have my mba and will earn somewhere around 110k this year, maybe a bit more. i sort of feel that my job is a cakewalk now and no longer a challenge. i have sort of lost my career motivation. to an extent, i care and to a larger extent i no longer do. my wife on occasion will ask me when i am going to start looking for another job and i just tell her in another month . sort of feel like i just want to enjoy life rather than stress myself out by taking some 200k a year job managing 100 or more people. i really dont care whether we stay in our 3 bedroom 1 1/2 bath home in northern new jersey or upgrade to something bigger. i also think it wouldnt be the end of the world if my kids had to take out college loans. i sort of feel like i have achieved enough. maybe i would feel different if i wasnt making enough to make ends meet. my wife makes about 45k a year so its not like i feel any embarrassment about what i am earning. ladies, would you be disappointed if your husband had this attitude?
2006-11-21 03:39:53 · 14 answers · asked by jeremy k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you could say maybe i have hit the wall where you start questioning what it matters anyway.
2006-11-21 03:42:55 · update #1
I wouldn't be disappointed at all, but thats me. You provide more than well enough for your family...what exactly is it that she wants?? Some people or materialistic and prestige oriented...which is fine..some people want to take a break and smell the roses every once in a while..which is fine too. Sounds like the combination you have. Maybe the next time she brings up you looking for another job...tell her your not looking for one...that your content for right now with where you are and that you'd like to stay there for a bit. Maybe THEN she will express why it is that she wants you to keep pressing on. If its not something your willing to do right now then tell her so.
2006-11-21 03:58:01 · answer #1 · answered by Miloree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that someday you will look back on this period of life and wonder what you were thinking. You are at the peak of your earning capacity but you have fallen into a funk. I suspect you have a case of borderline depression. You really should look for another job, one that energizes and motivates you. Even if the pay is about the same, you need to find something more challenging. You are just marking time in your present situation. It has become easy and routine so why take a chance? Because now is the time to take a chance. You are in a rut. You talk about enjoying life but it doesn't sound like you are enjoying it at all. Make some changes in your life including a new job: Take up golf or some other sport, play tournament bridge, join the Masons or some other social group, get a hobby, ride a bike or jog, volunteer. In short get off your rusty butt and start to live your life instead of watching passively as it goes by. 32 soon becomes 52, my friend. It happens in the blink of an eye. When you look back, you want to be able to say, "I did my damndest and enjoyed every minute of it."
2006-11-21 03:50:48 · answer #2 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Y would u need a different job when u make that much? Y does she want u to have a different job? If your job is easy, u make enough money to support your family, and u rn't unhappy, y does she want u to have a different job? Y would your kids take out loans for college, when u could be saving what u make (some of it) and getting a college fund ready? Y would u need to move if ur home is big enough? Sorry to answer your question with a bunch of questions, but it is hard to give an answer with some many unanswered questions. If u r happy and u make enough money, don't leave your job, there is nothing wrong with the way u feel about it. there is no reason to change jobs if yours is fine. Ask your wife y she wants u to find another one.
2006-11-21 03:46:22 · answer #3 · answered by ltlchk_2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No! I would rather have a happy, relaxed husband who worked at McDonald's than one who worked 80 hours a week, made a ton of money, but could not relax and enjoy life.
You can't get back time and your health will suffer if you are stressed out all the time. I hope your wife appreciates that you are a good provider and are happy.
My boyfriend took a huge pay cut to take a job that did not require extensive travel so that we could spend more time together. I would rather have him than anything he can buy me.
You sound like a smart guy!
2006-11-21 03:43:49 · answer #4 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all you did was go to work and get your paycheck, I'd probably find you incredibly boring. If the reason you wanted a lower-stress job was so you could pursue your dreams, spend more time raising your kids, contribute to the community or volunteer to promote a cause, I'd be fine with it. It's a typical American attitude to have a working wife and put the kids in daycare, and shrug off college debt. That attitude is disappointing.
2006-11-21 03:47:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would understand it completely... But I would be hoping that an arrangement could be reached where we wouldn't have to lower our standrads of living *too* drastically. You kinda get used to a certain budget, and to having money around; but I agree that at the end, an extra few grand is not worth killing yourself over.
2006-11-21 04:05:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay let me say i am a 36year old mom and love my husband and would love for him to make that much but he don't i don't care what he makes as long as the bills are paid and food in the house for the kids and him to eat but i also think if he is not happy with his job then he needs to leave for a better one because if he is not happy then i am not happy and we all know the saying if momma isn't happy know one is well the same for daddy.........but that is one persons thought about it and like i said i love my husband so if he is not happy then I'm not.........
2006-11-21 03:48:49 · answer #7 · answered by missy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not married but i would just try to support my husband, so i guess i would not be disappointed if my husband had that type of attitude. it sounds like you are not really sure what you want to do because you want a more fulfilling career but you want to continue to secure your families future. im sure she is just trying to help but not really helping by nagging you. trying talking to her are someone else like pastor or counselor, but make sure you tell her that this is really important to you and that you want advice about this type of decision, that will help her feel involved even though it is your situation.
2006-11-21 03:46:58 · answer #8 · answered by porsha226 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i was your wife, then I would want u to be happy. I think that its just a phase and I would give u some time to think it over and deal with all of your emotions...
2006-11-21 03:49:36 · answer #9 · answered by sckr4luv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think i would be very supportive.
i would want you to be happy.
explain to your wife that happiness is worth a lot.
explain to her if your values and ideas have changed about what you might want out of life.
you need a heart to heart with her, maybe she doesnt' know about all these things inside you.
2006-11-21 03:43:47 · answer #10 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋