My fiancee is out of the country now and said that he does not want any men in my house, particualry a childhood friend that is a male that i had sex with before one time. So i called my friend who has never met my fiancee and told him that he cant come to my house anymore...........he was very upset but i feel that becuz we have had sex that my fiancee has every right to not want him at the house...........was i wrong?
2006-11-20 18:53:38 · 14 answers · asked by exceptionallyexceptional 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I called to tell him becuz he calls sometimes and asks me can he come over and he knows my fiancee is not in the country and when i mentioned it to him before that it might be a problem he suggested that i allow him to come over and not tell my fiancee that he was there. So i jus asked my fiancee about what he thought about him coming over and he said no, and added that he does not want any men in the house while he is not here unless he is kin. He also said that he has never allowed any women in the house where he is stayin and he expects met to do the same. So I called my friend back to tell him he cant come over.
2006-11-20 19:11:33 · update #1
You were right. I mean, you have had sex with the guy before and even though you might not plan on something happening it might. When I was in S.Korea and my hubby (then fiance') was here in the US he asked me to not have a particular guy in my room b/c of a past incident. I spoke with my friend and he understood and respected my fiance' s wishes. I'm glad I did it too cause it got really lonely over there sometimes and it took a lot of added pressure off of me.
2006-11-20 19:08:54 · answer #1 · answered by Selena L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i mean would you want a girl in the house the your soon to be husband has slept with in the house while you were gone? you had every right and that was very understanding of you to understand where your fiancee was comming from. Im sure if your fiancee is around im sure he will not mind your friend comming around just as long as he is around. That is very understandable. So no you were not wrong in comprising with your soon to be husband and telling your friend this and he should understand this also. You guys still can hang out but just to ease your husbands mind go with your friend in groups like have others around with you guys.
GOOD LUCK
2006-11-20 18:58:28 · answer #2 · answered by knowssignlanguage 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
You can see that matter both side.
Once you give commitment to someone then its your responsibility to fullfil it. The same way, the opponent must have trust on you. Your fiancee is out of country what about him? You have trust on him right? but you cant tell him that He should not do this or that, once you put trust then its final.
If that person/your friend is coming to your house, then its your responsibility that you take care of ur self. But if your fiancee is telling you not to let him come, then what if he is doing something wrong over there? I hope you understand. I just want you both to understand and learn to put trust on each other and be faithful.
Thank You.
2006-11-20 19:01:48 · answer #3 · answered by sam 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you werent wrong, it is good that you have enough respect for your fiancee to actually do what he asked. As for the friend if he was a real friend he will understand that you love your fiancee and it is important to you to keep him happy.
2006-11-20 18:57:09 · answer #4 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sure- it would be very understandable- esp w fiancee out of country and the old feelings could stir up for this ex- or the attention of another man could get you-in trouble-D
2006-11-20 18:56:12 · answer #5 · answered by Debby B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your bf is rigfht to NOT want your X lover in your house when he is out of the country.
You are engagaed and don't have any reason to be hanging out with an x bf while your man is home or away.
Who is more important in your life the x bf or your fiancee????
2006-11-20 19:09:20 · answer #6 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He told you the correct thing to do and you did the right thing. Good communication and trust.
Did you expect him to not be upset? He would probably ask the same of his fiance! Though, does your fiance include male family members?
Peace.
2006-11-20 19:02:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you were not wrong.However it seems as if your fiance needs to learn to trust you since he would only have to rely on your following his orders in his absence.I would ask him why he doesn't want such visitations,and if it is because he thinks you will cheat on him,then work on reassuring him instead of following certain rigid rules that might fail in case you lose yourself control.
2006-11-20 18:58:45 · answer #8 · answered by sherie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! I feel like maybe you are trying to create some steam here. You didnt need to call and say that. Just dont invite him to your house. Why did you tell him that when you know that would hurt someone that cares about you for along times feelings?
2006-11-20 18:59:37 · answer #9 · answered by anothersatniteandiaintgotno 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
trust and honesty are very important. your guy has a bit of jealousy, which is understandable. staying away from your "friend" is, in my opinion, a good idea. if your guy is a control freak, you will learn that soon enough. if "friend isn't around, temptations are minimized.
2006-11-20 20:14:19 · answer #10 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋