Why does the gay community get upsed when a straight person is inquistive about there sexuality.?

Question

I have noticed that some persons in the gay community are sarcastic towards any question that I ask that is related to there sexualtity, culture etc. I have not asked any vulger or out of turn questions. I am just an inquisitive person, I am very open minded. I just like to have a better understanding of others cultures. I am not here to be mean; condesending etc. Someone please shed some light on this? Thanks!

I have noticed in some of my answers some are referring to me is being nosey or wondering why I ask? This is a Yahoo forum for questions and answers correct! Isnt' this the purpose! I apologize if you take my questions or wanting to know as offensive. Again, which I am repeating my self I am just curios. "Predjudice comes from ingnorance" "Ignorance comes from not being educated" Therefore my wanting to better understand another culture makes me not predjudice! To those who are answering me with open honest answers I thank you very much!

Answer 1

If your questions are truly unbiased and simply curious, then I don't see why you would get sarcastic responces, except for the fact that in this forum we've been attacked by bigots and trolls for so long that many have become jaded.

Just take a look at ed g's last question to this forum.
He stated in his reply that he's noticed responces to have been :"peppered" with sarcasm. To this I can only say, look at his last question. It was rife with hate speech and dirogitory commentary. Of course responces to his questions would illicite responces in kind. Calling the entire community "not normal" is insulting and untrue.
Using the rediculous argument of "if everyone was gay..." is hurtful, insulting and intentionally misleading. It was a loaded question that was obvious to anyone with a brain!

Now, as far as the questions you've posted, I see no dirogitory language, no "loading" of sentiment. I can't see why they would illicite sarcastic responces, unless the questions were surrounded by other rude questions by others. For that, I would apologize.
I have not found your questions to be insencitive at all. I did reply to your most recent question as best I could. About Neal Patrick Harris being gay, I replied: It's called "Safety in numbers."

If you took that as sarcasm, again, I apologize. It was a short responce, but in no way sarcastic. I didn't explain my answer, which I will do now.
I believe that when one actor/celebrity "comes out" it seems others follow suit out of the idea that there is "safety in numbers." When one has shown courage, others follow feeling that it's safer at that point.
I remember when k.d. Lange came out, so too did Martina Navertolova and eventually so did Melissa Etheridge.

It's still a very personal descission to 'come out' as a celebrity, risking their entire careers on it. But if one does then others follow so that no one of them suffers more than another.
With actors/performers, there's an unwritten code to never let your fellow performer go down in flames. To always support your fellow performer.
We're a tight community, us performers, we rely heavily on the support and encouragement of other fellow performers.
I learned this when I was a cast member of a local Renaissance Faire. We always joked that if one of us was getting married, then it was a faite acomplee' that you'd have a guest list of 300 of your closest friends and relatives attending.
This was so true! We all celebrated as one huge family, we all morned the passing of a fellow as one family, we all suffered if one of us suffered, we all came to aid a fellow if we were able.

This same sence of Community is also true among many in the GLBT community as well. (Granted, not as intence as in the performer community)

Answer 2

You as a stay at home mom, wield quite a bit of power. You are who marketing people target probably harder than anyone else, because you are home during the day. The government loves you. Support gay rights by teaching tolerance and acceptance to your children. Get involved with a local PFLAG group or even a equal rights group. Your voice and opinion are stronger than anyone else's, always remember that! Good for you for wanting to make a stand and make a difference. That support alone shows that you are a good person and that your kids have an excellent mom!

Answer 3

To be fair about this, I have found that there have been times I have posted legitimate questions in the Physics, Philosophy, Psychology and Religion & Spirituality categories that I have been challenged and met with derision. Let's face it, small minds are incapable of genuine thoughts and they can be found everywhere not just here. And even larger minds have lapses of reason or moments of weakness and/or vulnerablity. I confess I have not always been as considerate of the feelings of others as I might have been, sometimes out of neglect, at other times because I had a different focus of concentration. I am beginning to learn that the problem is mine. I must learn to have thicker skin or get out of the game. Problem is, the "game" seems to encompass all of life. Kind of makes it all the more incumbent upon me to grow that thicker skin, doesn't it?

Answer 4

For me, it's because when people ask me questions about my sexuality,

1) Why are you so curious about my sexuality especially if I don't bring it up to you? It would seem rude if someone were to come up to you and just ask you out of the blue details about your sex life, right?

2) For someone to ASK me those questions means that they've gotten some kind of vibe about me that correlates to some stereotype of the gay community. I'm not a stereotype, so sometimes that offends me.

3) I'm a transsexual, so I get a LOT of inquizzative questions, and most I answer maturely and seriously, but sometimes, people don't seem to realize how insensitive their questions are, or how just because someone is gay/lesbian/bi/trans that makes it ok to ask VERY personal questions that you wouldn't ask to any other group of people. For example, I don't know HOW many people have asked me "have you had THE surgery?" Do you often go around asking anyone ELSE what's in their pants or asking them to give you details about what it looks like? I've even had people ask to SEE what it LOOKS LIKE!! That in my opinion is BEYOND rude!!

3) Also many glbt people tend to get offended because sometimes we are attacked by facist christian fundamentalists, who only ask the question so that they can give a rebuttal and attack us. Meaning, they weren't genuinely interested in our response in the first place.

I'm glad you're an open minded person who genuinely wants to become educated. THOSE people I don't mind answering questions for, but as long as the question is logical and does not hold a negative context and the question is asked with some intelligence I don't mind answering questions.

Answer 5

sometimes inquisitive "feels" like the inquisition. we are constantly under attack in this forum and in the real world, so were easily put into defense mode. i have no problem with questions, just make sure they're worded in a way that they dont sound condescending or judgemental. unfortunately gays must be constantly "on gaurd" it keeps us safe, but can seem like a barrier to outsiders, we are after all a "family". plus honestly there are some bitches in here, just as in the straight world. lolololol. ok so ask away. what do you wanna know? lolololol peace.

Answer 6

When people ask open, unbiased questions, we respond in kind.

When people come in promoting a particular agenda, we also respond in kind. See "redRose's" normal answers for examples - the one above is a rare civil exception that does not preach hatred and bigotry.

Sorry if your question was of the first type and you got responses of the second type. Normally, the LGBT forum is one of the most polite and erudite rooms on Yahoo.

Answer 7

Years and years of ridicule and torment. It has become so hard to trust anyone.

In my experience, each time a 'straight' person asked me questions, of a sexual nature, it never turned out for their own information, but became 'twisted' to ensure a great laugh by others, when this person would repeat our conversation.

Trust became a real issue, so what I do now, each time I'm asked any kind of question pertaining sex - I simply say:

'You know, just that you asked such a question, I'm going to be nice and tell you, I really can't find any reason why I would want to know about your sexual encounters, which leads me to believe there shouldn't be any reason why you need to know about mine. Having said this, should you really want to know, well try it, and then you tell me 'your experience' and how it made you feel, and we can THEN compare notes.'

This usually puts the person asking into a mind-frame of doubt which has them asking themself, either 'Am I really being that nosey?' or 'Why am I really asking this question to begin with?'.

Thanks for poising your question.

bga

Answer 8

I'll have to check out your other questions.

added** OK, I checked them out. Not really offensive. But in response to the question where you asked something like... why when one famous person comes out of the closet do others follow.. my response to that is:

Why do you care so much? Leave them be, people come out when they are ready. So if you got a little sarcasm with responses to that (I didn't read the responses) I would understand.

Answer 9

okay, so as far as i can see this is your 3rd question in the LGBT section. One about a gay friend which you got many nice responses and one about Doogie Howser which i think you must have found out that no one really cares if he is gay or not. I'm not sure where you are seeing the sarcasm to your legitimate questions.

Answer 10

email me directly and ask me any question. I am not condesending, but most straights are trying to discriminate, save our soul and etc... and puts us on the defense.