Has anyone experienced an immense sense of loss, bordering on depression, when their pet has died?

Question

My much loved Cat passed away six weeks ago very unexpectedly and whilst he was still quite young (10). I have found it very difficult to cope with. I am relatively normal (in so far that any of us is!) and have found my very deep grief and reaction surprising and a little worrying. Can anyone offer advice?

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH . Your replies have all been so kind and helpful I am deeply grateful.

To those you have asked about Monty please see:

http://hometown.aol.co.uk/paddybriggs2/myhomepage/cat.html

Answer 1

yes I have experienced the greif many times,I have had to grieve over sveral dogs in the past,it is natural to grieve over a very much loved pet,I know what you are going through but it will pass in time

Answer 2

My 13 1/2 year old dog passed away in March this year. He was a my best friend since I was 14 years old. I had to take him to the vets to get put to sleep, it was horrible. All very sudden and a bit traumatic.

I'm only really starting to feel normal again now. I've got a 16 week old pup who's great!

A pet like a cat or dog is such a big part of your life and is part of the family really so it's not surprising you feel deep grief. The advice that I would give to you is look after yourself, take your time to adjust to your loss and in the future if you should ever decide to get a pet make sure you're ready!! It's perfectly normal to feel sad so just run with your feelings and hopefully you will be through the worst of it very soon. If you do feel yourself getting a bit depressed go see your doctor though for a bit of advice. All the best.x

Answer 3

Firstly Im sorry to hear about your cat passing away.
With regards to experiencing grief - then yes several times throughout my life when beloved family pets have died or we've been forced to put them to sleep for their own good.
I find loosing a pet can be even worse than loosing a human. Pets are loyal caring animals - they never fight with you or hurt you. They are an immense form of comfort and a valued companion.
Whilst I realise that you are going to be very upset and depressed over the loss of your cat - my advice to you would be to replace him as soon as you can - but with an animal that you rescue from a sanctuary. Not only will it be giving an animal that has been hurt and neglected by humans a good home (coz you sound like a very good loving owner) but the company of a new pet will ease the feeling of loss and lonliness.
I know people will disagree with me saying its too soon etc - but really i found it was the best way of getting over loosing my pets and the feeling you get from knowing you're giving a poor helpless little abondaned animal a new start in life with a good home is the best feeling in the world.
I wish you all the best! xx

Answer 4

Its perfectly normal to feel that way, please just let yourself go through the normal grieving process and don't be worried by it. All thats happened is that you became attatched to your cat, and thats normal. Its not normal for people to keep a live animal and be indifferent to it, or neglectful, or actively cruel.

And don't rush out and buy a new pet, you will most likely be disappointed with the 'replacement'!
You probably hadn't noticed how much time you and your animal spent interacting. Plus an animal is alive and makes a house feel more like a home.
You'd lived together for 10 years.
You'll feel the acute stage for about 2 - 4 weeks, then it will gradually subside. Hopefully you have a couple of decent photos and some nice memories.

Answer 5

My previous pet (a dog) died 9 years ago. I cried pretty much non-stop for 4 days. If you felt your cat was a family member like I did about my dog, this is normal. I still think about him (Hoover) quite often, several times a week! Time will allow you to live with your loss. You must go through the grieving process like you would with any type of loss. It gets easier. Honor your cat by keeping photos around the house. Talk about your loss with someone who understands. It will help to mend your broken heart. If the depression becomes so severe that you cannot even function, you may want to consider counselling, otherwise you must stay the course and mourn you cat as you would a friend or family member.

Answer 6

Yes, Paddy, I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my beloved springer spaniel Bud on 28 December 2005. He died of Leukaemia. He had been with me everywhere. We had lived in the USA, France and two places in the UK. I had shared so many good time with him. Even now, know exactly what he looked like walking in front of me.
He was so weak at the end that we had to have the vet put him down at our home. I couldn't eat or even talk for the first week. The only thing that seems to have helped is that I've gone to Springer Spaniel Rescue, a great group, and adopted another spaniel, Charlie. He has been with us since April. He's a completely different dog from Bud, but he is great in his own way. Another thing that helped was volunteering with the Cinnamon Trust, another great group. Through them, I walk a spaniel, Katie, for a young woman who is very ill. The two spaniels love each other, and it makes me happy to see them run in the fields.
I am still very, very sad when I think of my great old dog, Bud. But it really does help to just try to do something to try make things a little better. Sometimes I think I see Bud running with the other two ahead of me in the fields, even if I know that that can't be true.
Hope you feel less pain soon, Paddy. Problem is animals are sometimes so much nicer, deeper and more dependable than people. But time will help.

Answer 7

Yes of course. I've felt the same way every time I've lost a pet (I've lost several over the years). It's quite normal. Just because your pet isn't human doesn't mean you don't grieve in the same way. In fact I've quite often found it worse as your pet is with you every day when you get home from work, you feed it, cuddle it, look after it. In many ways you have more interaction with your pet than most other humans in your life.

There is no easy way to get over grief. I lost a much beloved cat of 14 to cancer. That was very hard to deal with, however only 4 months after that I lost another of my cats who was only 7 due to poisoning. In many ways that was worse to deal with as he was young and up until that point a very healthy cat.

This may seem like the wrong thing to say at this time, but if you were to get another cat or kitten (NOT as a replacement), the mere fact that you have to focus your attention on them and their needs does help with your grief. Good luck and trust me it will get easier with time.

Answer 8

i have often thought about this and i know i would be devastated if any of my cats passed away.
not to go into too much detail but my father passed away 20 years ago and it still lives with me but since then i have developed a shell where noone gets in or out, i feel as though i couldnt care less if anyone else died (apart from my wife and mother) and i could cope with it by ignoring it, but the thought of losing one of my cats is unbearable. grief and loss are very hard things to deal with and its your own personality that will let u know in time how to deal with it. take comfort from the support of others even if you dont listen to what they actually say.
iv always used music to try and help me find a strength inside and on the subject of loss this line from bob dylan sums it up perfectly for me: '..and i've never gotten used to it, i just learned to turn it off. either im too sensitive or else im getting soft.'

Answer 9

It is a normal reaction - after all your cat has been one of the family for 10 years. I feel the same every time I lose of my animals - to me its like losing a child. Have a look on the PDSA or Blue cross websites as they advertise a pet bereavement service that is free to use but very good. Its similar to CRUSE but for the loss of an animal. They really can help just by talking to you. Good luck love - I cant say the pain of the loss ever goes away but it does get easier with time xx

Answer 10

yes i have, i lost a cat who was the same age as me and at 17 years he was hit by a car right outside our house, i lived in a very quiet area so not only had to deal with loosing him but also the fact that someone had obviously been driving too fast and hit him.
i found that what made it easier was to give myself a few months to grieve then got myself a kitten.
this wasn't done to replace my other cat, but to fill the deep gap that was left when i lost him. it also helped my grieving as it gave me something positive to focus on, and i love my present cat (who is now almost 9) just as much as my other.
this may not be something you will choose to do, but it helped me a great deal.
in time you will get over it.
you don't know what you've got till it's gone and no-one can predict how they're gonna feel when tragedy strikes.
you'll be fine hon.
time is the greatest healer.
xxx

Answer 11

Hi , I am sooo sorry to hear about Monty :( I understand your grief and its very normal.. Matter of fact , it shows you have a kind and compassionate heart...
I lost my miniature Pinsher 2 years ago and I still think about him and call our other dog by his name...( sometimes)People who have pets and genuinely love them , will grieve for them just as if they were humans.,
Besides , Monty was a part of your life and not just a cat .. He was a part of your family..
In my opinion , you are far above normal :) To have soooo much love and feel the heartbreak requires a special kind of person....
Take your time and grieve your loss.. Let yourself .....And remember all the fun Monty brought into your life.. You will never forget him, but I can promise that eventually . you will come to a special place within your heart and Monty will be there.

Do not make the mistake thou of replacing Monty too soon.. I did that with Paco( my min-pin) and I thought another min-pin would ease my pain . Well, the other min-pin was nothing like paco and thus I was hurt again...I still love our new min-pin but he is a daddies boy instead of a mommies boy because I just couldn't bond with him(Levi) the same way I did with Paco....

I hope this all helped you and again , I am soo sorry for your loss..
Cry for your pain, laugh for the joy that Monty brought and keep him in a special place in your heart. and remember Monty as he was, not as he now is..

.Much Love and Blessings to you Joanna