I am in a situation very much like Qwerty who posted only a few days ago that his wife did not want to have her own children, only to adopt. When my wife and I married we agreed on children, i wanted 3 and she wanted 2 (not too far off). I conceded to 2 and after a few years we began to talk about adoption, for all the reasons that adoption is good, but i always maintained i wanted at least one of our own. She has subsequently annnouced she will only adopt. She said she doesn't want to put her body through pregnancey when she is perfectly happy to adopt. I can only respect her personal choice, its her body after all. The problem is, i have always wanted one of my own. I have read a lot about adoption and along with other issues, it is not unusual to experience grief over your unborn children. So my question is to people who wanted to have their own, but could not for whatever reason. Do you eventually forget wondering about having one of your own?
2006-11-21 01:44:36 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My wife and I went through something similar. I was not against adopting at all but I definitely wanted at least one of my own. Same as you, before marriage we agreed on 2 kids. When she told me she was thinking about not having any and only adopting, I told her that wasn't fair because we agreed before marriage that we would have 2. So after much discussion of her and my feelings, she agreed to have one and then we adopted one. Worked out great!!! To tell you the truth, if she would not have decided to have one, at the time I would have left her. Of course after adopting my son, I don't see how I ever thought that way.
2006-11-21 01:54:23 · answer #1 · answered by Jon O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is being selfish. I marriage its 2 people and both of you should make the decision, I agree, its her body, but her excuses are lame. Pregnancy it’s the most beautiful experience ever, feeling a life growing inside of you. If you want kids of your own don’t give up, later on you will regret it. Adopting is helping kids I agree but having your own, a little peace of you its a experience that I cant explain..
2006-11-21 01:52:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
How about hiring a surrogate mother to give birth to your own child, which you and your wife then adopt?
2006-11-21 01:48:19 · answer #3 · answered by finaldx 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Once you adopt, the child IS "your own".
2006-11-21 01:46:12 · answer #4 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋