Distant tremors fill my heart
as I think of us being apart.
Solitude I dare not bare
Lonliness most unfair
Holding your hand is my hearts rejoice
And being beside you is my best choice.
I'll fight for our passionate exotic embrace
I'll fight for our love no man can take
I wrote this poem off the top of my head. Can I have some comments or suggestions? Do you think I am a born writer?
2006-11-21 01:22:34 · 10 answers · asked by askandilltell 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
its cute. good job!
2006-11-21 01:30:19 · answer #1 · answered by Miki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anyone can crown you a "born writer" based on one poem, but it is pretty good.
Your best bet is to write more and more, and join an open mic night OR creative writing group. If you like coffee, the houses in any decent sized city offer both!
Good luck!
2006-11-21 09:26:26 · answer #2 · answered by sakicfriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i respond with my own poem
Love
Love is so hard to find
but it seems that you don't mind
and I always think of you
but I don't even have a sou*
but you really don't care
someone in heaven made this pair
I love you and you love me
this is plain for all to see
once found, love is bliss
I'm so glad you didn't miss
You caught me in quite a bind
It is you I could not find
I'm so grateful that you're here
I wish that I was a seer
I thought I was going to die
but then you found me tonight
my reaction to you was mixed
but my broken life is fixed
Thanks to you, my love.
--Tyler Nelson
2006-11-21 09:40:17 · answer #3 · answered by tn5421 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your poems fine I like things that have a ryme.
2006-11-21 09:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by fallen_guitar09 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not bad....a great way to express yourself. keep writing and start a journal....you will be surprised in ten fifteen years to go back and read what you've written.
good luck
2006-11-21 09:33:34 · answer #5 · answered by seabreeze951 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds good i like but im no famous person so i dont really know dat much lol but I really like it :)
2006-11-24 23:10:40 · answer #6 · answered by nature_warior 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it. Nice job.
2006-11-21 09:25:35 · answer #7 · answered by David B. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really good, maybe you can add something else or change for example:
i will fight for our love that nobody can take from us...............
but yours is very good...................................¡¡¡
2006-11-21 09:33:35 · answer #8 · answered by Santo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bravo!
2006-11-21 09:29:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm...not bad...
2006-11-21 09:27:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋