I'm thinking of changing to using my middle name?

Question

I have always preferred my middle name and found out recently from my mum that I was actually always meant to be known by it (not quite sure why i wasn't then but never mind!).

I am also getting married next year and my middle name goes much better with my soon-to-be married name.

I'm very tempted to make the change and start using my middle name.

Anyone else done this? How did people react to it? Are you now known by your new name, or did everyone just say you were mad and ignore it?

Answer 1

My mom's first and middle names were Lillian Janeal and for her entire life she went by Janeal (her middle name). It's what she was called by everyone and many people thought it was her first name... Two years ago she suffered a stoke that caused significant speech problems. I was sitting in her room when the nurse came in and asked if she could say her name. She was having trouble but it was obvious she was trying to say "Neal"

The nurse kept asking ok mam, can you say your first name? My mom got upset and stopped responding to anymore questions including my name.

As the nurse left the room, Mom looked at me and said "I'm not that one, I'm neal, you're bubba, and she's a *****." It was first understandable statement she had made. Over the next several months, every time she was addressed as Lillian by a new doctor, nurse, or therapist she let it be known she wanted her name legally changed.

We intended to do so but there always seemed to be more important things on the aggenda... hospitals, rehab, preping the house, her care, her bills, our own lives... Seven months later she passed away. That would have probably been the last I ever thought of it, but at the funeral the priest repeatedly referred to her as Lillian. We hadn't respected one of her last wishes and it was too late...

You're getting married... If you're taking your husband's last name, you will be legally changing your name anyway. If you want to change it, then do it at the time you marry. In the meantime let your friends and family know you're making the change but don't be obnoxious about it... To some people you will always be know by some other name... After all Mom's Neal, I'm Bubba, and I'm alway's going to remember that nurse as the *****... ;)

Answer 2

I have a similar story. After having FIVE girls, my aunt and uncle finally had their first boy. Not knowing if they would ever have another, they decided to give him all the boys' names they had saved up through the other pregnancies. He is now Lucas James Nathan Alexander Lastname! (A few years later, they DID have another boy; since they had used up all the names they loved, they just named him after both grandfathers.) Anyway, I definitely think three or four middle names is a bit much. Two middle names I can understand, though my personal preference is one. It can be hard to get combinations to flow well if you are using more than one middle name. As My Name Isobel said, if you knew you could only have one child, you might be tempted to throw one more name you loved into the mix. Or, you might want to give your child a first and middle name of your choosing, plus a second family middle name. I'm considering using Clara Juliet Elizabeth Lastname for that reason. I love the way Juliet sound with Clara, but Elizabeth is my mother's middle name. Some couples give two middle names because they want to give their child a family middle name but don't want to cause any trouble by choosing one side of the family over the other. If the paternal grandfather is named Edward and the maternal grandfather is named Benjamin, they might go with Cooper Benjamin Edward Lastname. I grew up with one middle name, but when I got married I took my maiden name as a second middle name. It does feel a little weird to me having two middle names, since I'm not used to it, especially since I'm never sure what to put as my middle initial, but I think the benefits sometimes outweigh that slight disadvantage.

Answer 3

Just be warned that any changes from your exact birth name is considered an alias name. The more you have, the more confusing your bills, taxes, credit all becomes and the more risk you have of having any of the above mixed up with another with the same name.

I myself am a Ronald but since 5th grade I sign everything as Ronn....only having one alias and doing it prior to any adult items, I lucked out and have had zero problems.

My aunt changed her name legally as an adult and has major issues over it ever since.

My mom hates her first name but uses it still to ensure all items remain normal. She just uses the first initial when signing anything. Instead of Dawala Jean....she signs D. Jean but everyone calls her Jean.

Just be careful as if you go from Sally to Beth and have no reference or if you are an adult (18+) already then you might encounter problems at times.

Just make sure once you change it, every single item you ever sign, fill out, type, you always use that name. To use both will cause confusion as well.

Answer 4

While I haven't done exactly what you have suggested, I elected not to take my husband's name when I married and therefore had to go through the same "how did people react" etc scenarios as you have outlined.

Firstly, it's your decision and that should be respected. If you change your name you should let everyone (not just business links) know of the change. Anyone failing to respect your wishes in relation to your "new" name (or for me, my usual name) can, unfortunately, be classed as overbearing, rude and (frankly) pig-ignorant.

If you are addressed by your former name, politely correct those involved.

It's your decision how you will be known - just do it!

Answer 5

you can call yourself anything you like simply use your real/full name for legal reasons IE your bank account etc or you could change your name by deed poll so its legal(this might be better if you want to get married with that name).Its not complicated or expensive you just need a solicitor to do it and a witness.My grandmas first name was Margret but I or no-one else ever new her as that ..she only ever used her middle name which was Christine.

Answer 6

it'll be a struggle to get people to call you by another name. However if it'll make you happy then go for it. Remember the person is more improtant the name. Otherwise we would know what a person was like from their first name.

Answer 7

More than anything I wish I had a middle name.
I have used Thia as a shortened version of my actual one, for answers. Go for it, and don't worry about anyone else.

Answer 8

I am mostly known by my middle name so I think you should have no problem.Just tell people what you want to be called

Answer 9

My cousin did that when she was 16, all of her friends call her by her middle name now, but the family still struggle with it.
You don't need to do it legally either as long as it it on your birth cerificate.

Answer 10

i've known alot of people that have done it before and it didnt make that big if an impact on their life but it took her awhile to get used to writing her middle name on all her pappers but now shes used to it so its totally up to you on what you decide to do but even if no one else wanted you to do it i would go for it