Traditionally, I have spent the last 14 years preparing the meal for my entire family and for the past 3 years, my boyfriend and his daughter has celebrated with us. I love this holiday and all of the preparation and time spent with family. My boyfriends family either go visit extended family or vacation during the holiday. However, one week before Thanksgiving, his family has decided they will be celebrating at home this year. I would not mind sharing this day, but they have scheduled the meal within an hour of mine with no compromise. I have 14 people in my family that would have to completely change their schedule to accomodate his family of 6. I feel this was unfair since they planned this on the spur of the moment and mine was planned a month in advance. How do we handle this without completely ruining everyone's day?
2006-11-21 02:11:05 · 12 answers · asked by stacey h 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Thanksgiving
I agree that because you already made plans, and have preparred for the festivities at your home, he, or his parents, should not expect you to change this (with no thought of the quantity of people at each location). As couples, these things must be discussed and planned in advance to avoid problems. You be sincere, without argument, and explain that you can prepare a schedule of when you will spend Thanksgiving at who's house. It sucks when there is conflice (as I am experiencing the same this year), but all you can do is try and be the adult. Good luck.
2006-11-21 02:28:15 · answer #1 · answered by straightup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't your boyfriend go his way and you go yours? Most people can't have their own way all the time. If his family is staying home, I dont see why they have to schedule their meal around when you are having yours. Do you really think they went out of their way to plan their meal to try to ruin yours??
I really don't see the big deal here. Have your dinner and let your boyfriend see his family. I don't see how the day will be ruined just because he will be with his family for a few hours.
2006-11-21 02:24:50 · answer #2 · answered by KathyS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just keep your plans the same....you had this planned prior and they should understand that. Just go and visit them after you finish up w/your Thanksgiving. I had the same problem when I first got married...we just go to my side of the family and then go to my husbands side later.....this year, his side of the family has finally realized that everyone has other houses to go to, so they planned the Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday, so things work out better, because they would like to have everyone together.
2006-11-21 02:43:10 · answer #3 · answered by buckeyefever7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only six of them i would get on the phone with them and point out the scheduling of both of you,the few of the them and how it would benefit all if everyone would meet at the larger environment.Do point out first how appreciative you are for the invite also without harshness this has been your tradition for a number of years and that ther's was a last minute thing.that you are not trying to cause any discension between the families.
2006-11-21 02:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think since you have so many people, and you already had plans, his family should try to be understanding. Just go about your day as planned and then either invite his family over afterwards, or go over to their house. Sucks that they had to go and do this, you'd think they'd have some common sense to NOT ruin your thanksgiving with your family!
2006-11-21 02:20:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you suggest his family join yours? That would be nice. But if they aren't willing to give....I say you have the ball in your court. I would have my meal at my house as planned, and if there is enough time later in the evening, I would then stop by at their house....just to show you are making an effort and that you are thinking about them on the holiday.
But it would be really nice if they would make it to your house with their family....that way everyone would be together!
2006-11-21 02:17:28 · answer #6 · answered by amanda r 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't go to anyone house. I always do it in my house and invite everyone hers and mine. They always look forward to that as I cook everything and my turkeys, I've heard, are always the best they have ever tasted.
My brother moved back to town after being away for almost 18 years and he had to come to my house because I would not do Thanksgiving at his. He is coming too!
2006-11-21 02:18:03 · answer #7 · answered by Billie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue with your plans for dinner. How about arranging to get together for dessert? That way, you can spend time together and nobody would have to give up their plans for dinner.
I always hated when my brother and his wife would have to go to 4 dinners for various members of HER family. They would come to my parents house absolutely stuffed and picked at a few pieces of food. I would have rather that they didn't come instead of postponing our dinner while waiting for them and then insulting the cook by picking at a small plate of food.
2006-11-21 02:29:29 · answer #8 · answered by lizzzg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Eat your meal at home then visit his family afterwards.
2006-11-21 02:13:58 · answer #9 · answered by Frank R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hubby and I go to my family's first, early, then to his for the rest of the day.
2006-11-21 03:02:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋