Have weman hurt family values in the US with their desire to be considered the same as men?

Question

I am admittedly old fashion, but it seems to be that by leaving the caring for their home and raising of their children as their first priority behind in the pursuit jobs and careers they have hurt the core of the American family. When did caring for the home and raising children become anything less than the most noble and important job on earth? I understand there is a lot more to it than what I stated above. I am open minded and genuinely want to hear opposing opinions. I have some mixed feelings myself.

BTW: I am happily marred with kids. My wife is my equal. She is a stay at home mom. I know we are lucky we can do that. My wife has as much control over what I do as I do over what she does.

I agree that may working ladies still have to do a lot of the work at home and that is hard. No argument there.

Answer 1

It started after WW2 when women filled the factories while the men went to war.

Then especially with the women's liberation movement in the 1960's, the feminist were able to convince the public that oppression includes the expectation that women raise families, while men do 'real' work outside the home. Women were told they are not 'complete' unless they find fulfillment outside the home and earn enough, -to divorce their man, - if they 'want' to.

American society expects the schools to teach our kids (ha ha), the doctor to treat their illness and TV and music as harmless entertainment. After 30 years of the going-ons of this idea, some parents have wised up and realize that there's no substitute for an intact family life, and raising our most important commodity, - children.

American politics and life are filled with "unIntended concequences" and the kids suffer the most. Is it so wrong that both parents sacrifice in order to provide a better life for the next generation? And I'm not referring to a Playstation 3 as an example of a 'better life'.

PS. it's not 'luck' that you're wife stays at home as a priority. It's careful consideration and putting first things 'first'.

Answer 2

Wow, great question. I agree with what you have stated. It seems that many women are now leaving the home to work, only to make ends meet and some families the wife does not need to work at all, but she finds it more important to pursue the things of the world rather than raise her kids.

Unfortunately, our society has now come the place where money is more important than how families are comfortably situated. As prices go up, more people have to work to compensate for the raising prices that our economy seems to be throwing at us......and wages these days are not rising along with the economy so for most it is hard to have mom stay home.

I wish our country was more considerate the American family household and the children. Perhaps, if the priorities of our politicians and citizens were changed, then our country would be better off. But then you are talking about, changing everyones mindset of wanting to make more money, have nice materialisitic items, having mulitple relationships, and other nonsensical immoral things.

It is sad........but we are a people that are now only concerned for "Self".

Tiffany *If only the family were more important than money*

Answer 3

The biggest problem is not women leaving to work and wanting to be considered equally as valuable as men, which we are if not more. The problem is that the other spouse and children, the majority of the time, have not stepped up to the challenge and compromised to make it work. Why is it the woman's job to stay at home? Just because we have the children doesn't mean we should be the ones staying at home to care for them. Men can do it, nannies can do it, other family members can do it, child cares can do it. People just need to realize that their jobs should not be number one, when they have a family, they need to put them first and make time for them. We have become so career and money driven that we forget the valuable things in life: family, time, love, happiness, which is why we are probably so depressed and ill anymore. A great example of this is the movie: Click. I highly recommend it. It deals with this issue.

I believe this problem could be resolved and I know families who have made it work. Men staying at home while the women work, taking time off for kids sports and PTA and dinners, working from home, etc. There are ways to make it work whether one person works or both work...it is called compromise among family members and prioritizing values.

Answer 4

No, I don't think women's desire to be treated equally has hurt American families. I think the trend of valuing individual goals and well-being over collective goals and well-being (in all sorts of social groups, not just the family) has created the problem. This is a deep-rooted trend in Western socities and existed even before women decided they were worth something - in fact, maybe this trend actually encouraged women to take this step.

I'm not of the opinion that people should not value their individual goals and aspirations highly, but I think society needs to encourage people to balance these with a sense of obligation to collective goals - including the goals of family. Simply put, men and women alike need to make individual sacrifices to make a family work (and this does not necessarily mean that the woman or one parent stays home). This might mean not taking that promotion that will eat up more time, or not moving to that new city on the other side of the world.

However, in order for people to make these personal sacrifices regarding their own individual aspirations, they have to value the aspirations of the group (in this case the family) as much as their own. This is the challenge our society faces: modifying our individualist ideology so that we are capable of having more than one "first priority". It is possible to have multiple, equally-important "top priorities" simultaneously. There is no contradiction here. It just means that people will have to comprimise to try to fulfill all of them.

And this should not just be women's responsibility. Family should not be women's "first priority"; it should be "a top priority" for all the people involved in the group - mothers, fathers and children.

On a side note: I'm not sure the "family values" you're talking about ever really existed in the way many people seem to think they did. There were many reasons why women historically stayed home, and most weren't rooted in "family values". This term is a recent invention and it's power comes from it's connection to a nostolgic view of the past. The word "family" and the term "family values" have been highly politicized and I think this hurts the discussion you are trying to start. I would suggest avoiding this term.

Hope that answers your question.

Answer 5

I agree that the core family values of father providing and mother nurturing is being lost. The natural difference between men and women and their complimentary nature in the grand scheme of things has been severly damaged by the effort of women to be equal in the work place. That makes it much more difficult, nearly impossible in some cases, for the woman to still be the moving force in the home. She is too tired, just as her husband, to then come home and do the housework. It makes an entire change in the scheme of housework in order to get things done. Both have to cooperate in the evenings to do the housework. For the children, it becomes difficult because they don't have the foundation of a parent at home. Both parents are absent due to their work. Families have been damaged and society has been damaged because of this trend.
There is no easy answer. Some women have to work and some families are in difficult situations for no fault of their own. I do believe that where possible, the mother should be in charge of the home and care for the children. The father should always have the primary responsibility to provide for the family's needs. We are better off as a society when we embrace the complimentary differences between men and women and apply them appropriately.

Answer 6

Your wife is lucky that she doesn't have to work. My husband and I both work - we don't have any kids - but there's no way I could stay at home unless he was making a lot more money. So sometimes people have no choice in the matter - things are expensive today, it's not the same as 40 years ago. I think living in the past and not learning to adapt to current trends is what holds families back.

Answer 7

I think that is a very pertinent question for today's society. I am sure the feminists out there will give you lots of flak for asking it :)

IMO, I agree that society is suffering in part because of the confusion between men and women's roles in the home. Traditional roles seemed to benefit men, because they bolstered men's ego by giving him the opportunity to be the White Knight for his family, which some argue is the #1 thing a man needs. Likewise they reinforced women's fantasies to be the Beauty worthy of being saved by the White Knight. But you can't blame the women who have only done what they felt they needed to to pick up the slack in their lives. It is tricky territory, but I would say the men are probably MORE at fault for being passive and letting the powerful women make them feel threatened at home, the office, etc. Boys don't have role models of masculine/manly men these days. Growing up, they think their biggest aspiration is to be "a nice guy." And women everywhere are complaining about the lack of chivalry and white shining knights. Women work because they either need to or like to, and that should be o.k. either way. So, yes, I agree about the symptoms, but I can't say it's just the fault of the women. And I wish I knew the cure. SOrry I don't.

Answer 8

most families depend on two incomes Some women do very well working and raising a family , there are women who would love to stay home but with cost of living going up everyday they cant who said its less than noble to work and provide for your family ? their children come first but some just cannot afford to not work !! to some putting food on the table is important along with having electric a car and gas so open your mind more and you will see that a lot has to do with necessity !!

Answer 9

I think the women's movement started off with the right intentions but somehow managed to mess everything up. Now the majority of women must work as well as do everything the women used to do when all they did was stay home. Now we work all day and have to come home and cook, clean, take care of the kids and all of the other daily chores. Some men help out, but the majority do not. I think it is apparent by looking at teenagers today that we have hurt our kids with this lifestyle.

Answer 10

The reason you think of your wife today as an equal is because of all the changes in the last 40 years. Men in the past did not think of their wives as equal and did not cede power in relationships to women.

And most women work for money. That's why I work. The cost of living has greatly risen in the last 40 years and it often takes two incomes to buy a basic house in much of the US. A single wage simply cannot afford what it once did.