is it right to read my husband's text messages, or for him to be annoyed about it??

Question

his phone was there, i scrolled through, sometimes i forget my phone at home (for him to read if he wants), i have nothing to hide, i thought, why should he? he didnt stop me reading, just sighed and said "i wont get annoyed" but in a way which suggested he was. Yes, we're having a bit of a rocky time cause he draws very few border lines, whereas i care much for the principled side of things... you're all mostly right, we need to talk? what do i tell him? i can hardly say i dont trust him...

Answer 1

wats he got to hide???

Answer 2

Even though you already have at least 60 answers to this one, I still want to put in my 2 cents worth here.

For starters, IF he had nothing to hide what so ever, what in the heck is the big deal of looking at any text messages that he might have? There should be no reason what so ever for him to get upset about that. I would say that should be a Red Flag going up for you.

I know a lot of couples out there that it is like so what if you read my text messages or look at my contacts that I have, no big deal. That is the way it should be in the first place. Like on my phone, I could care less who sees it, I have nothing to hide at all. They can call any one of my contacts or all of them to see who they are. They can answer my phone, what ever, I don't care cause there is NOTHING TO HIDE.

I know there are some people out there that think they should have some privacy. The phone OR emails should not be private. That is unless you are trying to hide something from the other. And yes I feel about my emails the same way as I do my phone, it is an open door to any one that I am seeing. Any body that thinks different is hiding something, if not hiding anything, what is so bad about someone looking at either one of them?

I just now went back and read all your other answers that you got after I answered this question. Most of the answers that you got are all about trust. In the answer that I gave to you above, has nothing to do with trust in my books. My bf can even look in my truck, purse or anything he wants to and I don't care. It to me is not snooping at all. If you don't want your life that open to your mate, spouse or what ever they are to you, then as far as I am concerned you don't need them at all, you need to be single and stay single!!!

Answer 3

This could be answered both ways. One, if u trust him, why read them, by reading them, he may be thinking that u don't trust him and that could hurt. Or he could be annoyed b/c he has something to hide. OR, 2, why shouldn't you read them. There should be nothing to hide or kept secret in a marriage. You should ask him why he gets annoyed, maybe it's just the trust issue and then you can ask him sometimes if you can read the text msgs. Or maybe you two can be on the net together and you can both input the text msgs or whatever. If you are reading them b/c of lack of trust, then you need to talk to him about why u r having this problem and maybe then he will opt to ask you if u want to read them.

Answer 4

No and yes. Everyone deserves some privacy, even among married couples. Why are you reading his messages? do you not trust him? If not, then you'd better talk about that because reading his messages when there's no need to will only create resentment in him. Even though he's married to you, he has a right to some privacy. Would you like him to have total access to everything you write, your phone list, journal, etc.?

Answer 5

I can't see what's wrong with it, although this is how I found out my ex-husband was cheating. He used to pick up my mobile and read my messages, and open my post (I used to find out my friends had written to me and he had filed the letters away without telling me). It never occurred to either of us that there was any problem with it. Then one day his mobile beeped, I picked it up and there was a message saying "Hi sexy, I really enjoyed our time together, love Denise x" I thought it was one of those mischief messages, until there was another message a few weeks later from the same woman, commenting on some place we'd just been that weekend, and I knew she really did know him and what we were doing. He tried to laugh it off but I knew he was cheating.

Answer 6

Wouldn't that violate the trust you have in him? Shouldn't he be annoyed if you showed lack of faith in him. People should verbalize if they have insecurities instead of trying to sneak and peak. And what if there were text messages to other women?? If you suspected him as a liar then you felt that way long before the texting so that's on you. My question is does he do the same thing to you? Give privacy and if you are concern, talk about it.

Answer 7

Why are you reading them? If you have no real reason to suspect him of anything then you are wrong and are invading his privacy. Just because you are married doesn't give you the right to know everything that is going on in his head, he is his own person. How would you feel if it was reversed? If you do have reason to suspect him of something or if he has done something in the past, then why are you with him? You obviously have no trust.

Answer 8

Yes it's wrong! - What is it with women? They ask you a question that only has one right answer and if you give them the truth they get pissed. IE: "Do you think I look fat in this outfit?" Let me put it this way, If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask the question.

Back to the text messages........ What are you looking for? Are you concerned that he is cheating on you?

I don't know what it is about women ... my wife will answer the phone and it will be a wrong number. If that person on the other end was a woman, my wife will immediately confront me on if anything is up and something that she should know about.

Maybe I should be asking the question..... Are all women this way?

Leave your husband's/boyfriend's stuff alone!

Answer 9

Did you ask him?

If you asked him first, i can't see why he would care unless he is hiding something (that doesnt mean he is cheating on you, ie it could just be that he's planning a boys weekend away and hasnt asked you yet).

If you didnt ask him, then he might feel his privacy has been invaded and just overalll surprised to find you reading through his personal stuff.

He might also wonder why you care about his text messages, and suspect, that you suspect him, which would be enough to upset him.

Answer 10

no, even if you suspect something, you shouldn't be looking somewhere that is private, be it diaries, phones, emails etc. Unless it has been okayed in the past, you're crossing a line. If he finds out and is annoyed about it, that's to be expected. Think how you'd feel.

Answer 11

You know most girls on here would say no that ur in the wrong,but they know if they had even the slightest bit of thought that they're guy was cheating they would be doing everything in they're power to catch him in the act.I personally say yea, if i was you and i thought that my guy was cheating or getting TOO friendly with another chick i would read his text.And if hes not doing anything behind your back then he shouldn't have any reason to get mad.