Relationship Problems?

Question

My b/f and I have been together for 3 1/2 years and own a house together.

recently we seem to have lost that "spark" and have discussed it and both feel like we aren't overly happy. we do get on well, chat and go out but there just seems to be something missing.

we want it to work out but both have doubts in case it doesn't and it's just all a waste of time.

I really don't know what to do, the thought of loosing him makes me feel like being sick, if we did split i would have to move away, what to do?

if anyone has any advice whatsoever it would be greatly appreciated, serious answers only please I'm really not in the mood for joking

Answer 1

I think we all go through periods like this. Keeping the "spark" takes work! You constantly have to be thinking of each other. Do little surprises for each other. Just a love note in a lunch can work wonders! Fill a room with lit candles and greet him at the door with only an apron on, plan a surprise weekend away. Plan a picnic on the floor in the livingroom and feed him strawberries. You have to work on making each other feel special. Make him look forward to coming home to you! Long marriages only work by doing hard work. One of the hardest is staying when you feel like walking away!!! Just means you dig in deeper and do something lovely together! Best wishes for it working out!

Answer 2

So you lost the spark....the thing to put the spark back in is change
1. change you hair style or clothes or when he comes home from work meet him at the door with no clothes on and carry a bottle of wine and two glasses.
2. take a day trip, go for a drive eat at a restaurant that you've never been to. Try something new.
3.Make the first move.
4. tell him what he wants to hear.
Just have fun act like you've never met and your on you first date. Hope this helped you out.

Answer 3

What about taking some time out from one another? Maybe one of you stays with family for a week or so. Perhaps then you will realise that you miss each other terribly or that its best? Sometimes living with someone can make you feel like this. Or if you dont want to do this then make more time to do couple things and see if you can get th spark back. Good luck.

Answer 4

aw babes poor you! well on one hand if you two have been together this long - its a good sign. Maybe the ins and outs of daily life have just gotten ye both down and you're stuck in a rut. Could you take a little holiday - just the two of ye? Breaks from routines can often do the world of good.
If not - could you do something that ye used do when ye first got together - try and rekindle that spark?
All you can do is try - if after that ye still feel the same then maybe you've just outgrown each other. xx

Answer 5

Do you think that it could possibly that you're waiting for the next thing to happen? How long have you been at this stage of your life? How long have you been living together in this "comfortable" mode.

If I were you I would see if I wanted to take it further and then, if I did, go for it righ away.

If you don't then leave. You had a good run but no sence in staying in a relationship that's going no where, eh?

Answer 6

its pretty hard to restore the spark, but once it is back, extinguishing it will be as hard as hell.. what i mean is, if both of you would give up on each other its almost as good as saying sweet goodye to all the things u planned.. besides, it is normal for couples to feel the way u do, yet they do something to win each other back. try to free your selves of all the stresses and go out together. catch a movie, drink a cup of coffee and reminice about the good old days. somehow somewhere the spark will flare up once again...

Answer 7

You need to go to counselling sessions with him if you have talked about this and nothing has changed. Have you tried bringing the spark back. How about going out on a good old fashioned date, and trying this for a few weeks before having sex again?
If there genuinely is something missing, you are unfortunately to say, wasting your time and the sooner you move on, the sooner you can both heal and find someone who you can connect with and enjoy being with for the rest of your life.
Don't stick around because you feel obliged, because you think you wont meet someone new, or because your too scared of losing your home. Think about the future.

Answer 8

"Letting go isn't about giving up. It's about accepting that there are things that cannot be."

If u think that it is the best option for u, then do not be afraid to take the chances. U're not really afraid of losing him. But you're afraid that u might regret losing what u have now.

Just remember that God have his ways to show u to the right person. Have faith n move on. God bless.

Answer 9

have a good long chat with him.

have some quality time together -just the two of you to see if you can recapture that feeling you have lost.

'date' him again - maybe meet up at the pub - rather than leaving the house together and act like you have just met. it can be laugh and sounds just like what you need.

however if things dont improve then you may need to think about moving on.

but it sounds like you can still work things out.

keep ur chin up and good luck

Answer 10

Try spicing things up like coming home @ lunch and having a quickie? Try meeting him somewhere in public in just a trench coat? Be spontaneous with your partner and do new things together like going to a toy store and finding something you both will enjoy and be open to each other. If you are not comfortable with that go on line and order something. Don't be afraid to open your self up to something dangerous and fun?

Have fun trying and Good luck!