I'm in the middle of a divorce and my lawyer just called me and said that he has an attorney...and the attorney said that he wants to have visitation for Thanksgiving...I have to give an answer in a little while...Thing is, I don't want to be stressed for thanksgiving especially b/c I am having it at my house. He lives in Tx and I don't trust it right now...This is such short notice...Am I wrong for saying no? He never gave me child support...He was surved his papers on Friday and we been seperated since Feb 4th 2005. Is he trying to hurt me?
2006-11-21 04:41:31 · 21 answers · asked by angelic1302 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He did try to keep them twice...I had to go to Houston and get them back...
2006-11-21 04:48:18 · update #1
I would say not to let him have visitation on Thanksgiving. The reason I say this is because of two things - the short notice and the fact that he was served with papers on Friday. He may be trying to hurt you. As part of the divorce, you & your attorney need to work out with his attorney all the visitation details, including the major holidays and how you will communicate and transport the kids back and forth. Please, though, don't use the kids as a way to hurt him or as a way to try to force him to pay child support. As an adult whose parents got divorced, I know from a kid's point of view, that they want to see both parents, no matter who pays what. However, if there is violence or alcohol or drugs involved, that changes things. Then, no way should he be with the kids unsupervised. Hope this helps.
2006-11-21 04:49:44 · answer #1 · answered by Margo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Visitation for what? A child? Never paid child support? Has he had visitation before? If you are filing for divorce then that divorce should state whose going to have custody and visition. If he had no visitation before and suddenly he want visitation then go get a court order now. You should be able to get a temporary order of custody same day!!! Your going to have a nasty Thanksgiving either way. If he goes on his own or even if you tell him no. If you say no he'll be more upset. Dangerous? You should now. Disgraceful? Most likely? Don't you dare have Thanksgiving alone. Make sure there are plenty of people around to witness his behavior. Good Luck
2006-11-21 04:50:53 · answer #2 · answered by loanbrokerprograms 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a father wants to see their child you cannot stop it unless you can prove it is in the childs best interest to not let them (abuse, unsanitary, drugs, ect...). This is even if the absent parent doesn't pay the child support, the courts will get the money their way. Your only choice is to say no b/c of the short notice but remember Christmas is coming up. If you agree to this for Thanksgiving, tell them you get Christmas!
2006-11-21 04:47:37 · answer #3 · answered by Liome 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say No this is not going to help you or the children with him around. Tell him to have Thanksgiving with his family and friends. He broke all ties with you and the children in 2005 so what the h ell is his problem now...
He doesn't give you child surpport, so he can't free load Thanksgiving dinner from you and your family.
JUST SAY "NO WAY"
2006-11-21 04:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by Angell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you cannot keep the kids away from him. However, he did act like a jerk by not paying support. Find out from your lawyer if you can decide on another date for visitation that will suit you. I do not know that much about law, but I do get the idea that you have a stronger case than him so do not allow him intimidate you.
2006-11-21 04:47:46 · answer #5 · answered by krisi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, let me say, child support and visitation do not fall hand-in-hand so whethe he pays child support or not is irrelevant.
Second, you have "presumed custody" until everything is said and done. If he does not have a court order with his visitation schedule outlined for him on it, I would say no....and keep saying no, right up until the point that he does.
[edit] You would have gotten better advice had you posted this in the law and ethics category under politics.
2006-11-21 04:47:56 · answer #6 · answered by Zelda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. he is probably just trying to be a dad to his children. i think you should give it a chance to see what happens (unless he has shown in the past an attempt to abduct the children). as far as the child support - make a deal with him that this will be a point to discuss as soon as the holidays are over. but if he is a good dad and the kids need their dad - you should consider it. ask to see a round trip airline ticket to make sure he has intentions of sending the kids back. he has some rights to those children. if he is not paying support - he will be thrown in jail if you pursue that.
2006-11-21 04:46:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are wrong to say no; especially since he has not shown that he is a responsible parent by making sure that he paid any child support. If you don't trust the situation....say so. Tell your lawyer that you would prefer not to this year and leave it at that. You do not have to justify your reasons.
2006-11-21 04:46:52 · answer #8 · answered by amaladyrose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys are on good terms then absolutely but if not then no, but if children are involved that would be the happiest day for them. The kids come first when there is divorce, making them happy is priority, when they see you 2 getting along despite everything it makes them so intelligent.
2006-11-21 04:47:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your lawyer to tell his lawyer that he can have visitation when he starts making support payments. Until then, you'll see him in court.
This is too short notice for your children too, it would be completely disruptive for them at this late date. Lack of planning on his part doesn't create an emergency on your part.
Best of luck to all of you.
2006-11-21 04:46:59 · answer #10 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋