2006-11-20 19:10:09 · 22 answers · asked by shanan g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have been married for past 11 years and have 1 kid, who he adores. We live in a joint family. I have been over weight from the time we got married. I have lost all most 15kg but still I don’t get any compliments from him. He loves to look at other women and complement on their looks. I tried to sit and tell him about my feelings but he just doesn’t listen and we hardly ever talk, if we do it always ends up in an argument.
2006-11-20 19:50:08 · update #1
Recognizing that passion has taken a downward turn is the first step toward correcting it. A couple that is committed to maintaining a quality relationship will monitor it carefully. They will discuss their declining passion and will seek ways to restore aliveness and pleasure. This is a marriage that is in a constant state of creation.
I am fond of telling people that love is a verb not a noun. Love doesn't just happen. You don't "trip" into love and you don't "fall" into love. Real love and passion is something that two people must work at together.
A good sexual relationship is nothing more than good communication. To communicate, first and foremost, you need to know how to listen. To listen you have to get out of your own way. You need to empty your head of your arguments, preconceived notions, expectations and opinions and then be open with your entire being to what the other is communicating.
No small task.
Good sex is a function of learning how to listen. Many of us carry a great deal of baggage into our bedrooms. That baggage might be parental or religious do's and don'ts or some image based on grade Z movies about how a great lover is supposed to perform. While he is worrying about duplicating the sexual gymnastics of some mythical Hollywood lover, she is feeling abandoned.
Both men and women need to let go of trying to prove themselves to one another and learn to satisfy one another. When they achieve that goal, their reward will be a passionate and loving relationship.
2006-11-20 23:26:28 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you caught his interest enough for him to marry you, so that's definitely a good start!
Is it possible that your husband is preoccupied with work or family issues? Does he have a lot that he's dealing with that might make him feel distracted from home life? Have you had a chance to sit down with him without any distractions and let him know how you feel and what it is that he's doing that's making you feel this way? Sometimes we're completely tunnel-vision, we just don't see that there are problems unless we're outright told about the issues.
I'd suggest counseling, but it seems to me that you'd have to be able to have him showing interest for him to be willing to go. But keep it in mind?
Is there any way that you and your husband can take a couple days off from work and family and obligations? Can you possibly go to one of those cabin resorts with no television and phones for emergencies only? And if you have cell phones, please leave them behind. Seems like you two need some time with each other so you can kind of "get to know each other" again, it may very well help him remember who you really are, why he fell in love with you to begin with.
Good luck with your marriage, I hope you can find something that will help.
2006-11-20 19:22:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
11 years is a long time and what your husband is doing is not fair on you.
Why don't you go in for a makeover. Change your wardrobe. Go to a good parlour get your hair done in some different colour, style it. Get a good facial done. Basically start looking after your self and don't bother about your husband but at the same time dont ignore your son. Start ignoring your husband. Its called reverse psychology. Dress well. Love yourself and be confident. Do things which you always wanted to but you didn't have the chance to do. See the difference in yourself and see your husband will defiantly start noticing it too.
It will help.
good luck
2006-11-20 22:01:41 · answer #3 · answered by Blueberry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask him if in fact he is interested in still being interested. Don't automatically assume that it is you that is not doing something right. Some men find it extremely hard to resist a confident woman. Be confident. Dress nice when you go out even if just to the store. Have your face made up, pick up some nice fitting trendy clothes. If he starts to question your motives, you know he is still interested. Have girlfriends you can go out with for drinks or dinner or even shopping. Act like you did when you were dating, the flirting etc..
2006-11-20 19:24:20 · answer #4 · answered by tulsamum 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
spend some time in the night during sleeping hours and talk with him intimately.Share ur joys and sorrows from ur child hood days.
then slowly u can enter his heart. Then u see and feel the difference.All the best!!!. not only sex but hearty chat can also cure several troubles of human heart!
2006-11-20 19:16:38 · answer #5 · answered by raja rajan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No R-rated video clips allowed interior the abode? you are going to be residing inclusive of your head interior the sand. feels like the husband feels like he has to lie and disguise his interest because of the fact he's usual together with his spouse won't understand. additionally, he probable feels extremely uncomfortable - even embarrassed - every time he's approached related to the venture. the two considered one of you're married adults, you may stay a clean existence, yet advance up and behave like married adults extremely than spending all your capability attempting to make beneficial the the two considered one of you're absolute saints. have confidence me, your husband staring at **** and his feeling drawn to you're 2 circumstances that have no longer something to do with one yet another. while a individual perspectives ****, in spite of if guy or spouse, it many times does no longer mean one companion isn't drawn to the different. rather, viewing **** is a typical outlet for fantasy and exhilaration, without certainly cheating. extremely, it extremely is healthy for the marriage. it extremely is common for mature, married adults to observe ****. the base line is to make beneficial it extremely is executed sparsely, and actual save it below wraps faraway from acquaintances and kinfolk. My spouse and that i are additionally God fearing Christians. i'm hopeful you loosen up for the sake of you and your husband.
2016-11-25 22:20:44 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u hvnt mentioned in wht aspects do u wish to catch his attention...does he keep too busy nd doesnt have time for u or is it he doesnt come close to you sexually.....if he keeps busy it doesnt mean he is purposely not giving u time....work pressure is too much nowadays so u hv to live with that...if this is a sexual matter then make sure u change ur clothing style...u can wear saphegetti tops, tank tops, capris or something which suits u n gets him hooked to u.......
2006-11-20 19:49:08 · answer #7 · answered by rajdebrain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you tried learning about some of his interests? let him know that you love him and he is so important to you that you are willing hang with him..even if that means watching sports or something else that you may not really like.
2006-11-20 19:16:44 · answer #8 · answered by beckdawgydawg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There may be nothing wrong. He may just be this kind of a person, talking less. Just learn to enjoy with him.
2006-11-20 20:13:29 · answer #9 · answered by Meeto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself... anyway before you and your husband got married, he loves you by who you are. Just stay loving, caring, understanding and of course pretty....
2006-11-20 19:14:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋