Any ideas on how to cope with the emotional aspect of this situation?
2006-11-21 05:02:07 · 14 answers · asked by gotanswers 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am so sorry that you and your children have to deal with this man. I was married to a sociopath/narcissist man for 15 years. I thought I was going crazy. I've heard that the way to handle custody issues with a sociopath is to not let them know that they are upsetting you, they get some kind of thrill from hurting people who are wise to them. You've become a threat. Remember, to them, they are never wrong. They will never admit defeat. Know in your heart that a sociopath won't want to be tied down with the responsibilities of raising children. Their need for thrills is too strong and he will sabotage himself because they never learn from their mistakes. Try not to show how much he upsets you. There are a lot of resouses out there who can help you. Call the local mental health facility because you'll likely need support. I know that I've benefited from information about how they think; I have a hard time understanding it though. I've learned that I just have to accept the way they are and to keep my distance. They are their own worse enemy. A counselor would likely be helpful for you and your children. I wish you all they luck and lots of prayers. Be thankful that you saw who you were dealing with when you did!
2006-11-22 18:27:04 · answer #1 · answered by Kyra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your ex don't know is that he's getting off easy with only child support. Let him keep them through a holiday (more than a week), to give him an idea of what he's really missing, and he will be more than happy to let you keep them without an argument. While that's happening, you treat yourself to a relaxation period. Wish you luck!
2006-11-21 05:12:48 · answer #2 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man, I went through this years ago and the ex won for no good reason, other than his lawyer was better than mine and he had the big bucks to pay him and bring it before a Judge who was notorius for giving custody to fathers.
Get yourself a good lawyer, even if you have to borrow the money, and seek a quick resolution to the problem. Most custody battles drag out for lawyers to make money, so go with a major goal in mind. Good Luck !
2006-11-21 05:11:02 · answer #3 · answered by Big Bear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep a journal, that helps, see a counselor, some charge on a "sliding" scale. Doesn't mean he is necessarily a sociopath because of what he is doing, maybe he is just a big jerk and very selfish and hurtful.
2006-11-21 05:19:07 · answer #4 · answered by nanny4hap 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I mostly pray, and take a lot of deep breaths.
My ex is the same way, and now we have joint custody, he is supposed to pay when he has them and I when I have them. Unfortunately, he is "forgetful" and the daycare and school still call me for money.
So I pray for strength, and every now and then complain to a good friend.
2006-11-21 07:50:12 · answer #5 · answered by Julie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek out a good counselor and if you can't afford that seek out someone to talk with about things. Talking will help you to get things off your chest. Next stop talking with him unless absolutely necessary, i.e. kids sick, hurt, etc. The more he can't get to you, eventually he will back off some, but not all the way together ever, but you'll be happier as you will not be dealing with him as much.
2006-11-21 05:05:48 · answer #6 · answered by Elvira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is how my BF ex's is. The kids live with us and she doesn't give them anything. She only calls them and see's them once a week. Now she's pregnant with somebody's baby and she's try to get child support from my BF because she wants money to care for the child she's having now. She's a bi***
If I where you, you should be the one to try and get child support.
Its going to be stressful, but its worth it.
2006-11-21 05:31:00 · answer #7 · answered by blah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well has he had a psyhcological evaluation? If not then i would explain to my lawyer that he is a sociopath and needs one because you feel he does not need to be around your kids like that. As far as how to cope ? i guess you just have to deal with it and wait it out. good luck and god bless and happy thanksgiving.
2006-11-21 05:25:01 · answer #8 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't pay child support. My ex and I each have the kids half the time. She pays everything when they're with her, and I pay everything when they're with me.
That's the fairest thing to do for the kids and the parents, unless one or the other parent really doesn't want to be with their children.
2006-11-21 05:07:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would suggest moving far enough away that you would have as little contact as possible with him except for paying child support.
2006-11-21 05:11:11 · answer #10 · answered by <333 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋