my wife of 25 years had an affair with a 28 year old. why?

Answer 1

can her, she's selfish all she thinks about is her needs and not yours. can her behind, when she comes to her senses she'll come back, hopefully you'll have the strength to slam the door in her face.

the other option is to forgive and forget, but after 25 years I find that hard to believe. adultery is a condition of the heart. It comes from within, dont buy into that baloney it was a one night thing or i was lonely. An affair builds up, it just doesnt happen, She had plenty of oppurtunities to can this affair before it got way out of hand, but did she?? Unless she's repented and bent on fixing the marriage I'd can her.

You want proof she wants to get it right, lets see if she initiates counseling, and forgiveness, if she does you marriage might have a chance to begin to work it out, if shes being wishy-washy about the whole thing, CAN HER A@@!

Answer 2

If your wife told you she was not promiscuous then who exactly has been dropping the poison into your ear, and what was their motive? I take it you were a virgin when you got married? I am sorry to shock you, but I know a lot of men who had more partners than that - slightly more than 2 a year. If she had been 19 when you met and had had two partners - would that also be promiscuous? Or okay? Perhaps you think it is okay for a man to have two partners in a year, but not a woman? It seems very sad to throw away 25 years of both of your lives for the sake of something that happened before you met each other. Unless this is some form of excuse because you are having a midlife crisis?

Answer 3

dang, 25 years of marriage and she cheated. Women don't usually cheat, unless they are not being fulfilled at home. Don't get your panties in a wad, it is not just sexually stimulating, but mentally, physically, emotionally as well. You have to delve into the mysteries of the human mind to understand cheaters. Now, if you were given the opportunity with Pamela Anderson, or Jessica Alba, or Sanaa Lathan..would you cheat? I mean they were all over you and they wanted you??? See with us men it is different, we are only loyal as far as what is in front of us. Our opportunity dictates our loyalty sometimes. Then there are some that would not do it if there were the Victoria Secret models. But the thing is we have to understand that there are reasons or levels of affairs. What drove the person to this level in the relationship? It could have started out with flirting, just to see if the other person finds them attractive. Because the other partner is not thinking of them. So needs a boost of esteem. Then there is the chatting or internet search type of affairs. The talking and talking on line, thinking that this is not an affair, and the two will never meet. But eventually, the partner does something stupid, and then they have to carry out the internet affair with a meeting. Cause now they are mad and just have to have someone to talk to. Anyway...I hope I have shared some light on ths subject for you.

Answer 4

Your wife is the only one who can answer this. Have you spoken with her about it?

After you discuss it with her, you'll know whether your marriage is sound and this was just a one-time mistake that she's learned from, or whether the two of you need to work on your marriage, perhaps with the help of a counselor, or whether the marriage cannot be saved.

It's possible that your wife is now more likely than most people to be faithful. Perhaps now she feels she never wants to have another affair. Now she knows how this one happened and she might be able to keep it from happening again.

Answer 5

WOW, everyones giving you an explanation, it was this it was that,,,,if you wanna settle for this psychosis or that psychosis, fine. The truth is she knew what she was doing WAS WRONG. (HELLO) Was she forcefully raped? or did she WILLINGLY compromise your marriage. Ok no-one is perfect, maybe your love life is hurting, or maybe it jeaoulsy or revenge or both. 2 wrongs dont make RIGHT.

She threw you to the curb, and like one post said before, she did it once she'll do it again.

Id divorce her and threw her BEHIND to the curve, let that new dude take care of her,(If he will) then she''ll know who really loved her. And if she dont care, well then you got a careless b,,,,bimbo on your hands in which that case SHE'LL DO IT AGAIN! Get out while you got the courts on your side, keep the house and the kids and put her butt on skid-row where she wants to be.

Answer 6

she has a self worth problem, and this young man makes her feel special. he makes her feel attractive in a way she doesn't anymore with u. bottom line is when we marry we make a vow to the person we marry, love is not really a feeling but a choice to stay with our mates. well this is all about a feeling she is having, could be a mid life crisis kind of thing, where she sees herself getting older, and maybe not as desirable or young as she once was, along comes mr romantic, telling her everything she needs to hear. has to do with the newness of it, the excitement it gives her. nothing at all to do with u, or that your not a good husband. has to do with her thought process, and what's going on in her head. she may be addicted to constant approval of people, in order for her to feel special. he gave her that approval for now. but as they say there ain't no fool like an old fool. that young guy is just using her, he won't be around forever. it's about something she feels is lacking that he gives her. he makes her feel young, and wanted. u will probroly be there to pick up the pieces once he doesn't want her anymore, and than and only than will she see the one who really loves her.

Answer 7

I am sorry to know that. Please be strong and handle this the best way you see fit. If your relationship of 25 years with your wife is worth the fight to save at this point, then she needs to make it up to you BIG TIME.
It is almost impossible to gain the trust back, unless she is SERIOUSLY SORRY and you can feel it in YOUR HEART.

Only you know at this point if you should continue to be together with her.
I am no one to tell you to leave her and find happiness with someone else, though it is never late to restart a new love when one is ready.
But trust and communication is key to love and happiness.

Good LUck!

Answer 8

Maybe it has something to do with your relationship with your wife. Ask her. And I don't believe that one guy that says once a cheat always a cheat. I cheated one time and I haven't since then. We have been married 26 years.

Answer 9

Some kind of mid life crisis ?
Has she developed Bi-Polar Manic/Depressive syndrome ?
She was trying to reclaim some of the passion of her youth ?
Is this a one time deal or is she likely to repeat it ?
Are you going to forgive & forget or are you going to divorce her ?
It will always be a wound in your heart and you will never forget it.
If she is truly repentant and you can find it within yourself to forgive her and move on then you may save your marriage..

Answer 10

I would say there was something in your relationship that she wasnt getting, sex, passion? The thrill of the chase? Maybe she is simply feeling old and this guy made her feel young again. I would look seriously at what they saw in each other that was missing in your relationship. If she wasnt missing something she wouldnt have done it.