Marry me or it's over?

Question

Dating a guy for 6 months and having a really good time, enjoy his company; planning our vacation together for next year, then all of the sudden says he loves me and wants to get married and if I don't want the same it's over. Have not spoken for a few days. I like him and miss him, but is this crazy? Why not wait to see what happens since the relationship is so new. What was the right thing to do?

Answer 1

His behavior should be cause for concern on your part. Why is he giving you this ultimatum and why so early in your relationship? This may be a indication that he has a controlling personality which could spell big trouble for you later on (especially after you're married). You should take your time and REALLY get to know someone. Get past the honeymoon phase of the relationship, a relationship really matures after that period.
A relationship needs time to be able to deepen (marriage will not hasten that).

I would say, if he cannot wait and let things flow in a more natural manner then you two should go your separate ways. Don't rush into something you're not ready for and again closely examine his reasoning for such hasty behavior. Be very wary of someone who insists on marrying after only 6 months of dating.

Answer 2

Sound he want to control you, a dictator, never say yes to an ultimatum.You don't even know him that well, be very careful and use birth control, and if you love him take your time before you do a big step, as the people who give ultimatum in love are also possessive and jealous too, and aggressive, I don't want to scare you but its true some of them are so, I don't know your boyfriend and your ages.Concentrate in yourself, you can try and go and live together and in few months you'll see how its going to be your relationship.
Been there and walked away even left the country as was getting so mad.(We both was 22 than).I could not have boy Friends even certain girl Friends.These people who gives ultimatum want to control and command your life, its that what you want no freedom?I don't thing so.I don't agree with any kind of ultimatum!
Good luck!

Answer 3

Tell him what you said here...our relationship is still so new and I think we should continue to be together and learn more about each other for now. An ultimatum like that is a little crazy. If he loves you now, then waiting shouldn't change anything except for the fact that you'll have more time to get to know each other before you make a lifetime commitment. Marriage isn't something to rush into, that's whty there's such a high divorce rate. People don't really take the time to discuss the future, their goals, their views on children, budgeting, etc. It is an important decision and shouldn't be made out of force.

Answer 4

Rushing into things is never a good idea. Alot of the times when we act by impulse, the consequences are more serious than we ever thought they could be.
If you really like him try talking to him and explain to him how you feel. Make sure he understands that you do enjoy spending time with him and miss his company but you would like to take things slow if he loves you like he says he does he'll have to wait till you are on the same page he is. If he doesn't understand how you feel your best bet is to let it go, would like to marry someone who's ideal relationship is "My way or the highway?"

Answer 5

Well I guess it depends on how old you are? I got married when I was 30 (dated my hubby for 2 1/2years) and if he wasn't going to "sh**t or get off the pot" soon I was dumping him. He beat to me the punch, I never had to have that "talk". However, you two have only been dating for 6 months, so that is unheard of? Unless he told you upfront in the beginning of the relationship that he was looking for someone to marry right away. There is just a lot of variables here?

Answer 6

I had a similar issue I had been dating this guy on and off for over a year I loved him so much was crazy over him.he had friends that would always try to get him to go out with them,and he would because he said "he was never getting married" so we split up and I met some one else he found out started coming back around,I figured it was one of the I don't want you but don't want no one else to have you deals,so I told him Either you marry me or leave me alone for ever.thinking he would leave.Wrong we were married 4 months later,had a child 2 years later and we were truly in love,unfortunately,he was stricken with Cancer and passed away 6 months before our
6 year anniversary.

Answer 7

Dont do it!!! First of all how is he going to give you an ultimatum and you havent even been together a year yet? He is too demanding and kind of childish since you havent talked in a couple of days. If he acts like this now imagine 1 year done the line. Girl, dont do it. The relationship is still fresh and you still have time to walk and not get you feelings too hurt from the situation. Keep it moving. Good Luck.

Answer 8

If he feels your going to be together forever then why does it have to be now or never. The relationship is still new and so many things could happen. If you really want to be with him then tell him that you'll marry him but you want to be engaged for a year first. A year and half should give you a pretty good idea if hes someone you want to spend the rest of you life with or not. Good luck and God bless

Answer 9

depends on how you look at it. obviously you aren't on the same level. which means you don't feel the same about him as he does about you. this has nothing to do with control. he has a goal in mind. (or had) and that was to marry you. and since you don't want the same....he needs to move on and cut to the chase. i wish women thought like that and stop waiting around for a man that doesn't want the same as she does. My husband made it very plain and clear to me that he wanted to marry me within months of being bf/gf. but i wanted the same. so there was no need for an ultimatium. and you said you liked him. not that you loved him. let this guy go find a woman that wants him just as much as he wants her.

Answer 10

An ultimatum like this after 6 months is ridiculous. It's nice that he wants to get married eventually, but it doesn't have to be an "all or nothing" proposition, especially after such a short time. This guy sounds compulsive and controlling to me. He will not make an understanding and reliable partner. Keep looking, and good luck!