OK, my girlfriend wants to break up and I respect that except that she says that it is because we have different taste in hobbies and music. I think she really is breaking up because she is Very social and adaptable and I am actually a little shy and I try to fit in with her friends but I am not as involved in the conversation (she says). Do you think that she is breaking up because of this (like the hobbies and music are just a front). I respect that she wants to split up. Should I get counseling to be more outgoing or are girls okay with a guy who is not super outgoing? Also if so, I am interested in meeting a girl who is, even within a few hours of me is okay (Atlanta).
2006-11-21 04:39:16 · 10 answers · asked by dwsum41@yahoo.com 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
dude, don't think too hard about it. It sounds like she told you the correct reason. She probably doesn't see the relationship going any futher than it is now.
2006-11-21 04:41:44 · answer #1 · answered by Big Rick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude - not a good idea to surf for other chicks while you are asking about an ex-girlfriend.... There is a start to the advice...Here is the rest:
You are most likely young (18 - 21?) Maybe it is the hobbies, or maybe it is the fact that you are a bit shy. WHY is not important at this point - she isnt leaving you because you have bad hygeine or anything like that which you can CHANGE. She is leaving you because of who you are, what you like or how you act - and that is something you should NEVER CHANGE FOR ANYONE. (because, for one, no one will ever change for you. People dont change for others - people only change for themselves when they absolutely need to.) You dont need counseling to be more outgoing. Either make an atttempt, or be your same, shy self. Either way, you will find someone eventually....
Just so you know, a good friend of my fiance, who is very outgoing and personable, is married to a guy who never speaks. He went on a hunting trip with my fiance's brother in law to Utah and said one sentece on the entire drive "Roll up the F*&king windows!" That was it..... Opposites attract!!
Good luck!
2006-11-21 12:47:44 · answer #2 · answered by YDoncha_Blowme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's sort of silly to break-up over a difference or two in hobbies and music. It just doesn't truly add up, as the saying goes, "Opposites attract". It could be a front but then, it would depend on how long you two having been going out, and how great the initial attraction was.
Counselling is an interesting idea if you two can both readily agree to go through with it; though it depends on what your utmost purpose in this relationship is. (Do you plan on marrying her? etc.)
Furthermore, if this counselling idea comes from somewhere in the back of your mind because you want to 'improve' in 'pleasing her'... then, don't do it. Just because you may not seem able to interact with her friends as much as she does, that doesn't mean you need to work on it.
Then, you are interested in meeting another girl - go for it! What's a little break-up anyway. Sure, it's painful but it becomes the past and something you can never bring back... Who knows, maybe you'll find happier love the next time around! :)
In a relationship, it should never matter what your hobbies are - whether they interact with one another or not. Yes, it's fun when you share an equal liking but the best part of a relationship is the spark. Not the interests. The spark is brought out through one another's characteristics/personality.
Go on... find love! Love is in the air, it's all around us. But you must remember these simple steps:
1) Be cautious/careful
2) Be yourself/Take pride in who you are
3) Be happy and Have Faith!!
2006-11-21 12:56:46 · answer #3 · answered by the Optimist 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are shy, and not outgoing -which is perfectly fine, then you have two choices.
One is to learn to be less shy. This is done by 'acting as if'. That means when you interact with others, -even though you feel shy on the inside, act as if you didn't. The brain learns how to act in an outgoing manner, and one day you will find that you are no longer 'acting' but actually are outgoing.
The second way is to find women who are also quiet and shy. Who will appreciate not having the pressure of being gregarious and outgoing.
So either embrace your shyness, or change. Either way is OK.
2006-11-21 12:48:48 · answer #4 · answered by roscoedeadbeat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that there'd have to bee some pretty big discrepancies in taste for things like music and hobbies to be a problem in a relationship. Generally you can compromise on those when you like someone. (i.e. My car, my music; your car, your music. Baseball game this week, movie next week.) And as long as you enjoy spending time together, it shouldn't much matter what you're doing. There's probably another reason she wants to break up.
I personally like shy guys. They tend to be more self-contained than the outgoing guys who need constant entertainment, and expect me to provide it. And I generally have more in common with them, like reading or playing video games. I guess what I'm getting at is that you just need to find a girl who's got more to think about than how entertaining her boyfriend is.
2006-11-21 12:54:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First,-----Move on, it doesn't matter the reason, she is done with you. People try to "make it easier" with soft excuses.
All that will do is throw a crumb to someone hoping it isn't true.
It is true, get over it.
Don't try to change yourself, hang out with girls you are comfortable with as friends, one day you will click with one of them or someone you meet by knowing them.
I think talking about counseling and changing is futile because then you would not be you. I am sure you being you is best.
God Bless
2006-11-21 15:46:45 · answer #6 · answered by June smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya sounds like a front, so she probably does want to break up with you since your shy and what not, and dont get along with her friends and such.
Alot girls out there, all liking different things, but working on not being shy isnt all so bad.
2006-11-21 12:43:11 · answer #7 · answered by Suppa K 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well just break it off and move on. I am sure that you can find someone who has the same qualities as you do. And then both of you won't have that problem. Just be yourself and don't change who you are just to fit in and to make your girlfriends or friends like you more. If they don't like you, for you then they aren't true friends. or girlfriends..
2006-11-21 12:43:02 · answer #8 · answered by angels_killed_me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would not worry about it too much she might be using that as an excuse and she might not there are tons of girls who like she guys trust me !!!!
2006-11-21 12:41:54 · answer #9 · answered by formerffagirl05 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get someone who is just like you!! you know
2006-11-21 12:43:35 · answer #10 · answered by 2112 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋