Me and my husband is living together for 7 years without any kid and he is faithful to me by that time then. I was offered a job and work in another country, was husbandt was left and I heard from friends and relatives that he has an affair.
When I went home over the summer, I tried to confront him and he said that it is just a fling and its over. Now me and my husband left our country and move to a new place where work awaits me...
I discover one time that he sent e-mail to the woman, telling her how much he love her... I notice too that there are anonymous call and later found out that he sent money to the woman. When I tried to confront him this time, he told me that he was sending money as an obligation because the woman is pregnant and she pitied the woman because she has no job...
Tell me what to do? Should I leave me husband? He is asking for another chance? Do you think he is worth it?
CONFUSED
2006-11-21 06:30:58 · 9 answers · asked by Rain 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No one can really answer that question for you, but you. Do you feel that he's worth it? Is your love for him strong enough to withstand the situation at hand? Do you feel that he's being sincere? So the choice is yours!!! What are you willing to deal with?
2006-11-21 06:36:28 · answer #1 · answered by wright_shalonda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe give him one more chance. How desperate is he? How sorry is he? But don't let yourself be destroyed over it. Get help from someone who you can really trust. If that child is his he should be responsible, he has been a rat but if he is truly sorry and willing to get outside help with your marriage, it may still work. Having jobs where you have to live apart is no help to a marriage. Pray about it. Hope you find the best solution to a tough problem.
2006-11-21 14:56:22 · answer #2 · answered by Ma C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, sweetie. There you are working hard for your family and he is off playing and pretending to be a 5 year old with no impulse control. He has no loyalty. Look at what you are doing for him. This is how he repays your kindness and generosity. You even forgave him. Now you find out that he is taking household money and giving it to the woman he betrayed you with. The horror! How much lower can he sink?
Now the witch is pregnant. I call her a witch because I am sure she knows he is married.
Her being pregnant means child support for you if it is baby. That means your money is going to go to the women he betrayed you with and their innocent child. That child belonged to you! He gave her what should have been yours…if the baby is his.
Honey, he wrote to her telling her how much he loves her. He is not leaving you because you are a good provider and she, who has no job, is not. If your money was not around to support him, would he stay? Would he love you enough to stay if you got fired today and had no money to support the both of you? Would he love you enough to stay if he had to get the job and you got to stay at home?
Sweetie, you are worth and deserve more than a guy who cheats on you, then writes love letters to someone else (when was the last time he wrote you a love letter) and then is not smart enough to wear a condom, does not care enough about your safety to protect you from a sexually transmitted disease.
I hate to say this, but you are throwing your pearls at a swine who could never really appreciate it. I know what he did really hurt you. I bet you still can’t get your mind to bend around the crap that he did and is doing.
If he were really sorry about what he did, then he would not have written to her or sent her money that belongs to the household. I am not saying you should divorce him, I am saying that you should step away for a while to clear your head. Let him fend for himself for a while. He will tell you what you want to hear but do what he wants to do behind your back. He will be there thinking about her and wishing he could be with her while he is with you.
If you want to work it out, then I strongly suggest that you go to www.marrigebuilders.com and click on the link that reads how to get over infidelity in a marriage. It will take you step by step, showing you how to get over infidelity. It will tell him what he needs to do.
Don’t let him make you feel guilty for his actions. Don’t let him tell you that he was lonely and make you feel like it is your fault. You were lonely too and stayed faithful. Don’t let him tell you that it is easier for you to be faithful because you are a woman. That is not true. He must also allow you to vent your pain for as long as you need to. It might take one month, one year or three years for you to get over it. He needs to give you that. He made the bed, now he needs to lie in it. He was the one to let off an atomic bomb in your marriage and your heart. Now he needs to do the work to clean up the mess.
Don’t let him get away with just half stepping in the make up department. You need to know how he plans to make things up to you. You need to make him give you definitive reasons for you to stay. You deserve it. You are an unselfish, hard working woman with a lot to give. You deserve the same kind of mate. I wish you the best and God bless.
2006-11-21 15:24:30 · answer #3 · answered by ME 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it was just a fling then why the i love yous and why is he sending emails and money. I'd get rid of his cheating *** before he brings you both down
2006-11-21 14:52:03 · answer #4 · answered by kittykat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. You'll end up paying for his illigitamate child!!
He may love her, he may not, but why care.............get his butt out of your life!! You deserve so much better!!
2006-11-21 14:43:01 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get a divorce your marriage is over and i think you already knew that. goo luck to you.
2006-11-21 14:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by becca_2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave him he just had a kid with another women. you are making the money. leave leave leave leave leave leave leave leave leave .
2006-11-21 14:37:39 · answer #7 · answered by question man 911 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Damn no wonder why you're confused... it's so frustrating just reading your da.m.n question. Geez your english is bad.
2006-11-21 14:39:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
hmmmm sweety please learn a lil more grammer next time
2006-11-21 14:36:25 · answer #9 · answered by can u ♥ moi? 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋