Girls who have miscarriages please answer?

Question

When you miscarried, did your partner suddenly became distant from you and did you break up. If so, do you know ehy. This happened to me and im confused. He was ok at the start when we found out then suddenly he backed off

Answer 1

I know you asked for girls but...
My wife miscarried about 8 years ago and I can't begin to guess how hard it was for her or you for that matter, but at the time I felt helpless. As a man you don't know what to say, if you say it's OK we'll try again it feels like we are dismissing the miscarriage. If you break down and blub you feel like you are letting down your partner because we are told 'to be strong for her.'
It took about two weeks after my wife came home before I broke down in front of my wife and I felt guilty for doing, so give him time.

Answer 2

Honey, I'm very sorry, both for your loss and for the way your partner is treating you.

I miscarried my first pregnancy last year and was devastated. I am so thankful for my husband - my rock and source of strength. Without him, I don't know what I would have done.

I can think of only two explanations for your partner's response:
1. He doesn't know how to handle the loss, and, since you had a stronger tie to the baby than he did, he's not sure what the right thing to do is. It''s sad, but a lot of people become distant when they hear of such a loss because they think there is nothing they can do or say to help so they feel very awkward.

2. He got scared by your pregnancy and wasn't sure he was ready for such a new role. Now that he's had a chance to "try it out," he's decided it's not what he wants and the two of you are, therefore, "not on the same page."

In either case, you need to focus on you right now. Give yourself time to grieve and take stock in your life. Easier said than done, I know, but each day will get easier. You will get through this, and if the two of you were meant to be together, then it will happen.

God bless.

Answer 3

My partner did not leave me but things did become very strained for a while.
I am very sorry for your loss and I know just how you are feeling .
It is easy for people to understand when your baby dies but when you have a miscarriage that was your baby, unfortunately not everyone can understand, you felt the baby inside you your partner did not, It would have been different if he had seen , held or felt that baby.
I lost mine on valentines day over 20 years ago and on the 28th Feb I still feel that loss. Born or not it was my baby, at only ten weeks I hadn't had a scan or felt it move, I don;'t even know what sex my baby was but only I have that feeling.
Maybe your partner is struggling with understanding, give him time , maybe he feels a loss too and will come back when he has time to come to terms with it. Maybe he is confused about his feelings and just needs time to think
If he doesn't return then perhaps he was not the man you thought he was anyway

I wish you all the best for the future and hope you get the family you want.
I now have three children ( aged 19, 15 and 11) and a beautiful grandaughter. So never give up I am sure it will happen for you too.

Answer 4

I am terrible sorry for your lose. I know exactly how you feel. You will be fine when some time will pass.
my husband was supportive at the hospital and doctor appointments but I still didn't understand him. Maybe I was picking on him. I also told him that he doesn't care. Maybe I wanted him to cry with me. His answer would be: I was really scared something will happen to you.
But on the other hand he is doing his best so i will get pregnant again. vitamins, no alcohol etc.
So i was wrong and it took a month to notice it.
Sometimes he told me it will be another time. Also I used to be angry at him. Because I wanted the one i lost.
I don't think you will break up. You need to talk him and open your heart but don't expect men to cry. he is grieving in his own way.
Best of luck

Answer 5

Hi There,

Sometimes men really don't know how to handle things like this. I m/c a few years back and everyone fussed around me asking how I was and taking care of me and no-one really spoke to my husband, as if they weren't aware that this had affected him too. Your partner is grieving in much the same way you are and people react to grief differently, his way may be to distance himself and have some time alone. You may find this changing and you could be stronger that ever or it may not work out. but I am sure you will be strong enough to get through this.

Losing a baby is one of the hardest things any person will ever have to deal with and it's important just now that you look after yourself.

My partner and I did get through our loss together and we are a stronger couple because of it.

I hope things do work out for you

Answer 6

Men many times do not know how to act or be sensitive to situations. It could be that even though you misscarried, you could still be going through post partum depression, and he is going on with his life like nothing happened. This could be making you insecure because you want him to sympathize with you and he just isnt.

The other reason could be that the pregnancy scared him, and although he was ok with you being pregnant, the misscarriage made him realize how close to real commitment of a family he was and so he is backing away because he is afraid of commitmnt to a family.

Either way, I would talk to him and open the lines of communicaton. That is the best.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Hi, first of all, I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost five babies to miscarriage, and its a dreadful thing to have to go through. My husband was distant and backed away. I took it as a rejection, although perhaps we all deal with grief differently. He and I are no longer together, but for other reasons, although I think that the rot began in our relationship when he was not available and not able to talk to me about his feelings. I felt that I was left to deal with it alone, and that I was not given any support. I hope that you will move on from this as I have and find someone more able to express how he feels and understand how you feel. Take care of yourself

Answer 8

When i suffered Miscarriage, my boyfriend was so upset he cried for a few days, then we talked about it, and decided that "it was meant to be" so we started trying again & now "we" might be pregnant again.
Sometimes me find it difficult to show their feelings and emotions and some men get scared easily by things they dont understand, leave him to his own devices for a while, he might come round eventually, if he doesnt then you need to question whether your relationship was strong enough to last the distance with a child or not!

Good Luck Hun XxxX

Answer 9

hi i was in the same situation as you i have been with my partner for nearly two years, when i was first pregnant he wanted me to get rid of it because he said it will destroy our lives. After it happend we became really distant from 0ne another that was a couple of months ago we are still together. if you want to contact me my email address is [e-mail] hoped this helps.

Answer 10

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