If you have some experience with this, I would love the feedback. Been in this relationship for 7 years. I spent 4 of these years afraid and afraid to leave. I honestly felt like I could not leave. Sick of his rage, sick of being afraid, sick of working my **** off and most of the time being the only one working, tired of bailing him out of his messes, sick of his depression, sick of his rage, sick sick sick. So in June I left MY house, because he would not leave. I asked him to leave and he went back and forth and said he did not want to leave. He went to his doctor, ended up seeing a different one, found out he was not on the right meds and was bipolar. New meds completely returned him to who I once knew and he has now been seeing a therapist since June--twice a week. I find myself unable to create intimacy, angry with him, and unable to forgive him. I think I need to get out of this but before I do, has anyone been able to repair a relationship so completely broken?
2006-11-21 02:12:41 · 11 answers · asked by donewiththismess 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Life is too short to be miserable. If you are not willing to make things work and forgive then stop staying and making you both miserable.
Get out while you are still young and with the nergy to find hapiness. Life gets easier without somedy else load.
Good luck
2006-11-21 02:19:31 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't gone through this myself,But I have a friend who is basically going through the same thing you have and still are going through,Her husband is abusive,and for a while she stayed with him out of fear to,then finally she left one day,He would go and beg her to come back home make all these empty promises,he'd start going to church went to the doctor got on med's the whole nine yards,she went back to him,needless to say they separate more than they stay together,and they are not able to mend any of their relationship,you can't take back the hurt,once you have said or done things against people I'm sorry doesn't take it away,It will always be there and build up on you until it breaks you down.If You are going to try to stay in this relationship I would suggest you both getting counseling,good luck hope all works out for you.
2006-11-21 10:29:51 · answer #2 · answered by crystal powell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you just told the story of my relationship with my 'ex-husband'! I went through alot of the same things you described, but I had two children by him. I didn't just say okay I am done and divorced him. I went through counseling, marriage and personal for a year to try to resolve. The fact was, I was miserable and the years of dealing with this man had taken a toll on my self-esteem. The resentment was irreversible for me. The minute I filed for divorce, he did a complete turn-around, but it was a little too late and no matter what he did or who he was trying to be, I couldn't forgive him for wasted years. Fast forward 10 years.....he is now someone else's nightmare and he is repeating the same pattern with her. In hindsight, the years without him have been the best of my life!!! Go with your instincts, they will never let you down.
2006-11-21 10:29:50 · answer #3 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get OUT and read the book "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beattie. Find some 12 step meetings on Codependency. Look up the traits of codependency on the internet.
2006-11-21 10:42:30 · answer #4 · answered by :-) literary cappy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think you guys both need to go to something along the line of couple counseling because if he is doing what he can to save the relationship I think you need to at least try too. Good Luck
2006-11-21 10:16:55 · answer #5 · answered by Kat A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes me!!! i have had years of hell but i find that i couldn't leave a broken man. My husband is in counseling twice a week for his depression and compulsive lying. It is slowly getting better. I know i love him. Are you in danger??? if you are leave, if your not give him a chance, now that he is in therapy who knows what might happen. Give him a go!!! I suggest you go along to counseling for your hurt as well.
2006-11-21 10:23:23 · answer #6 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is do you WANT to repair this relationship?
If you do open your eyes and realise exactly what you are taking on. Also take it very slowly one day at a time.
Sorry but this has to be your choice!
2006-11-21 10:19:07 · answer #7 · answered by multiflowercolour 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some things can't be fixed. If you have been emotionally beaten to a pulp, you can't take a chance-- you're just sick and tired and mentally exhausted. You're depleted and need time to recover.
2006-11-21 10:18:09 · answer #8 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be willing to give him another chance. It seems he is trying by going to dctor and counseling. But, in your hrart, you have to make the decision if you loe hime enough to go on - if not, and it is your house, he will have to leave
2006-11-21 10:26:08 · answer #9 · answered by Sandy R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like YOU need to make such a decision on your own.
Whatever YOU believe YOU need to do for YOU to be NOT sick any longer.
2006-11-21 10:17:03 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋