Husbands that fantasize about wife with another man.?

Question

This started for me after my cousin who is 1 year older than me moved into an apartment we have behind our house. He and his wife got a divorce and he needed a place to stay. He has two kids that live with his ex. He has a job but is around all the time and has become almost like part of the family. Anyway we all get along very well and I started to think about my wife having sex with him. It turns me on. Not sure why. We are in our mid 30s. I told her of my fantasy while having sex and she said that it kind of turned her on too. We have talked about it several times. Each time I brought it up. She said that if I really wanted to she would put on a robe with nothing else on but I would have to walk her out to his apartment. The only stipulation she put on this was that she would not ask him to ware a condom. So we have developed this detailed fantasy and I believe she would if I tell her I am ready. I really do but I am also a little worried about how it would end. Opinion anyone?

Answer 1

My opinion: Keep it a fantasy. You will never know how it might turn out and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't turn out good at all.

Answer 2

I am for sure no prude & I believe that fantasy within a relationship to be brilliant & to have loads of scope for fun & having that or to be able to share that in a relationship is a wonderfull & perfect ideal.....

There.in lies the problem... the ideal....this world is no ideal and for good and for bad, we all live in a emotional mine field on a daily basis....and i strongly feel that getting over involved with fantasy makes it reality, & with that comes real issues....& not fantasy issues,and once it becomes tangible I believe that at some stage one or even both partners may start to have doubts insecurities and or real beliefs that the other partner is worse than themselfs in which or whatever it is they do....

& thats when the relationship cancer can set in....it is such a fine line that both partners need to be well ballanced,stronge, trusting and supportive of each other....we all believe we are all those, but when reality kick us hard....most of us aint all of the above at all, & this is just being relevant to the couple only(watch rourke & bassinger in there sexual fantasy classic 9&1/2 weeks)...

Now no matter how nice a person may,be it is highly unlikely that you will know and understand them totally, eg they turn around one day wantin, even demandin more, then your partner blames you as it cant be him
..
he's hetro sexual for example..hope you realise the pitfalls... in the mean time work on other fantasy for and with each other.

Answer 3

I understand

You have a fantasy to watch how your wife enjoys, and give her more excitement and fun!
Its good that you care about your wife's enjoyment so much, but even though it might sound too appealing now, your wife and you will regret it later.
Say, If they get closer than u expected, or if your cousin is too good at sex,or if your cousin begins to have feelings for your wife or something! worse, if he gets addicted to your wife and plans to rape her!! but the worst would be your wife getting addicted to him! So the risks are more, u better decide what u want to do as soon as possible
Some amount of jealousy and possesiveness is good and required in a relationship

Answer 4

Oh my God!!!! Why do men have these fantasies? My husband keeps on asking me about the same thing. But he wants me to pick the guy. But seriously, have you thought of it really???? It's your cousin for crying out loud who lives near your house.

If you do want to really do that with your wife, go get somebody from somewhere else that you are sure that you both will no longer be getting intouch with him after the whole thing. It would be safer on your end. Just be carefull of the consequences your relationship might be facing after.

You have to consider also the feelings of your wife. Another thing, please think also that the other guy might only think that your wife might just be another hole to screw. Well, I wouldnt be surprise also if you will start thinking about that with your wife. Be cautious with your actions!!

Answer 5

I think it's foolish to proceed without a condom because it's the best barrier not only against pregnancy but disease. Additionally, be sure to come up with some rules beforehand. Will it be a one time only thing? Is it a prerequisite that you be allowed to stay and watch? Is it OK if she has sex with him on days or at times when you're not around? Before you go forward, make sure you both understand what the rules are.

Answer 6

I be always had this fantasy since I was 19 , I'm 35 , at 29 year I married my first wife and found out before we married that she was open to it, she was into certain types of black men , and the thought of one with my wife turn me on so much , we had our first of many with him and we both loved it , no problems ,everything has to be right , must have strong relationship

Answer 7

I think that this would be a bad idea. While it is turn on right now, and tempting because it is "forbidden" or "naughty" the consequences afterwards could be devastating? How do you know what your feelings are going to be towards your wife after your "turn on" is over? Will you still respect her even after you actually witnessed her sleep with another man? How will she feel? Is she going to feel degraded afterwards? What if she starts having feelings for this other guy? The possibilites are endless. If you do decide to go through with this, be prepared for the worst to happen. Just my opinion.

Answer 8

Im not sure many commited relationships can withstand having anothe personget involved on an intimate level.Involving someone who is already known, and a part of your lives means that if things go badly, then well it'll be really bad.. Id say keep it a fantasy

Answer 9

Ahh the 30's are the new 20's. Dreams of sexual fantasies and new conquests run out of control. I had a friend who had this same thought with his wife. She agreed and needless to say we all got what we wanted. Now we aren't friends anymore and him and his wifeare seperated beause whenever he sees me all he can think about is how I pleasured her. I wouldn't succumb to this fantasy if you want to keep your wife and be happy. But if this persists your better off leeting her pick a guy that you won't have to be in much contact with afterwar

Answer 10

Dear Person Looking for Trouble:

Let's just say "if". If you wife had this liaison with your cousin. Two things would happen:

1. You would lose respect for your wife. You would ask yourself "how could she sleep with this other dude"?

2. If she really enjoys it, then buddy, you're out of the mix. She will have found better.

Either way, you're looking for trouble. Enjoy the fantasy, but if you act on it, it will really mess up your relationship with your wife.

TX Guy

Answer 11

in case you fee monogamy and this disturbs you, you may desire to make that a hundred% sparkling on your guy ... delusion or not, the smoke of the hearth is there and that could basically bring about a foul relationship going forward. everyday people have fantasies for specific, yet basically approximately issues that should be extreme-high quality to realize. Your husband's delusion ought to be damaging for you the two as for sure you do not share it. i'm specific there are people available who could relish the very advice yet you at the instant are not one in all them. you may desire to get his techniques in verify, I recommend, otherwise your concerns would be previous his so observed as fantasies ...