my wife is upset because i did not consult her first. we have a very healthy bank account and can easily afford to help her 21 year old sister her first car. i say that i have a heart of gold and my wife says that i betrayed her by offering our hard earned money without asking her. please vote and decide. we have always helped her family in the past, but not this amount. let me know!
2006-11-21 01:24:19 · 26 answers · asked by _ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my thought... you cant take it with you... life is a big ball of karma... you wife will get over it... tell her not to be so selfish... i totatly understand that they you both work for a living but if you dont give anything back at some point that will catch up with you... if she really has a problem with it but make sure its only 'your hard earned' cash being used...
2006-11-21 01:34:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
I guess my question would be; why would you not have discussed this with your wife in the 1st place? Afterall, she is your wife, secondly it is her sister that you helped out without her knowledge.
You may have a healthy bank account now; but years to come you won't with this kind of "heart of gold" attitude.
Another point; How is this 21 y/o expected to pay this kind of money back? Is it considered a gift or a loan? In any event, there will be hard feelings either way.
Use your head sir. Money within your marriage belongs to you and your wife. Not, you and your "heart of gold" and another person.
P.S. That constitutes betrayal.
2006-11-21 09:51:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Im with your wife on this one!! It isnt like you spoted her $20 dollars or something. It is a lot of money and you really had no right to give it away without her input. Yes it is heart felt, but by doing it you were inconciderat to your wife. I dont care how much money is in your account. And why would your sister-in-law ask you for $ and not your wife. Strange. Did she know she would say no or use it agianst her or something. Or is it that you offered the money on your own to be nice.
2006-11-21 09:35:19 · answer #3 · answered by runzwsizorz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should have consulted with your wife about you wanting to help your sister-in-law. The reason why she's upset about this whole situation is because you did not consider her opinion. In the future remember you guys are a team and you don't work alone.
2006-11-21 09:39:51 · answer #4 · answered by pradavee 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
With money like that, yes you should have consulted her first. Then perhaps both spoken with her sister in regards to how she can repay you (not necessarily with money). If it was $200 then okay not so bad but $2,000 is a family decision. Although it was a nice gesture, what if your wife was expecting a child and hadn't told you yet and was planning on using that money towards the baby?? You see what I mean? Next time, sit down and talk with her if it's over $500...just out of respect for her.
2006-11-21 09:29:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
your Wife Is Right. You should Have Talked To Her Before You Offered To Help.
2006-11-21 09:54:31 · answer #6 · answered by bob r 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you had all of the right intentions but your wife is right if you both have earned this money then you both should decide where it goes.... you should have at least told her you want ed to give her little sister the money. And she should relax a little bit because obviously you have enough to spare and it was for family....
2006-11-21 09:27:29 · answer #7 · answered by :)*taurus tease*(: 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is right, she deserves to be consulted on money decisions before you sign the check. I must say it's a little suspicious her own sister would go to you first before her to begin with. No wonder she feels icky about things that went on behind her back.
2006-11-21 09:41:40 · answer #8 · answered by SayWhat? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your wife has the right to know what is going on with the family finances since SHE is your partner in the family. You should have consulted her on the matter. That doesn't mean she doesn't want you to help your sister it means SHE expected to be in on the decision to do so.
2006-11-21 09:27:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you were wrong to help your sister in law. But you should have discussed it with your wife first. Just tell her that you are sorry you didn't talk to her about it first, and the next time there is an issue involving...say $500 (or whatever y'all decide is reasonable) or more, y'all can talk about it first before either of you do it.
2006-11-21 10:26:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should have discussed the idea first with your wife. Was she aware that your sister in law was looking to buy a car? Or did you discuss in private with s/i/l? $2,000. is a lot of money regardless of who you are giving it to. Your sister in law is an adult and, I take it, on her own. You need to invest in your own future. Seriously, do you have ulterior motives. Just a question.
2006-11-21 09:34:12 · answer #11 · answered by nanny4hap 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋