2006-11-21 01:52:25 · 34 answers · asked by norcalygaly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What, are you going to hold out for another 10!?!?!?!?
Run the other way and don't stop. He's never going to make the committment. Even if he were to marry you just to "get you off his case," it still wouldn't be genuine.
My cousin was in this kind of relationship. Nicest guy EVER. He said that he wanted to get married and have kids one day. Well, six years after dating, she finally asked HIM and he said, "Maybe in a couple of years I can think about settling down." They were living together and playing house, so what would settling down mean???
2006-11-21 01:55:45 · answer #1 · answered by It's Me 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have been waiting for over ten years you are a very patient woman. VERY!
This man must have a motto. "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free" And NO I am not calling you a cow.
If you really want to get married you need to find someone that is of like mind. For him to say someday for that long is so lame it is beyond even most guys. If your happy with your arrangement then just enjoy it because you will be doing it for quite some time.
Of course you will wake up one day 40 plus and still not married.
2006-11-21 02:18:57 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assuming that the relationship is pretty good, I would wonder why he will not commit. Or, why you want to commit in this way.
My question is this, "Is marriage the deal breaker here?" If you would end a relationship of 10 years based on Yahoo Answers, then that relationship is already in trouble. You may be looking for validation for your decision to end it.
I have been married and divorced twice. At 54 I have made a conscious decision to remain single and to not live with a man.
If marriage is important to you, and he seems to push it off, you mght consider having an appointment with a good counselor. It would be well worth the money. The counselor will help the two of you communicate what is really going on.
2006-11-21 01:59:13 · answer #3 · answered by Linda R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to answer some questions for yourself. You said you want to be married... Do you want to be married to him? Are you in love with him? Is he the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with? Or, do you just want to be married? If you are in love with him and you honestly believe he is the one for you, then you can force the issue.
Tell him, that you are breaking it off until he can figure out what he wants to do in life. Tell him you are not going out looking, but that you are not going to keep being "a wife" without "being a wife". It really blows my mind that women will give a guy everything and do everything that a wife would and then wonder why he will not ask her to marry him. Why should he, he gets all the benefits, but does not have to commit and he has an escape if he ever feels he needs one. Shoot, if a car dealer gave you the keys to a car and said that all you had to do was pay for the gas and maintain it, why would you sign a contract or make payments on it? No reason to and if the dealer ever started being ugly, you could just drop the car off and you are free and clear... Tell him if he wants you, then he needs to show you, but until you are Mrs. Whatever there is no more...
2006-11-21 02:40:22 · answer #4 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Over ten years and he still has not married you? Here is my advice to you. Tell him you want to "take a break". Go out on a few dates. If he is serious about you, he will come running with the ring when he sees that he is not your only option. He is comfortable, complacant, and taking you for granted in a big way. He needs a wake-up call, girl. If he doesn't respond or if it is ok with him if you date other people, then you know this is not going anywhere. But, at least you would know and you could move on. Good Luck.
2006-11-21 01:56:13 · answer #5 · answered by Lotus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps. First you need to consider the legalities of your situation.
If you have lived together for awhile then your state may consider you married already. Therefore any dispute over your moving out might have to be taken care of in court.
Secondly you need to consider your comfort zone. Your situation is unique and if you are confortable with everything but 'marriage' then you might want step back and look at the bigger picture.
Ten years is a long investment in lives, and things.
2006-11-21 02:27:59 · answer #6 · answered by clic1_0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. If you both want different things, even in timescale, I would move on. Period. Ten years can become twenty can become never. Plus, if he really wanted to be with you and have the committment, he wouldn't wait ten years. Guys are as sillly as girls are about these things, especially when they doubt.
I see this as a deal breaker dear. It hurts, but finding someone else is your best option.
2006-11-21 01:55:47 · answer #7 · answered by Thera 9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first it would depend on the history of yourselves and your relationship. i was with my husband for 10 yrs before we got married(now married for 5 yrs-16yrs all together) and there were circumstances behind his not wanting to get married for a long time-he was married once before and the woman was very difficult and there was a child involved-nasty-bitter break-up.the 7th year is the hardest they say and in our case that was also true but if you really love each other and when the time is right for BOTH of you it will happen.in short:go:with your heart and with what you already know about one another and you'll find your own answer
2006-11-21 02:49:00 · answer #8 · answered by kris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes 10 years is too long to wait for someone to finally decide you are worth it. He is stringing you along.. Get out now before you waste your whole life waiting for him to pop the question. Maybe if you do leave, he'll finally wake up and realize he wants you around forever, then again maybe he wont even notice you're gone... Whatever the case, just leave. You'll realize you are a lot happier for not staying with someone who doesnt share the same ideas for the future that you do.
2006-11-21 01:59:13 · answer #9 · answered by Caitlin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he didn't pop the question after a year or two, he isn't going to. TEN years? Getting through to you must be like driving a dull nail through a thick plank. Do you want to buy some ocean-front property in Kansas?
Leave; at least you won't have to keep washing his dirty socks.
2006-11-21 02:00:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anne Jovie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋