And following separation the ex-wife obtains a bf in just three months and then soon afterwards invites him to essentially live in the marital home. What is going on in her head?
2006-11-21 04:22:13 · 12 answers · asked by neutral 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Obviously there were some serious problems in your marriage. Seeing as how she's now your ex-wife, you're asking this question a little late, and asking if of the wrong people. You should've asked her. If you have a good relationship with her, you might try to get it out of her one day, maybe she'll tell you what happened with her in your relationship. If I were to bet on it, I'd bet you took her for granted, you stopped courting her. She felt like you didn't care about her anymore, so she went out and found someone who does. I'm not condoning her actions, because I firmly believe that marriage is a lifelong committment, and you fix the problems in the marriage, and divorce really isn't an option. But obviously you weren't giving her what she needed in your relationship. Sorry......You probably need to just move on with your life.
2006-11-21 04:31:38 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
often times when a spouse leaves the relationship, she rewrites the whole marriage, and they change, they actually become the person they are sleeping with. people make alot of promises to their mates, and when someone else comes into the relationship she forgets all about her mate, as if they never meant a thing to them. she has met and moved in with another, and we just have to allow them to make their own choices, even if we are hurt by it, because she will only resent u if u try to make her change her mind. the heart is much stronger than the mind, but the heart is very deceitful also. we all think after many years that all is well and that person will always be there, but it only takes one person to change their mind. honestly if someone can be taken away so easily by someone new, than we don't want them anyway. we do fear the unknown, and the future. and none of us likes changes, but we got to let them go and do whatever, we may never get a straight answar from them, and maybe the answar they would give us would just destroy what self worth we have left, so let it go. we rarely get the truth, has to do with what she is thinking about.
2006-11-21 14:12:47 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things and people change. When a situation changesm you can either change with it or resist it. Too must resisting and you're going to tear the realtionship.
Obviously something changes in your relationship that one of you is not happy about - for whatever reason. the other partner knows what the problem is he or she has just been ignoring it and hoping the other is doing the same.
Talk it out, maybe it's something that can be fixed - maybe it isn't.
Good luck
2006-11-21 12:26:09 · answer #3 · answered by wonderingunhappily 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow - that's different. Usually it's the man doing that to the ex-wife.
I would have to say in most cases it is because you both stop listening to each other and communications break down. You become more concerned with your own pleasure, your own wants, you, you, you, and oblivious to your spouse. Or you becomes so comfortable that you are blinded to what your spouse is crying out for - attention, usually. In a case like that one or the other 'checks out' of the relationship. First mentally, then physically.
2006-11-21 12:47:17 · answer #4 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to modern relationships- you can thanks
liberals and feminists for turning traditional roles on thier
heads. Every one wants their cake and to eat it too and
no one commits to eachother anymore-everyone just wants
to F' around.
No one waits till their married any more to have sex either
which is another problem. Waiting actually strengthens a
marriage and enhances the love and passion between
the two people. When two people are already having sex
and have been for several years, what is there to look
forward to when you are married?
I suggest you find yourself an old fashioned type girl
with traditional values then, and only then will you
be happily married.
can you believe im saying this and i am 24?
2006-11-21 12:27:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People definately grow apart. I have been married for 20 years to my husband and the feelings just are not the same anymore. I kind of just love him like a brother not a husband.
2006-11-21 15:41:24 · answer #6 · answered by pat1268 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People in affairs "re-write" history.
You can call it change, but from my research on the topic, they must do this to help justify breaking their vows. They lie to themselves, convincing themselves that it's ok, because they didn't really love you anyway and it's better to let you know now, than to keep living a lie.
So, it's a self-defense mechanism.
2006-11-21 12:26:53 · answer #7 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People change and they grow apart. sh it happens. Time to man up and move on.
Fellas: If you don't want another man living with your ex in your old home don't leave the house.
A piece of advice from CPT Obvious
2006-11-21 12:26:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
People do change and grow apart to prevent that keep your marriage alive!
2006-11-21 12:27:09 · answer #9 · answered by ღStarzzღ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lot of stuff can happen in 30 years
2006-11-21 15:23:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋