I seem to lose friends faster then I can make them. I'm nice, but don't let myself be used. I think it might be because I hold them up to high standards, but then I also thought that me giving up on them is just as bad as whatever they did to me. How far is to far, explain in detail. Do you think they would they ever give up on you, what for?
2006-11-21 06:21:35 · 16 answers · asked by Nick T 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
well apparently you just need to find people who have the same interests (and standards) that you do...if someone screws you over then thats not your fault and they should realise that 'whatever they did to you' is messed up and apologize or risk losing a friend....and for the future, friends come and go so dont take it so personally
2006-11-21 06:33:10 · answer #1 · answered by etherialdowntime024 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would like to know the same thing. I don't even want or need many friends but one or two good friends would be ideal.
I think the most important factors of friendship are honesty and trust. Loyalty is important also. Lies will destroy a friendship that's for sure because it means someone was not trusting enough to be honest.
I went to far with a friend I had. I cannot explain in detail what happened but I can say that he felt it was OK to tell me lies or to not be honest with me yet expected me to feel secure in the emptiness of such a situation. The whole thing escalated into anger and fighting. We have hurt each other many times over and now there is no solid foundation to hold the friendship together.
Yes, I feel my friend has given up because it became a vicious cycle between us. There seems to be a double standard also. I am supposed to drown all my feelings and totally focus on his, when he chooses to express them. Do not ask questions because that is interrogating. Now I am giving up. I love my friend and will never understand why everything he did was OK and why everything i did was not OK.
2006-11-21 14:47:17 · answer #2 · answered by Cymbaline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you be a friend to someone without being useful and thus "used?" That's impossible. The idea is that the person you are giving your friendship to also is useful to you.
If you feel "used" or taken advantage of when you help a friend out, then you may need to change your attitude about giving of yourself. (If we were all meant to just look out for ourselves, we probably wouldn't all be on this earth together.)
It sounds like you have your guard up so much that you are literally not letting any one in and have become so inward that you are not helping others with a willing mind. Relax, give of yourself, and if they don't give back, who cares? You would be the good person for not expecting your favor returned anyway.
On the other hand, if you are constantly giving of yourself, and the other merely takes you for granted and is truly using you, then it is not healthy for you or them to continue being friends.
2006-11-21 14:32:38 · answer #3 · answered by zosoo7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good friend doesn't desert their friends when they really need help, just because they don't feel like helping. Of course you have to make sure you're not being used and that you're also getting something out of the relationship. Are you ditching people the second they need anything from you?
2006-11-21 14:24:32 · answer #4 · answered by heehaw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A WISE individual told me in order to have friend you must first be a friend. If you truly hold yourself to high standards then you will attract friends who 1st hold themselves in the same high standards or 2nd see something in you that they positively want to emulate. The negative side is that they are your enemy.. crabs in a barrel will do anything to pull you down!!!
2006-11-21 14:28:56 · answer #5 · answered by topmodel_dork's sister 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
true friends are for life, they are there for you for the good and bad.You share sorrow, pain and happiness with them.
You have trust honesty, and respect for each other. You can always rely on each other. Even best friends have tiffs, tho you just have to hang in there let them know you are there for them when they need you. I have friends that i barley see for yesrs due to distance, tho when we talk we are as close as ever, we are there for each other thru birth, death, illness nothing comes between us. If your open an honest with each other don't stab each other in back you will have lasting friendship...
2006-11-21 14:35:41 · answer #6 · answered by a mother 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
care for them, be there when they in need. be supportive at all times. but just like u said when u too nice to them they kind of take advantage of you. just do what u can do if u want to go the extra mile for one of them do it if it Worth's it otherwise just be aware and choose wisely
2006-11-21 14:30:08 · answer #7 · answered by ivelisse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a good friend is always there for you NO MATTER WHAT. If they are gone then they were never there.... I wouldn't let ppl use me either...but sometimes friends use you...to be honest with you...so you get to use them back.... If you wanna look at it like that. :)
2006-11-21 14:25:29 · answer #8 · answered by RobbinATL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means you are not her type... or this: a good friend will not raise after first rain... it will take many years to accomplish that. So they are youre friend now. That is all!
2006-11-21 14:25:15 · answer #9 · answered by Jerdy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be there for them and be loyal to them if they still don't want to be ur friend then that is their problem. also find people with the same interests as you so that you have more to talk about w/ them
2006-11-21 14:31:03 · answer #10 · answered by lalalalalalalalala23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋