I have a family member who is extremely negative. I would not associate with her if I didnt have to, but I do. She is a know it all, passive agressive, rude person. She is also a hypochondriac, and always has a new ailment or mystery disease to complain about. I have to see her in order to see another family member that I love dearly. He is miserable with her, as she controlls his entire life, but I know he will never leave her. He is too afraid to be alone. How do I tolerate & respond to someone so toxic....We have to eat Thanksgiving dinner there on Thursday.
2006-11-21 05:50:25 · 10 answers · asked by Cris Tee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds like being around the relative you love dearly means you will have to be around his negative partner. Remember, it is his choice to stay with her, and if you can respect his choice, you will learn to deal with Ms. Negative. That doesn't mean you have to tolerate her negativity! Try to find ways to visit with your loved one without her presence. If she is around, be very nice to her and say Thank You often. Who knows; you might make a positive difference in her attitude!
2006-11-21 06:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man, I have a very similar problem. Mines a little different because my family members are nice to my face, but I have perceived that they gossip quite a bit behind my back. It's very frustrating. Once I decided (after a particular incident) that I would no longer bother with any of them, except at holidays. After a few months, I really started to feel better and stopped being angry over it. Unfortunately, after the holidays (Easter) they wormed their way back in to my life and the aggravation has begun again. The worst part is that I enjoy their company when we are together, and then later i can usually piece together the gossip and I get hurt,frustrated, and annoyed for days or even weeks. I guess the moral of the story is that a lot of people have problems with their family so at least you're not alone.
2016-05-22 08:09:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough situation. You have two choices that I can think of off the top of my head. 1. Ignore her - which will work is she is also narcissistic and only give her attention when she behaves properly. or 2. Call her to the side and have a little talk about how her behavior makes you feel. Exaggerate it if you have to and shame her into better behavior.
If all else fails you might just have to suffer through the weekend by simply leaving the room when she enters. Everyone wants to be wanted and even she will feel bad about her behavior if she knows that others don't want to be near her.
2006-11-21 06:00:43 · answer #3 · answered by Vicki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with my brother and my mom. As a result we don't get along well because we have our own differences of how we are and how we want things to be. When they don't get their way they pitch a fit. But when something doesn't go my way I let it slide. Whenever my mom/brother point out the problems going around them, it's more about who THEY are as a person, it's not about you so don't take it personally if they take it out on you, they are only hurting THEMSELVES for bringing their own negativity into their own lives. It's not hurting you. They have their own problems and they MAKE it their problem.
If you're ever around these people (Like i am), just be nice to them and don't say much. Or you don't have to say anything at all. Just nod your head if that's comfortable for you.
2016-09-03 14:27:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only way to get along with these type of folks is to agree with them whether u do or not.
But , if the person is rude, say it out loud, say, please dont be so rude and clothe your words with kindness.
Sounds like she wants your attention and is jealous that u giving
the other party all the attention.
Its a tug of war in them circumstances.
2006-11-21 05:55:49 · answer #5 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go eat her food, ignore her, and make sure that you tell him how much he means to you.And be sure to thank her for the invitation.Do all the kindness in front of him.The Bible says that kindness towards your enemy is like putting coals on their head.Give it a try.Happy Thanksgiving......
2006-11-21 06:05:04 · answer #6 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest this. After you are with her at Thanksgiving, and she makes a negative comment to you, or whoever, tell her "I think it would be fun today that every time someone says something negative about someone, that they have to say 2 positive things about that person" Then every time she says something negative, tell her..."oh, now you have to say something positive!" even is she says something negative about the ...turkey or potatoes, tell her to say something positive about another food item. My ex husband used to be a debbie downer and I started doing this with him. He actually didn't even realize how negative he was until he started having to say positive things!
2006-11-21 05:57:50 · answer #7 · answered by Corona 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are related to Debbie Downer!
Change the subject constantly and don't allow her to manipulate the conversation. Talk with the people you want to and if you don't like something she says, I'd simply give her no response whatsoever.
2006-11-21 05:55:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be nice to her,for the other loved ones sake. Just put a smile on and act like you like her... you might see a different side to her.
2006-11-21 05:57:08 · answer #9 · answered by katier16101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋