How do you breakup w/ someone who you want to be w/ but you dont want to feel the pain and sadness anymore?

Question

I love my boyfriend but he doesnt trust me and that makes me not trust him. He always hugs and flirts with his ex- girlfriend right in my face and I think he still likes her. I dont want to be w/ him anymore but I guess I just dont want to be alone. So how do I break up w/ him? I dont know how.

Answer 1

u know the usher let it burn song play that and say i just cant take it anymore i cant do this gurl u can di it :]

Answer 2

I have a feeling - and this may be my own need to believe in the power and strength of women - that you will be okay; in fact, I know it! The fact that you realize something is wrong with your relationship is a big step.

Do NOT ever stand for someone who disrespects you like that, flirting and being affectionate with his ex in front of you! How pathetic! Your BF seems to NEED constant admiration and to be the center of attention at all times, even when it is clearly inappropriate and hurtful to someone else. This person is a boy, not a man, and - as it appears - he is a long way from becoming one.

It is NOT your job to wait for him to mature. You're ready now, and so is the one who is right for you. You will find The One, but not if you insist on playing doormat to some punk that doesn't have the confidence and skill to care for a woman the way you need. He's a baby, and too young to contribute anything worthwhile to your life.

Tell him you don't need someone who is more concerned with his own needs than with yours, that you're sorry it didin't work out, and that you need some time alone. Don't offer to be friends with him after you split - after all, with friends like him, who needs enemies?

Good Luck!

Answer 3

You are right not to trust him because he doesn't trust you. People only distrust others without reason if they have something they are hiding. A cheater will often accuse their significant other of cheating, just because they do it all the time and are paranoid about others doing it to them. Don't be afraid of being alone. There are 300 million other people out there, just waiting for you to meet them. You will find someone else you can love who will love you more than this jerk does. You are someone's dream girl, you just gotta figure out whose.

Good luck :D Be strong!

Answer 4

Just break up with him like you're ripping off a band aid. Do it fast...and do your best to get over it quickly.

If you're not happy, end it. There is no reason to continue being unhappy. You will find a man out there worth trusting, who will trust you equally.

Let him know you're ending it because the relationship isn't good to you or for you anymore. Might as well end it now before it gets any worse or more complicated.

Answer 5

First off, ask yourself - is this, the relationship you have with him now, what you want? Is it what you want in 6 months? A year? Longer? Because that's what you're most likely to get.

Here's the thing -- people do change over time, but in ways that make sense to them, not necessarily to you. They change when they become unhappy enough with their own situation to change - not simply to please someone else. If you aren't happy in the relationship now, it's highly unlikely you'll be more happy with it in the future.

You don't want to be alone - who does? Not trying to be callous here. It's a simple truth that human beings are social animals and we don't like to be alone. However. Being without a boyfriend isn't being alone - it's being without a boyfriend, and it's not a permanent state. What's lonelier than being without a boyfriend? Being with one who doesn't respect you, and the one you have:

> doesn't trust you
> you don't trust
> hugs and flirts with his ex in front of you, even though he knows it's painful for you, so he
> doesn't care how you feel.

Look that list over, then look it over again. Next, tell Lover Boy that this isn't working for you. That's all you have to say - no explanation needed, no big fight required (there can only be a fight if both of you participate. If you simply say "This isn't working for me" and walk, there's no fight).

What's more important is what you do next. You:

> Spend time with friends and family, people who "get" you and like you as you are
> Get out in your community, take classes, volunteer for charities, meet new people who share your interests
> This will help with that "after relationship" dip in self-esteem most of us experience, which will make you more attractive to
> yourself, people you meet, and that guy who is out there, looking for someone like you. Who knows where he is? While you're out there looking, you're also making new friends, learning new things, making a life for yourself, so you and New Guy will have lots to talk about.

This is your time to experiment, try anything from bird watching to zookeeping (most zoos train volunteer docents), find out what excites you, and meet other people who like those same things.

Remember, this happens to everyone at some point, so it's not like you're really alone. All of us who've been where you are now are pulling for you. Now tell "Loverboy" he's free to pursue his Ex and get moving!

Answer 6

I personally would rather be happy and content by myself then to be with someone and miserable all the time. If he is still showing affection to his ex in your face like that ; he has no respect for you or your relationship.

If he is doing that in front of you there is no telling what he is doing when you are not around. You are better than that.

It may hurt at first, but after a while you will wonder what were you thinking when you got with him in the first place!!

Answer 7

Sweetheart whats wrong with being on your own for a while? It wont be long im sure. You are not happy with this guy and he obviously doesnt feel the same way that you do if he did he wouldnt even look at another girl.
Be strong you are letting him undermine your confidence finish with him he wont be hurt only his pride dented.
You will be upset for a while but trust me you will meet someone else and he will appreciate you for you.

Answer 8

just tell him its over... then tell yourself you're newly single, and end the conversation.. being single isn't bad, its actually alot of fun... doing whatever you want, when you want to, not having to "check in" with occassional phone calls to say hi.. you can see your friends whenever because you don't have to worry about scheduling time for the bf... and girl, its better than watching a guy you care for flirt in front of you and not care that it hurts you... being single is a good thing, you can get to know who you really are and not have to be what someone else wants you to be.. and when you are ready to be with someone, the right guy will come, and love you for who you are... and the best part is you get to stay who you are now that you know who that person is!!

have you ever seen "while you were sleeping" the movie with Sandra Bullock? remember the nurse says "next time you are talking to yourself tell yourself you're single and end the conversation" I like to think of it as, yeah the first step is admitting you're single, and its hard to do.. but the next step is ending the conversation, or as i like to think, forget it!!! forget that you think its bad and lonely!! its so not!! it only is if you look at it that way! being single is good for a person after something like what you are going through! it'll be ok.. one day at a time!

and if you haven't seen that movie, go rent it, you'll love it!

:) easier said than done... but once its done, you can move on with you bright future! and just think the minute you drop him off on the curb, is one more minute closer to finding that inner woman, and the right man who is meant to love that woman you are becoming!

Answer 9

sounds prefer to me which you have somewhat plenty on your strategies to artwork out. matters inclusive of your EX, your self and the “what if’s“ or “could have” or “ought to have“ . permit me shop you the suspense right here. no person on right here has the solutions which you seek for. those solutions ought to come from you as you are the guy who will ought to stay with the determination. inspite of the undeniable fact that, many human beings on right here have reports that could desire to be clever counsel. I’ve been in a similar issue till now. i will permit you recognize that agonizing over the strategies made didn’t accomplish something different than giving me pointless rigidity. So It’s my advice which you reside away out of your ex and spend a while doing each and on a daily basis habitual for awhile. as quickly as your thoughts have regressed somewhat you could desire to even see the image somewhat clearer and have the flexibility to make the “good determination for you”. stay via your wits and tendencies of desires. the astonishing woman will come alongside and whilst she does there gained’t be any question on your strategies that she has. Do your self a prefer and stay away from your EX. after all, there's a rationalization why you 2 parted.

Answer 10

i dont want to sound mean but almost every question i get on here people mention that when they breakup the other person says they still want to be friends..
from my experience is never works out as planned..

because it puts you into a situation like u r in now..
it hurts to see him but hurts not to see him..

what u need to do is realize that everything happens for a reason... u may not know why today or tomarrow but down the road u will find out..

if u guys do want to be friends what i strongly suggest is to take a good break from one another... as in do not see each other for a few months.. and keep the contact down to a minimum... this will allow for those fresh feelns you have for each other cause of the 3 years to die down just a little bit... this will enable you to look at things differently.. u will be able to see if it is something u really want to go through... cause right now your heart is not going to mend when it knows that what made it happy is only an arm length away...

the heart needs time to heal babe and u need to give it time...

i am not saying that you can not be friends but it is going to take a long time...

again from experience i dated a girl for a few years and we broke it off... we tried the friend thing at first and it did not work so we just stopped contact and a few years later we ran into each other and were able to have a good few hour conversation... we are friends on that level.. that we will speak if we see eachother but not go out of our way to make it a point to be noticed..

i think that is what u need to do...

right now you are young ( i know you hear tha tall the time) but i am serious.. u have alot to look forward to in your future life... life is to short to be going through day to day being hurt... right now u need to focus on yourself.. gettn yourself where uw ant to be... focus on your college and schooling.. and when u r out having fun someone will come along who will fit you perfectly

not every relationship is meant to last forever...

around your age is when alot of people realize that they want a breakup... i am serious on this.. cause right now you both are experiencing new things and want to enjoy life.. so let the good times role and always look ahead...

good luck hope it helps