I have been married seven years. I will soon be going out of state for a week of training with a female coworker who is a good friend but also, frankly, 5 years younger, single, very attractive and somewhat flirtatious.
I am not concerned that I will misbehave. I am not concerned that my coworker/friend will misbehave either. What I concerned about is jealousy from my wife and people starting rumors where I work. I went on a weeklong trip with her and one other female coworker 6 months ago no problems, but maybe that was because there were three of us instead of just two?
Any help here? We both do need to go on this training and it really wouldn't be professionally meaningful for anyone else here to go with us.
2006-11-21 02:40:08 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO I do NOT plan to do anything with this coworker. I am not the slightest bit concerned that either one of us will do anything inappropriate. My concern is purely for my wife's peace of mind and preventing yapping mouths at work from making things up.
2006-11-21 02:56:56 · update #1
Stay in separate hotel rooms. Do not socialize with her at the end of the workday (AT ALL).
If you must discuss business find time during the normal workday to do it (lunch, or break).
She will flirt with you, ignore it - this is real test of your strength - do it none the less.
Call your wife every night at the same time. Talking with her will re-enforce your resolve not to mess up.
If your coworker questions you about your aloofness, tell her you love and miss your wife and cannot wait to get home - this will slow her down a lot.
2006-11-21 03:00:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Same hotel, or same room? Either way, you're building this up in your head. Making a mountain out of a mole hill. Do you have any reason what so ever to make you think he will cheat? Doesn't osund like it. Oh and he didn't mention it before, Not becasue he's trying to hide something, butbecasue it is a fact that is irrelivent to his bussiness trip. Even if he did mentione it before, would that put your mind at ease or even prove taht he won't cheat? NO. He could have told you she was going right from the get go and you'd stil be insecure and peeved about it becasue she's going. And he can still cheat if he wanted to. You're making too much out of this. If you don't trust your guy, then it doesn't matter if he told you or didn't tell you. You're always gonig to think he's cheating anyway, so what difference does it make if he did tell you?
2016-05-22 06:42:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think your wife would be concerned, then take her along... if that's an option. If not, then call and talk to her every chance you get, and let her know how much you love her. As far as work goes, the first comment that you hear from someone about infidelity, set them straight on the spot. That should take care of the rumors at work right from the start.
2006-11-21 02:47:06 · answer #3 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being jealous and trust are hand in hand. Your wife may also feel insecure especially since this woman is 5 years younger. Don't try to reassure your wife unless she wants to bring it up or feels uncomfortable. She might think your planning something otherwise. If she does say something like "I have always been loyal to you and I always will. If I were to cheat I would be throwing all this away. Why would I do that?" Good luck.
2006-11-21 02:47:05 · answer #4 · answered by Your #1 fan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if the tables were turned. Would you be jealous? Take those feelings into consideration while you are on your trip. And make sure to keep in contact with your wife on your trip. That is all you can do. Oh and most importantly do not do anything stupid with your co-worker. I think you want to or you wouldn't have posted that question. Good Luck.
2006-11-21 02:53:01 · answer #5 · answered by green eyed lady 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your wife can come along then invite her. That would be the easiest solution. If she cannot then do not spend any time with your co-worker outside of the training class not even meals. As far as the gossip since the co-worker is a flirt then the tongues will wag and there is nothing you can do about that except keep your distance from her.
2006-11-21 03:12:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and explain it to your wife exactly as you told us. Open communication with your wife about this, with no secrets. Don't hold anything back from your wife (ie trip details). Be a professional about it and I think everything will be fine.
2006-11-21 02:44:57 · answer #7 · answered by HowdyThere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this were truly a "professional" business trip, you would not have any of these concerns.
Bring your wife along & there will be no gossip from anyone.
2006-11-21 03:02:11 · answer #8 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do to control what other people do or say. As far as your wife goes, you give her no reason to doubt you - meaning, you call her daily, you share your day, you leave no question unanswered, you don't get annoyed when she asks. If you handle yourself in a purely professional manner, you've done all you can. Keep your conscience clear.
2006-11-21 02:44:48 · answer #9 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a bit inappropriate if you're going to travel together from office to state to site to hotel to dinner to hotel to site every day together. I think I'd weigh the training vs. my reputation and reschedule.
2006-11-21 02:56:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋