My sisters little boy is gay.. what to do!?

Question

He is only 5 but he is obsessed with girl stuff.
He like barbies, playing dress-up and putting on
make-up. He says he wants to be a girl.. he wants
long flowing hair...

should I just let him be? I should I make him "act
like a boy" ?

My sister doesn't know what to do.. and neither do
I.

I am watching him again today.. should I just let him
be as girly as he wants?

what do you think?

(p.s. I am not against Gays in anyway... I am just
wondering what to do about this kid!!)

Answer 1

I would gently encourage less girly things, just to make it easier for the kid to get along in society, but you can't change what he likes. Certainly make sure he knows he is loved regardless of his interests and be prepared to have his back when he "comes out". At this point, however, it would be good to discourage being quite so girly and suggest less girly clothes and toys, just for the sake of the kid not getting lynched in 2nd grade.

Answer 2

I don't think "making him act like a boy" is a good idea, no matter if it's a fase or if it's his actual sexual orientation.
My guess would be it's an infantile obsession, it's just kind of embarassing for parents that it happend with dolls. I wanted to be a garbage man at his age.
I do think however that the best thing for him is that you (his mom, really) consult a Sexologist about it. Ask him a few questions. He'll calm her down which will be very good for the kid. And this sort of thing needs an expert opinion, i believe. You'll be surprised by the simpleness of the thing, i'm `pretty sure

Answer 3

At five its very hard to tell. He may "grow out of it". But he may be trans-gender. (born into the wrong body) And that does not make him gay, it makes him a girl in a boys body. I just read a book that was amazing called Luna. Its about a boy who always knew he wasn't right, that he should have been a girl and how he copes with it. There are also tons of movies and self-help books on the subject.

There is not way of knowing for sure, but I say leave the boy be and let him discover things on his own. Though if there is any danger please do step in. Kids can be cruel and I don't want to hear about this child being beaten up for crossing the wrong path.

Just love and accept him for who and what he is. Encourage him to grow and learn. Do not push him in either direction because if you do tell him that its wrong to play with girl toys or dress up, he will hide it from you and your sister. Please be careful. This is a fragile situation. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

First off being that he is five years old that doesn't mean a thing. Children that age are not interested in any way shape or form of sexual orientation. My daughter is five and fixated with bugs! Does that mean she is a Lesibian "NO" it is what interests them. Further more is he and only child! Is your sister married or a single mother. It all depends on his enviroment, what is around him, if it is all girls!
Then obviously he is influenced by his enviroment, also being that he plays with dolls shows that he is very nuturing which there is nothing wrong with that. For you to pressure him into playing with toys that do not interest him or into boy things is going to make him feel ashamed and as if he is doing something wrong. Predjudice is a mean and ugly trait and doing this will eventually teach him that. Let him live through is childhood doing the things that he is enjoying. Don't let negative evil influences rot his mind! He is fine, and so if he later chooses to be straight or gay in the future is that going to make you love him any less! I am straight but I don't judge people for who they are. But, two many people are extremely critical of others without knowing or understanding them first.

Answer 5

This does NOT mean he is gay. He is too young to even understand! My little sister used to say all the time that she wanted to be a boy when she grew up...wanted her hair short. That was when she was 5 and 6 years old and now she's 10 and couldn't get any more girly! So, YES, let him be. Don't pressure him in any way. Even if he does turn out to be gay...this would be the healthiest thing for him.

Answer 6

You should let him be, that's his personality, the only thing I would worry about is other kids teasing him about being a feminine gay male.

I was told not to do this or that, play with boys, not girls when I was little, I tried to change on my own but I'm still gay. Took me awhile to come out because I remember those moments when my family would try to correct my behavior which made me feel like there was something wrong with me.

Answer 7

This really can't be as upsetting as you may think, can it be ?

Children learn to express themself and usually do, without the interference by parents or guardians. They don't know the difference whether one should wear a hard hat, or a string of pearls. I'm certain when you were young, you were curious, perhaps you didn't act on some of your curiosities.

Your nephew will be just fine. Should he later in his life be gay, well 'sister-act' - it clearly won't be your problem then, so honestly why make it your problem now?

We all are fascinated by various things. Women no longer wear dresses, but wear pants - does this make them lesbians or wanna-be-men? Think of it, is this not starting to sound a bit ridiculous? I thought so.

Cheers,

bga

Answer 8

He's 5? Oh, get a grip! Many, many boys "act out" femine role when they are younger, and girl act out masculine! Don't get excited and panicky and don't let your sister get that way either! Is he very attached to his mom? Offer support, show him that girls do more than play with dolls and dress up, get him to try non-gender-specific activities...chances are he will change as he goes to school and has more contact with other children of both sexes. If he is still acting this way after puberty (10-13) then you start discussing his behavior with him. Accept the kid for what he is...a young being trying to see what fits him most naturally in the way of behavior.

Answer 9

Forget it! He is only 5! He is way too far from the understanding of sex. NO, He is NOT a gay. It is in his fantasy. She probably likes girls so much or feels attracted on everything about girls! (it is exactly the 'opposite' of what you are thinking).
In my childhood, I liked so much everything about girls. The way they dress, the way they play. In fact my first friend was a 'cute girl' , at the age 4! In my younger days, I had only girl friends. The first boy friend I had at the age 10 probably.
I had just the 'opposite' effect in my life. You do not want to know, all about it. (Have you see the movie 'Lover boy'?)
One day, 12-15 years from now, you will laugh that you were worried for something which turned just about 'opposite'.

Answer 10

Lady....he's five! For all intensive purposes he has no sexuality, he just likes dolls, if he's having fun then let him be. If you don't care about homosexuality then you have even more reason to just let him be.

You'll probably know his sexuality in a decade or so, just be patient and leave him to play with his dolls and make up till then. Then be there to support him whether he chooses to be straight, gay, bi, trans, or whatever. Trying to force a sexuality on him now could be severely psychologically damaging.

Answer 11

Letting someone express themselves in a way that doesn't harm someone, *should not be hindered.* *Self expression is very important.* If the child has expressed a desire to be a girl, they're likely transsexual, not a gay guy. You'll probably want to get the child to a therapist that specializes in gender/sexuality issues. PFLAG has links on their site for therapists for transgender people in most states and some other modern countries. If it is determined that the child is in fact a transsexual and truly wishes to spend the rest of their life female, it is very important to support the child and allow them to grow up female.
Basically, get the child a therapist that specializes in this area to determine what is in the child's best interest. Self expression is very important to people. Oh, and educate yourself on the area.