I lived with this man & we split up and within a month he got married then deployed, he has told me it was out of fear of being alone. I went to his base right before he went out of country and spent the night with him. He told me he still loves me and he wants us to be together yet he does have a wife in his house when he returns. Should i let it go? I cant stop talking to him I promised that no matter what i would at least be his friend throughout this deployment. I wont walk away from that promise. But when he gets home what should i do then?? HELP!
2006-11-20 19:10:18 · 16 answers · asked by sweetkisz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
its difficult, and its not really your call as he is now married and has a lot more to lose than you, half of everything he owns is at stake, however if he loves you as much as you say you love him then he will do exactly that.I think its great that you are sticking by him through what can only be a horrible time for him and you sound like a loyal and wonderful person, keep being his best friend but don't put pressure on him to end his relationship, let him make that call for himself and if he asks just say you will be there for him, but when he does leave at least you wont have the guilt of splitting them up, after all imagine if it was the other way round and that he was leaving you for her? not nice is it?
sounds like your'e the one though so like i said sit tight, be a friend and i think it could be a happy ending for you two.
2006-11-20 19:17:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in trouble. Your emotions are raw and the feelings that you have for him is very very real.
I know that you are in love, so think about it this way...when you love someone, you will move heaven and earth to be with and protect that person. Nothing anyone else will say or do can come between you. That is if you really are in love.
If he cared and wanted to be with you, he would tell his wife that it is over and he wants to get a divorce. He will try to use the excuse that he is gone and would like to do it in person, or any other reason not to take of of this with his wife. He is hurting you by not leaving his wife, he is hurting her by not giving him all of himself but he is killing his self with the guilt of leading two lives.If he knew for SURE that you were the one for him, he would make sure that you knew it. But he doesn't know, and you are going to be along for the emotional ride until he makes a choice. Unless you decide to stand up for yourself, and say when you get a divorce you know my number and email.
Easier said then done, but to keep you out of the deepest darkest depression that you have ever known you have to protect yourself, even if it from your own emotions.
2006-11-20 19:27:42 · answer #2 · answered by Sweet T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all both of you need to pray for forgiveness. He has committed adultery. If he should be killed neither of you want that on your conscience regardless of your religious beliefs. The next thing you should do is break it off and go on about your business. For what ever reason he married this other woman, ( 30 days after you broke up, did he know her before they broke up?) she deserves more than a cheating husband. If he doesn't want to be with her he needs to be honest with her and let her know. Either way you need to step back and not be an influence on his decision.
2006-11-20 19:22:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom and dad are only being mom and dad. They love you and prefer you to take greater time till now making any considerable judgements. while i became into engaged at 17 my mom and dad have been mortified. Now that i'm older I understand that they have got been precise. For me, individually, it became into too youthful and that i had so plenty greater turning out to be as much as do. i'm in no way even close to being the comparable man or woman that i became into at 18 and early 20's. i did no longer finally end up marrying him with the aid of unavoidable circumstances yet i individually do no longer recognize if our marriage might have lasted via each and every of the variations. that's as much as you nonetheless an no longer your mom and dad and no one can recognize what's in shop for you and your marriage. My superb friends mom and dad have been given married while she became into sixteen and he 18. they're having their thirtieth anniversary next month. they have survived the united statesand downs that existence has thrown them and don't remorseful approximately getting Married so youthful.
2016-10-04 04:58:21 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go!!! You don't want to be the reason that a divorce happens. If he did for fear of being alone, than he is not healthy. You are just opening the door for heart ache if you put any more energy in to this.
2006-11-20 19:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a married man - you are both committing adultery. If he divorces when he gets back home, then you are free to hook up with him again. To sneak around with him is really rotten.
Why don't you put yourself in the place of his wife - freshly married, waiting for her husband - would you want someone skanking on him? She married him, you didn't.
2006-11-20 19:13:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee the man is married... why are you even messing with a married man??? your just wasting your time and life away for something you cannot have...if he still loves you than why in the world is he still married??/come on see the light and move on with your life this man is taken...
2006-11-20 19:16:28 · answer #7 · answered by blugeanie923 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the guy. Im not in favor of Dear John letters to our boys over seas but he is married by his choice. RUN!
2006-11-20 19:13:05 · answer #8 · answered by bradthepilot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's married! End of story.
2006-11-20 19:13:09 · answer #9 · answered by lozatron 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has a wife so you have to leave him alone.I hope the wife doesn't find out for your sake.
2006-11-20 19:12:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋