I am a guy that has always pushed people away my whole life. Even when I was a kid, instead of going outside and playing with the other kids around the neighborhood, I would rather stay at home and watch TV. When the kids would come and ask if I could come outside, I would ask my mom to tell them I was on punishment. I avoided people all my life. I would not study with people in College. I would not go to parties and the friends that I did have I would not call for months and months at a time. I even have not called my best friend since he was the best man at my wedding, 5 YEARS ago.
2006-11-21 00:40:18 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
So you want to make friends now because you feel lonely .... does this about sum it up?
Start slow; call your "best" friend and arrange a lunch. During lunch tell your friend what you've told all of us and ask for his help in getting you out more socially.
Or, make new friends. Go to an event where people are put together by common interest - a book club, gardening club, whatever you are interested in.
Since you've spent your life being alone, here's a rule to being a friend that will help - show interest in the other person, the friendship isn't all about you! Ask questions about their life, most people love to share stories of their lives; after all, they want to share themselves too!
2006-11-21 00:50:08 · answer #1 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever considered getting professional help?
I mean, I don't know where you're problem is routed, but maybe you've got a psychological disorder or some kind of slowly increasing depression. Which wouldn't be anything to be ashamed of. Maybe you're perfectly healthy and just not a very communicative character, but to check that out, I would go and see a psychiatrist or psychologist. If you had a depression, it would be quite easy for them to help you with behavioural therapy maybe in combination with medication, or they can try to find out what's wrong with you and develop a plan to help you.
Of course it could also be, that you are just not good in keeping social contacts, in which case you weren't ill, but just unsatisfied with a trait, that is part of your character.
In that case I would say, go and call that friend now. Procrastinating never helps!!!! Tomorrow the burden would only be bigger than today and even worth the day after. That would be a first step to break that vicious circle.
You would be suprised how many of your friends have probably been wondering about you and would just be happy to hear from you. Of course, there is always a chance, than one or another odd person won't be impressed and ask you what you were thinking not to call them for ages, but don't let that demotivate you.
Think of your own stregths, don't think of your weak points, every one in a bad mood tends to see only what he dislikes about himself, don't let that mood mislead you! You're for sure as good as anyone else. So think about the things you like about yourself and how they could enrich or help other people.
You can play an instrument take lessons or try to join a band or something. You love the movies go and chat about the movies online and make a date with some people to watch the newest film you all like. Sometimes the internet can lower the burden of approaching people in real life, but don't hesitate after a while to suggest to really meet. Of course it would be best to got to some regional chat rooms.
But just try to talk to someone professional about your problem, these people are very discrete. Obviously this situation has been bothering you for quite a while and I think it is important for you to find out whether you are a bit ill, like a social phobia or a depression or if you only need to practice your communication skills and habits.
Good luck:-)
2006-11-21 09:07:37 · answer #2 · answered by ebilginoglu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've suffered from social anxiety most of your life and now it's leading to depression. Find a counselor. If you want to change you can. Can your wife help you out???
2006-11-21 09:33:25 · answer #3 · answered by eightieschic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to go talk with a therapist. This is too deep to hash it out online with whoever has a modem and a few free minutes.
2006-11-21 08:44:56 · answer #4 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try doing other activities, maybe sports, or find a hobby that let's you participate with other people.
2006-11-21 08:44:53 · answer #5 · answered by Roberto 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be yourself and dont sweat what other people think
2006-11-21 08:42:28 · answer #6 · answered by bradthepilot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋