How can you help a friend who is making a lot of bad choices?

Question

I've been friends with *Kerry for many,many years. She is like a sister to me. Recently she has started hanging out with this new girl, *Staci who is a complete idiot! *Staci smokes pot and already has a drinking a smoking problem. *Kerry has started to act just like her. They go out and drink every weekend. They nearly got into a wreck because they were drinking and driving. I can't just tell her parents about it, she would never forgive me, even though I'm trying to help. This new girl's mother lets them drink and smoke. I can't tell a counselor, because I'm home schooled.
And please don't tell me how stupid my friend is, I've heard that enough. My mom has warned my friends mom about how dumb *Staci is, but she says she trusts *Kerry to make the right decisions. We are only fifteen.

Answer 1

If they are drinking/smoking somewhere public call the police on them.
She won't know it was you.
Being arrested could snap some sense into her.
Her parents will find out and hopefully do something about it.

I know it seems harsh but you could be saving her life.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I agree with clueless. Would you be able to live with yourself if Kerry drove drunk and was killed, knowing you had to chance to possibly stop all that?

"I can't just tell her parents about it, she would never forgive me,"

If she gets a sex disease or is in an accident due to Staci's actions, would she have a chance to forgive you anyway? I'm not trying to preach: but Kerry is killing herself by hanging with Staci.

You need to tell Kerry's parents what they've been up to. Regardless of whether Kerry made you swear to secrecy. This is something you need to interfere with.

HOWEVER...

Just make sure the time is right. Don't jump to too many accusations/conclusions at once. Let the news slip gradually.

Answer 3

Sweetie,i know you are afraid to lose a friend and that you dont want to rat her out.However,she is playing with death.She is drinking and driving,which is dangerous to her and any one in the vehicle.She is smoking and doing drugs,both are dangerous and are addicting.She is fifteen,and as im sure you agree she has her whole life ahead of her,but not at this rate she dont.You need to speak to her parents.You can take your mother for emotional support and speak with her.She needs to know what her daughter is taking part in,in order to help her.You are helping save your friends life,whether she realises it now or not.There are million of teenagers who die everywhere as a result of driving under the influence.Whether,they were the ones drinking or the other person in control of the other vehicle is under the influence,they lose their life.It is more important that she understand you are trying to help her,and not simply "Rat her out".Over time,as she matures she will come to see you were protecting her.You seem like a wonderful,mature,caring friend.Please,help this girl even if she wont help herself.Have a good morning hun,Good luck.I will keep your friend in my prayers.

Answer 4

Im 30 now, but I had a friend just like that, and it started out small like that and she ended up doing cocaine, having sex with all sorts of guys, smoking pot, drinking , and stealing a car. It got bad. I never wanted to tell her mom because I didnt want her to be mad at me, but if you love her as a friend then you need to tell her mom, because with Drunk driving, she can kill herself or someone else and be in serious trouble. I finallly told her mother and she started to straighten up for a while but I wish I would have told sooner before It had gotten out of hand. I got married, moved away, etc...and I just saw her again for the first time after 8 years and she is still a mess. Please do somehting for your friend before she becomes worse and ruins her life.

Answer 5

You need to go right to Kerrys mom, she will be mad, but you are helping to save her life. Tell the mom all the details you know. If she is a good friend she will come around. Good Luck

Answer 6

I would tell her parents. Yes, you will probably lose a friend. You may very well also save a Girl's life. Is that not a good trade-off? Think about it.

Answer 7

if you cant speak to your mums about it..or they dont see the seriousness in the matter....just tell kerry and retell her over and over how silly and dangerous her behaviour is becoming.....if she wont listen you can only be there to support her when she takes a fall...hopefully the fal wont be too big.....

Answer 8

I hope I can help you to help her I am 22 and I have two cousins that are 15 and just turned 16 I am worried about my 16 yr cousin but i dont know exactly what she is doing cuz we live so far apart but i try to get her to come stay with me as much as possible. I know when your a teen and even a young adult its hard to chose the right things in are life, and we think it's cool to do some things that are really not good for us, i'm going through it now with myself and I can only hope and pray God will lead and guide me down the right rodes. so first you should say a prayer asking God to protect her and show her the right ways and you may be the friend that God has put in her life to lead her out of these things and to show you how to not get caught up in these things. I love the lord and try to do the right things although I don't go to church I need to but anyway.
It's really hard to not get caught up in these types of things when you hang out with a croud that does this.Maybe you could invite her to come over as often as possible maybe go to the movies, out to eat . Don't pressure her about what she is doing or talk bad about her new tyoe of friends you know how it is when someone talks about something in your life you think is okay, it will just make you mad,and not want to be around that person. So don't make it the whole conversation piece when you talk to her, but you should talk to about this just tell her you are concerned about her and don't want to see her hurt, or get hurt . Just try to plan things for her to be with yo and other friends who is not into drinking and drugs. I know you don't want to hear this because I would'nt either, but sometimes you have got to let someone know (her parents) or maybe you could talk to your parents and let them talk to hers, you could ask her parents not to let her know how they found out about her smoking and drinking, explain to them she would never forgive you and you really want to stay her friend, they should understand that just act like they found it out from someone else who may have seen them or something. And if the parents still don't believe you talk to your friend find out where they might be going and let her parent know where they are one night the suspicion might make them go check up on her. I'm only telling you this because at the ages you guys are now the parents can stop things but once she is over 18 they can't do anything. I really think the best thing is to tell her parents but try to have some Proof! thats important! but sweetie pie the road only leads to worse she is so vonurable at this age, wants to be cool, fit in, try things she's never tried before, it will only get worse maybe even deadly . you know drinking,smoking dope, the next thing will be sex other drugs,trouble at school, trouble at home, run away. I mean I hate to say these things to you but it's the truth. I hope i'm not boring you and i hope you read this all and take it to heart. by the way I was home schooled most of my life too. well I will leave you alone now. Just pray for her, try to talk to her but don't let her go to far without telling her parents PLEASE!

I really hope this helps you good luck !! My heart goes out to you and your friend you are a great friend and don't let no one lead you down roads except God! your oppinion friend,
Jessika

Answer 9

Sometimes you have to make the bad choices to truely learn from them...