Just found out that I'm pregnant again..........?

Question

I am married I am 30yrs old I have four children ages 13,10,5 and 6months the two youngest are my husbands but he also have two boys from someone else
after the last baby we both decided that we did not want anymore children, so he decided he would get himself fix, however we never got around to it for financial reasons and i can't take birth control
so yesterday i found out that i am pregnant again and my husband says he behind me no matter what i decide but i'm caught between a rock and a hard place because i don't believe in abortion but this seem like our only alternative because we really can't afford any more kids. please serious answers only.

and for those who thinks that we depend on the state financially that is not the case my husbands works for georgia pacific and i am a correctional officer so we do take care of ourselves.

Answer 1

I know this will be the hardest decision of your life, part of you wants this baby, and the other half is scared financially. Both you and your husbands' job sound great, your insurance might help with medical and it doesnt hurt to ask for a rise, you deserve it. After this pregnancy (if you work for CCA) they will pay for your tubes getting tied. Just offering some help,

Answer 2

Hi sweetie..Congratulations on the new baby. I am also like you I had two children very young. My two oldest are 19 and 16 now and my two youngest are 2 and 6 months. I am still nursing and not on b/c pills. Another baby for us right now would be very difficult. However I don't believe in abortion either. But I was so depressed when I got pregnant again that I actually contemplated one with my last baby. I can't tell you how terribly guilty I feel sometimes when I stare into that toothless grin on his tiny little face.. I am so happy that I have him and thank God everyday for him. I would keep the baby if I were you, your older children are getting older and won't be as much of a financial burden in a few years.They do get their own jobs etc. They can also be a big help to you now with baby sitting.
I am a strong believer that all life is a blessing either planned or unplanned. I believe that God will provide for all our needs and doesn't ever give us more then we can handle.
You can do this. Remember "You can do all things through Christ whom strengthens you." Phillip 4:13. Good Luck to you sweetheart you and your family will be in my prayers including your unborn and God bless all of you. Take care.

Answer 3

You have a maternal instinct from being a mother. If you decide on adoption, it is not likely that you will be able to give up the baby when the time comes and it will likely cause you more mental anguish than an abortion could. Furthermore, the "Everything will work out" mentality is dangerous and could have serious ramifications especially for your youngest (he/she being the most needy of the family right now). You have a responsibility first and foremost to your current children before yourself and even before any future child.

Now, if you truly decide you can't afford another child, then you may have to compromise your beliefs. You've dug yourself into a hole and digging deeper isn't going to get you out. Its time to decide whether you're going to buck up and climb out or keep digging. Your beliefs are what put you in this situation and despite what good they may have brought you, they have now brought you into this conundrum. Maybe its time to re-evaluate your stance.

You are not completely without hope, however. There is one other option; that is experimental cryostasis. I don't know much about it, but basically its quick-freezing your embryo to be implanted in a mother that can't have children for whatever reason. It is not perfected and the embryo may die in stasis if not implanted after a certain amount of time (years), but it may be worth a shot if it saves your peace of mind.

Bottom line: Don't rule out abortion just because someone else tells you its wrong. They're not in your situation, you are. You make the decision that benefits you and your family.

Answer 4

I really wish that you would really think about what abortion really is before you go into that solution. I don't see how someone who has children already can see abortion as a "way out". I do think that things will work out with your fifth child. I have an Aunt and Uncle who also have five children (all there own) and live on a very meager budget (she doesn't work) and they make it along just fine. Maybe it will mean that you have to get a cheaper car or not have such a big christmas and stuff. I'm not saying you won't have to sacrifice but with a little budget planning and scrimping and saving your new baby won't be too much trouble. I am expecting twins and luckily have my family all around me to help me, I can't afford to stay home literally but it will be hard to leave two newborns with my Grandmother or Aunt who already has a lot of kids herself. I don't know how, but I know that somehow it will all work out in the end. Just be happy about the blessing you are holding inside of you!
I wish you the best of luck! Truthfully...

Answer 5

I say follow your heart and do what you truly feel is the right thing for you and your husband. I have 3 children, 14, 10 and 13 months. When I found out I was pregnant with my youngest I wasn't sure I was going to be able to handle it (mentally and financially). I am glad to say that everything has worked out. I truly believe this was a blessing in disguise. Everything happens for a reason.

If you don't think abortion is the thing to do I would seriously consider adoption. I have several friends that would love to have children but can't. My heart bleeds for them everytime I talk to them about my children.

Best of luck to you and your husband. I hope everything thing works out for you!

Answer 6

You both are working. So whats the problem. I am my husband are very young with #4 on the way with only one job to support. We make it just fine. I would never put money before my children. I can't beleive you would say that you can't afford another child. So are we as americans going to let money destory us. Because it already is. I bet you could afford it if you put your baby first.
God will not give you more than you can handle. Good luck and hope that you think about what you might do!

Answer 7

OK i am not going to say if u think u can money wise as i read that dont seem to be a issue so the only thing i got to say for u is if u think u can handle going thought another pregnancy and cant handle everything go for if not look in to adoption but do u think u could do that giving ur own child up?

Answer 8

It really comes down to what you want in your heart. If really you want this child, you can make it work. You can get financial help through WIC and things of that nature. However, if you both just don't feel it's what you really want and really can't handle anymore kids then perhaps abortion is the best bet. Just be sure to get him snipped before going at it again...lol. It's a very tough choice and I'm sorry you have to make such a decision. It's really your own personal call though. It's your body and life, don't let anyone else influence your decision(s). Do what you believe is best for you and your family. Best of luck!

Answer 9

Have you thought about adoption? I am currently 11 weeks pregnant, a single mom of a special needs child and I made the decision that I could not have another one right now. I am giving my child up for adoption. One for financial reasons and two for emotional reasons with my son now. Even if you have to apply to the state for help there is nothing wrong with that! we get WIC and thats all that we get but still, thats what it is there for. The government has more money then all of us know what to do with! Heck, they are spending it on other countries so why not spend it on our own people. God Bless and I hope that you make the right decision for you and your family.

Answer 10

In five years, your oldest will be a legal adult, and capable of doing whatever he or she needs to do to begin his or her life.

In three years, that child will also be able to help you, financially, if he or she wishes to do that.

I don't agree with abortion, either, as the answer.

I would much rather be poor, and have to scrimp and save than to have an abortion or give my child away.

My philosophy is that the Lord will provide. I don't know if you're religious, or not, but, there's a reason you became pregnant. Just accept it as it has happened, and take it one day at a time.

I hope you can find peace with whichever decision you make.