WIll being honest make me appear disloyal to my husband?

Question

My husband has a terrible work schedule which I dissagree with on many levels. Good jobs are not terribly hard to come by where I live, and with our connections. When friends ask me, "Why would your husband work there, does he just really love that job?" I want to say, "I think he just doesn't realize his own worth enough to know how much a better job he could get." But would that statement show that I am unsupportive of my husband? If I couldn't say that, I would genuinely be at a loss for how to answer.

Answer 1

If it wouldn't be for my wife taking the initiative I would still be in a job that i felt really comfortable with but wasn't very good pay and the hours sucked,She posted my resume on Monster with out me knowing.And all of the sudden I started getting all these job offers in my email,It made me feel so good to know that things could be much better and that my skills could be in such demand.It made me realize my potential, and things are much better now.Doing something like this would show your husband that you have confidence in him,and that he can do it.There's nothing wrong with you interfering in his life,after all you are part of it and it can be good for both of you!Good Luck!(do it)

Answer 2

I have an analogy that I'd like you to ponder.......let me make some quick changes here. Maybe if you re-examine your question with my additions you might get the answer you're looking for. Ready? okay...here we go..... My husband is Jewish and I have been married for three years and I love him very much. He is a great provider and I want to be the mother of his children when he is ready. My problem is that lately his job has been very difficult for him. It is his first career job since we graduated college and he likes it overall. But his boss whose name is Adolf Hitler has been very difficult with him and often makes him feel like he is not doing well enough. I was very angry with this man given the stories my husband had told me but since I met him in April I found him very attractive. I have been thinking about him a lot and I feel strange about this. I still think he is a bad boss who takes advantage of my Jewish husband but I feel bad that I felt the way I did and that I have been thinking about him so much. Why do I feel this way? Am I being disloyal to my husband? Does this help. Mind you this may be to the extreme but isn't your present situation no less the same? I hope you see my point.

Answer 3

I say just leave it alone. Maybe he is happy there. A person has to be happy where they work, or they won't be there very long. My mom doesn't like the fact that I work retail, because it is below HER social standards.She would rather I work a high profile job dealing with high profile people, making high profile dollars. But, I like my job, I like most of the people there, and I make decent money. I have a job where I can easily move into management positions and make even more money. It almost sounds to me like you would rather have him in a job that meets YOUR standards when HE is the one that has to be there everyday. Ask him why he works there, what it is about it that he likes so much. Then just let it rest. Don't pressure him into changing something that he may be happy with. Tell your friends that he is happy there. If they are his friends, too, they will be OK with it. If they are your friends, they shouldn't worry about it. It isn't their business.

Answer 4

Apparently your husband likes his job. He is the one that needs to go to it, so I dont think you should hound him or anything. When they ask just say "he must because I know he could do better." Who really cares what your friends think anyways it isnt your job. You are basically saying the same thing and I dont think the statement is negative or unsupportive at all, it is just saying you have faith in him and know he can get a better job.

Answer 5

I think you need to let your husband know your true feelings about his job and work habits first. Then what you discuss with others about how you feel would not be disloyal. If you would like your husband to pursue another job or even career maybe you just need to discuss that with him and tell him you would support him with finding another job. Let him know how valuable you think he is in the work force, boost his confidants. Sometimes we get so comfortable doing a job, we don't look for another because there is no reason to better ourselves. Sometimes we just need a little push...

Answer 6

You should tell him what you think....cos, you are now the each other half ("for better and for worst", right? Only this time is " for better". There is nothing wrong by telling someone that, for you, he worth much more than the value given by the "society" to him, on the contrary.... And then, I guess he will give an answer/s to the question/s you have in mind...

Answer 7

Why do u not assist him to find one? Further when u communicate ur views to ur husband, where is the question of loyalty or disloyalty. He may, however, not like to use ur connections to get a job. It is always better to work with strangers in stead of known connections.

Answer 8

Let me just start by saying that you are supposed to be your mans best friend, so my advice to you is if you want to stay with him very long you better learn to speak to that ego. The ego is very sensitive and you have to be very careful, you don't want him to think that you think hes a loser. Stroke the ego, tell him how great he is and how they just don't know what they have, make it HIS idea to get a new job. sound complicated, it is and well worth it. If you learn to stroke a mans ego, you could literally rule him.

Answer 9

you would say, that your husbands choice of a job is his and not yours - any more than he should choose your job. He obviously has his reasons for staying there and it sure as heck isn't any business of your friends. The discussion should be between you and your husband and not between you and friends.

Answer 10

Be glad your husband is working..tell them hes working there to in hope that the place will be sold,or until he can can make a difference in the company ...or tell them he sees something in the company and you can not explain it....