how do I tell the jugde why my x shouldnt have custody of our mentally hadicapped 11 yr old?

Question

My x and I have been aprt for over 8 years now and hes made those 8 yrs a living hell for both my son and me. He would always show up for a month or two then disappear for about 6 mo to a year and then show back up again. Our son has been diagnosed with ADHD, Aspergers Syndrome, Hightened Anxiety disorder and now Bipolar disorder. I believe at least some of this to have been a direct issue from his constant diapointments when our son was only a toddler....waiting at the door for daddy to show up and he never did..those kinda things. Plus he would have girlfriends with older children that would hit and punch my son. Now hes taking me to court saying that Im and unfit mother, and that he doent believe there to be anything wrong with my son, (he says because he doesnt act that way with him) What can I do about this...please help!

Answer 1

It sounds as if your son has been diagnosed with these by a physician. You can get your son's medical records so that you have proof of his situation. The medical records will also show the medications your son is on and how often you take in in for treatment. You have all the facts on your side that support your case. As far as your ex-husband is concerned, it is not surprising that he does not believe that anything is wrong with your son. He is not around often enough to understand the situation and does not know how to recognize behavior disorders.

Answer 2

Take the Doctor reports to the judge and show what is wrong with him. It's is sad but the children will beat hm around and make fun of him. He doesn't need custody of that child handicapped like that needs the loving attention of their Mother. Why would he get the idea that your a unfit Mother any mother that takes care of a sick child is not unfit. If this child has a ADHD and been diagnosed by a doctor take all of that to the judge. He'll make him start taking care of you and your baby financially . What does he think he is a doctor, He must be the biggets creep in the world

Answer 3

Tell the Judge the truth, otherwise the Judge will figure out that you aren't telling the truth and your poor child will end up in custody with his father.

Your son may have a lot of disorders like you say, but even so a Judge may be moved by what a toddler has to say. Instead of telling your son what to say, while at court tell have your son go up and tell the Judge his point of the story. It may be hard to just trust your son to do something like that, but it may ultimately end up in your favor if he tells the Judge what you just said.

Plus the fact that your ex has been going with a lot of girls that would ultimately harm your son, if you have witnesses that can confirm that then you have this case won.

Answer 4

Have your son's doctor write a letter concerning his health. Present that letter when you go to court. Keep a record going of all phone calls and visit your ex makes to your son. Do your son a favor, don't tell him that daddy is coming. He won't get so disappointed when daddy doesn't show up. Just have a bag packed for him..........just in case. And, imagine the surprise for your child when daddy is at the door.

Answer 5

Kids sometimes do tend to act one way for one parent and another way from another. Because he doesn't receive the constant attention from dad, when he is around him he is probably on his best behavior as to not ruin his time with him.

As for the courts, do your best to show the fathers inconsistency. However, also as a father, if the ex is trying to be consistant in the childs life now, grant him more time with his son and let dad start proving his self. May help you and your son.

Answer 6

Take it in stride. More than likely he is just trying to get a rise out of you. If you are a good mother you have mothing to worry about. Consider the source Mr slide in and out of sons life, prob never been to a dr apt, school function, teacher conference, stayed up with him sick, fed or clothed him is now saying your a bad parent. Please. It takes a lot to find someone to be found unfit. However it is scary to be threatened by the loss of your child so if it makes you feel better seek legal council and see if he really means it. Good luck

Answer 7

Have your doctors type up notes for the jusdge and the judge will know you are not lying. Also, ask your son what he wants, don'ttreat him as though he is handicapped. Let him talk to the judge and let him tell the jusge what he wants. No man that turns his back on his family deserves custody, especially when the kids can count on you. It's probably good to hire an attorney now, don't wait for him to get one first.

Answer 8

By the sounds of it your son would be better off with you. Fight like hell for him. Take the doctors reports and test. Show the judge that it is not you that is unfit but him. By the sounds of it our sons has enough to deal with without dealing with a father that can't give him what he needs or give protect him.

Answer 9

Keep records of your exes behavior, comments, visitations, no-shows, etc. Ask to speak to the judge privately if possible. If not explain why in a brief manner he should not have custody. Most courts assign custody to the mother unless she is a drug addict, abusive, etc. and there are public records of it.

Answer 10

Have your attorney subpoena his medical records so the judge can look at them himself and make a rational decision. Don't worry, if he has been living with you this entire time the judge won't take your child from you, all you have to have is proof of his visitation, medical records, have a school counselor and teachers, friends subpoenaed for character references for you. I wish you the best.