be disturbed too but truth is this is the fate of most women. I would flip out that he is spending our money for some bs like that.
2006-11-21 08:06:34 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was just porn and dirty pictures, I would not be upset. But the fact that it is to seek other swinger "friends" means that he's looking.
2006-11-21 18:39:29 · answer #8 · answered by Ellie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not consider it cheating. But I think you have a right to say something to him and let him know you do not approve of it.
Did he lie about it or just not tell you about it? Big difference.
You guys need to sit down and have a talk.
2006-11-21 08:01:49 · answer #9 · answered by nomming 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only speak from personal experience. When I was married, and I say was, I did the same thing and I tried to hide it. It turns out that it was not the only thing I was hiding. I was also having affairs. Of course this ultimately ended my marriage.
2006-11-21 08:08:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋