Ok, here is the question.. My husbands ex wife when she comes to our home to pick up the kids- always comes into my house , uses the bathroom and wanders around. I dont think she has any right whatsoever to be in my home!!!! She always seems to do this when my husband is at work.. There is alot of animosity right now because my husband and her are going through court proceedings because she has refused to pay child support for the last year.. So it is not a very friendly atomosphere... Am I wrong to think she should not be coming in my home? I dont say anything because of the kids, but I think something needs to be done and I dont see why she cant just drive a few blocks to the store to use a public bathroom!!! Am I just being Petty?
2006-11-21 01:16:41 · 20 answers · asked by luckygirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
tell her clearly what you feel.....and try to find out that does she still have any attachment with her ex husband
2006-11-21 01:19:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a couple of options in dealing with her. She seems to be challenging your authority in your own home and acting like she is the queen bee and that you do not have the sand to say squat to her about it. She knows you are in a tight spot with the children being there and will probably not say a word with them there. No doubt she is also looking around to see what is there, what kind of things you and your husband have and can use that information later if necessary. Here are a couple of ideas that you can try that may get your point across without being ugly and making yourself look petty.
One, you can go over to her house to pick up the kids and do the very same thing at her house that she does at yours. Just walk in, go to the bathroom and wander around. Pick up things and look at them and tell her how nice they look or ask her where she got them. If that is too much for you to do, then you can try something a little less bold.
The next time she comes over to pick up the kids, let her come in, have coffee on and offer her a cup of coffee. If she starts to wander around, ask her if she would like a quick tour of the house. Show her around, let her see that your are proud of your home that you and your husband have made together. Show her the kids rooms, your and your husbands bedroom, accidently leave a neglige hanging on the bed post. She will either take the tour and you can just show her like you would your best friend, be happy and excited about everything, but do not be intimidated by her at all. Make her feel like her being in your home is in no way effecting you. Oh, and make sure there is no toilet paper in the bathroom that she just goes in and uses. Make her have to ask for it after she has gone to the bathroom and then you can take your time getting some while she just sits and drips...
I can promise you, that if you just welcome her in and offer to show her around since she seems to want to see your home and act all friendly to her, she will be seething inside and she will not be able to say anything, because the kids are there.
2006-11-21 02:26:15 · answer #2 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you're in the right. It's your home and if I were in your place, I would have a nice talk with her about wandering around and using your bathroom. It's good that you are trying to be civil because if the kids, but honestly, if you want something to get done, you're going to have to speak up. Talk to your husband first, then tell her next time she decides to invade your space "Excuse me, you don't live here,"
2006-11-21 01:49:19 · answer #3 · answered by ruthie_richardson 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your being petty, just tired of all the problems. My ex also comes in and uses my bathroom and acts like he owns the place. I let him b/c he lives three hours away - but I feel like you do, go use a public restroom. I try to get along for my daughter, but there is only so much one can take. Try to "bear it". If you say anything, she'll know it bothers you and she'll do even more - just to irritate. Good luck with everything. I wish you the best.
2006-11-21 01:22:37 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a personal stand point, I am going through this myself. No, I dont go in my ex's house when I get the kids because I am not very fond of either of them. But, I honestly dont think that you have the right to say anything to her for the simple fact it is not your place too. Your husband needs to say something to her because after all they are his kids and it is his 1st wife. If he chooses not to say anything then your problem is not her it is him. Remember they have a bond that you cant break no matter what they are going through in court. Trust me, it is not going to be pretty if you say something to her right now or ever for that matter.
2006-11-21 02:46:49 · answer #5 · answered by me2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u write back U are simply playing the game tht the X wants U 2. U are bending to her level & U are a better woman then that! But I would keep the msg just in case it is needed for a later court date (2 show what kind of woman she REALLY is). I get tht from the hubby's X ALL the time! She throws the fact tht they have kids & she is the mother of his kids in his face all the time! And how she will always b their mother...etc...etc! Some women simply cannot get over the fact tht the X has moved on to some1 200% then they ever hoped to b! Don't bend to her level! Ignore here! That will piss her off even more then if U answer her!
2016-03-29 04:08:57 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right!!, she has no right to come into your house let alone using your bathroom. Tell her from now on just ring the door bell and the kids will be ready to come out to meet her. She is doing this on purpose. Speak to your husband, ask him to tell her what the rules are when picking up the children. Good luck
2006-11-21 01:27:38 · answer #7 · answered by angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your HUSBAND needs to tell her that when she comes to pick up the children she is to either wait outside, in her car, or just inside the doorway to your home. She does not have the right to snoop, and it is your husbands place to tell her these things not your's. IF he refuses then you have a problem with HIM not his ex.
2006-11-21 01:29:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has no respect for you at all why she comes and goes inside your house when she feels like it. Next time ask her to wait outside while the kids get ready Im sure she will get the message next time. Your house so you have to speak up especially when your always alone when she does this or she wont stop!
2006-11-21 01:24:12 · answer #9 · answered by Damzel in distrust 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to relax, she now your husband exwife. When she comes over to pick up the kids, let her wait in the porch. if she need to use the bath room let her, but when you know she all most finish.... go ask her if she o.k. then direct her back to the porch.....if you have every thing in order when she comes to pick up the kids she not wonder all over the house.....
2006-11-21 01:23:36 · answer #10 · answered by *Cutie* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's being nosy. Next time she asks to use your bathroom, tell her, "Oh, it's broken, but the store up the street has a nice restroom." You don't HAVE to be nice to her, you know. Just be civil.
2006-11-21 01:20:33 · answer #11 · answered by Lotus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋