well first you should know that my dad it one of the persons that think females are everything and females are the best...second i live in a coumnity of only 800 people. my dad always talks about how gays should not exest and how people should like the oppest sex....and plus i have been gay sense i can remeber never liked a girl...i think people are really born with this..just like other animals. and my dad dislikes alot of things i do and is always yelling at me..so should i even come out to him? and aslo if you could help me in any way i would be greatful
2006-11-20 21:32:59 · 13 answers · asked by nestgome 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hey fella I'm speaking from experience if i were you i would leave it a bit longer don't be to hasty by the way your describing your dad i think he may well suspect but don't confirm those insecurities hes got, not yet anyway dont feel pressured to come out (it took me till i was 22 to do it and that was only with a liter bottle of vodka in me ) but when you feel you are ready then maybe have a friend with you when you break the news (this is what i done) as moral support you might find like me that no-one in the family bats an eyelid at your earth-shattering news I hope this is the case for you as it was for me I'm in the UK by the way so attitudes may be diffrent than the USA but please don't do what i done and tear yourself apart about it most of all don't live a lie it only brings heartache and anguish be true to yourself and you will know when the time is right to come out maybe get yourself settled in a steady relationship first (which is what i done) and if your dad reacts the way you think he will you have always got your fella to fall back on for moral support and strength hope this helps and i hope things work out for you good luck Steve
2006-11-20 21:48:32 · answer #1 · answered by STEVE89 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK - this is not original, but give it a thought: You say to your dad, "I have some terrible news!!" Then tell him, "I totally demolished your new car. The guy I hit is a local judge, and I think he's paralyzed. When they took me to the hospital they digagnosed me with inoperable cancer. I have 3 months to live. I was so depressed I withdrew all the money from you ATM and gambled some of it and bought cocaine with the rest. The cops caught me doing both things. Worse than that, I lost at gambling, and the guy I owe the money to, wants our house. And, I am sorry to say, that I got that 13 year old girl down the street pregnant." If he has not strangled you by now or stroked out, smile and say, "Just kidding dad. Sorry. All I really wanted to tell you is that I am gay."
2006-11-21 03:23:24 · answer #2 · answered by Mike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My younger brother came out but we all pretty much knew and our response was No **** Sherlock. It is your call about this I hope the best for you. What kind of a relationship do you have with your dad. Does he ever tell you that he loves you. Look for signs that he might already know. tell him that you love him and see how he responds. I don't know your best action about this. I'm 51 so you are talking about my generation or younger and I would have to say we are more open than my fathers generation. It could go allot of ways and I suggest you wait until you are self sufficient.
2006-11-20 22:21:21 · answer #3 · answered by Roberto 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No do not come out to him, he is too much in control of your life and you only have 5-6 years more before you are an adult and in a better position to move out and away from him.
You are only 15 you say he already thinks negatively of much that you do.........tell him your gay and you may in fact create a monster!
You do not need to confess to him...........you need to guard and take care of yourself.
I say live your life quietly for now especially in a small town of 800 life for you could get much more complicated and painful by telling.
Good Luck I worry about kids your age in situations like you.
2006-11-20 23:12:42 · answer #4 · answered by Crampy Grampy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be tactful and wait a bit longer if you can, because he sounds quite mean so you might want to organise somewhere else to stay until he calms down. If you wait till your a bit older get a job and able to pay for own flat, then tell him at least you will be able to escape the verbal abuse when you do tell him.
It must be hard living with it as a secret but try and wait
Goodluck
2006-11-20 21:45:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey kid and you are just a kid, i am a dad and i make jokes about gays, but if you were my son i would still love you because you were my son, but it is not the time to tell anyone what you are, that will come in its on time, so enjoy your teens have a boyfriend if you like, but just call him a mate for the time being, eventually everyone will put two and two together, that might be in one or ten years, but when it happens you will be ready for it, to answer any questions that come your way, good luck and enjoy your life we only have one chance at it
2006-11-20 22:31:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm in tha same situation that ur in. except i'm 19, and our community has 40,000 people, and 1,500 of them are my cousins. that sux, but anyways, my mom knws i'm gay, but my pops dont. U can always do like me and play tha str8 role in front of ur dad, and keep lyin to yourself, or u can own up to it and tell him. He's ur dad, so he's supposed to respect ur decisions. If u wanna be gay, then darnit be gay. He should be there for u 100%
2006-11-21 01:11:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wait until you're at least 18 years old....and have alternate living arrangements in case you are kicked out.
Don't tell your dad now, whatever you do!
2006-11-21 01:16:57 · answer #8 · answered by Jake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, probley not a good idea! Its really not necessary to tell him until you are out of the house. Keep it to yourself for now.
2006-11-20 21:36:47 · answer #9 · answered by arielsalom33 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ok. we have the same case. but so far that i stil hide about it. but, exactly, i will choose the best for me, although i will do my live to be gay.
2006-11-20 22:12:42 · answer #10 · answered by mette 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋