My wife has just checked her self into an addivtion hospial for drinking. She has confeesed to me that she has had an affair within the last few weeks including sleeping with him. I'm not sure if I can get past this even though I know that she has an alcohol proble. She claims that she still loves me but I had pushed her away during this problem.
2006-11-21 03:09:02 · 9 answers · asked by dan d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the first step was admitting she has a problem..i think that she does love you. she loves you enough to be honest with you and get help to me that says i made a mistake and i want to work through this because i love you. i would give her the benefit of the doubt the first time but let it be known you don't trust her. I just went through a similar situation myself and at first i did not think i could get through it one day i would be fine and the next minute i just wanted to rip his throat out. One thing that helped me was him answering all my questions and I had alot. I had to understand how this happened before I could determine if it was worth saving. only you can decide if your even willing to try. you loved her at one time, think back to that time how she made you feel, things you use to do together and ask yourself if you can ever feel that way again. For me it was those memories that picked me up and helped me keep fighting ...don't get me wrong it is still a struggle everyday but we took the first step together to heal both our broken hearts
2006-11-21 03:19:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your wife the two of you can get over this, and I think that now is the time that she needs your help more than ever. The fact that she has confessed to you and has booked herself into a clinic means that she really, really does want and need you. If you work together I’m sure that the two of you can do it. Go to counselling; go to the AA meetings together. I’m not saying that either of you are to blame for this, but right now I appreciate that you can’t get past the fact that she slept with another man, but it was the drink.
2006-11-21 03:49:00 · answer #2 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she can make up all the excuses to u she wants as to why she had an affair, blaming u because she says u pushed her away. she first needs to be accountable for her action, and admit she did you a wrong, not focus that it is because of u she chose to do it. one never gets past it, it's always in the mind, it always comes back whenever there is stress or problems. even if we did take them back, the marriage will never be what it was once. lack of trust, cheating, alcohol addiction, failing to take responsibility for your own actions, all leads to not really being able to get past it, and go on. we never quite know if it is a one time thing, or if everytime she get's upset, she will look for someone else to fill up her emotions. good luck with her.
2006-11-21 03:28:48 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can imagine how hurt you feel. Now that she is getting help things might get better but it will be a long struggle. I think you need to get help as well because you are the victum in this. AA have help for partners and family it might help you understand what an alcoholic goes through and how you can cope. That is if you can find it in your heart to forgive her for cheating on you.
2006-11-21 03:19:14 · answer #4 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would strongly suggest that the two of you enter marriage counseling together and talk it through. You may be able to save your marriage or you may not. But before leaving, you might want to actually uncover the reasons for the affair. Good luck.
2006-11-21 03:12:14 · answer #5 · answered by Karen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife sounds like she has some issues....she needs to get better before you know if you will be able to get over this.....
Deciding now may not be a good time...as you will end up with some unresolved issues yourself....find someone to help you though this.....support your wife, she may need....when her addiction is behind her....you will be able to make the right decision for yourself.....
Good Luck to you....it may be a long road ahead.....
2006-11-21 03:23:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is quite difficult to live with a person that is addicted to alcohol or drugs. They have to want to quit. As for the infidelity, I would never be able to get that out of my head. I think the best thing would be to support her in her recovery, but move on. Believe me, there are women out there who will appreciate what you have to offer.
2006-11-21 03:13:54 · answer #7 · answered by cold runner 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get yourselves into counseling immediately. It's definitely more than can be answered here. If you love her, and want to get past this, she needs to continue the treatment for alcohol and you both need counseling. I hope it turns out ok.
2006-11-21 03:12:02 · answer #8 · answered by UNI Panther 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this to be a fact: When a GOOD woman cheats, the man is at fault.
2006-11-21 03:18:42 · answer #9 · answered by elgil 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋