I got married nine months ago, and am 5 month pregnant. The marriage was based on lies...?

Question

and what I got after marriage was lies, tricks to keep me under control..., threats of killing and suicide..emotional, verbal and physical abuse, I tried to make things work out...but no use...even I wished to wait for baby for a year as I was not sure about things working out between me and my husband...but was tricked into pregnancy too.....Now I hate everybody there and have been at parents house from 3 months and want a divorce ..mutual one without any fuss...he wants me back but I cant tolerate it anymore...can you get a divorce without going to the court?

Answer 1

nope the marriage was based on the baby

Answer 2

First let me tell you that I can totally understand where you are coming from. A marriage that makes you a parent so quickly takes a toll on a marriage immediately. All of a sudden you are not the same person he married. You are a different woman emotionally, hormonally, and mentally. Any mother will tell you just how much of a pregnancy you have no control over. The mood swings, the hormones, affect the 2 of you. In fact a lot of women say they absolutely can not fathom the smell, sight, sound, anything about their husbands while pregnant. Men who have not educated themselves about a pregnant woman will most certainly take it all personal. Some get jealous of the time and attention that a pregnancy takes from the wife. The only way the know how to deal is by acting out. Talk to him about seeing a professional that will help him with anger management. If you report him to the authorities for the abuse he has inflicted on you and your unborn child that will most likely be part of his sentencing. (anger management)
Depending on the state you live in. The norm is that since there is a child involved and he is the father, the court would want you to file for a social security number for the child so that a child support order can be placed. If you don't get a divorce it will be more difficult for him to have any rights to the child, right away. The divorce most likely would include visitations and all that. You can certainly call and talk to a family law attorney to advise you. You can file as soon as the baby is born and when the social security number comes in continue. Keep in mind that legal papers give him a legal right to his child. If you don't give him one, it is his word against yours in what is in the best interest of the child. Being married his name would have to go on the birth certificate as well.
Good luck and God bless your baby.

Answer 3

very unfortunate so to say, but then nothing is impossible once u set ur mind on it. just decide, something based on lies will always lie low in life. if u could not get happiness in the first few months and are being tricked into anything and everything please give it a serious thought. dont delay in deciding, u want to wait for the baby and then what? do u and the baby want to suffer together, are u looking for a partner in ur sufferings. give it a serious thought, the baby would be better off having a clean, honest ,responsible mother than having a criminal father and no mother at all.. that is his threats of killing u etc. Unless u respect ur self remember no one is going to respect u.. respect urself and the soul u r bringing into this world. divorce today or divorce 20yrs down the line is a divorce only. atleast u will save urself the misery and pain and uncertainity of so many years if u take a quick decision. I FEEL IF U DECIDE, COME OUT AND FIGHT EVEN IF IT IS DO OR DIE SITUATION...OTHERWISE COMPROMISE WITH THE SITUATION AND CONTINUE.. ATLEAST THEN U WILL HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF PEACE THINKING IT IS UR DESTINY AND U R NOT ABLE TO DO ANYTHING.. DONT GO ON CRIBBING AND THINKING,WITHOUT MAKING A FIRM DECISION.. BECAUSE BY DOING THIS U R MAKING UR SELF MORE AND MORE MISERABLE.........

JUST WANTED TO TELL U THERE IS NO DIVORCE WITHOUT GOING TO COURT... ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF COURT IS CALLED SEPERATION .. BUT IN THE EYES OF THE LAW U WILL ALWAYS BE KNOWN AS HIS LEALLY WEDDED WIFE.. WHICH IN UR CASE IS DANGEROUS........................
WISH U ALL THE BEST

Answer 4

oh what a mess

it is the worst mistake to get married with someone you dont love. love and only love should be the base of a marriage

the worst part is there is a baby involved, so the court affair will be likely very messy and nasty too

listen, you have to think - do you really want a divorce or you want to give it another try for sake of your baby

meet him alone and talk to him, without being needy, or even angry about anything. ask him, is he ready to start a life with you, from a clean slate, with a new attitude, with respect for each other ?

if not, ask him for divorce and tell him calmly that this for your and his good and things dont have to become nasty and bitter. you both are adults and you should sort this out mutually

BUT if you go for the divorce, and if he refuses to give you divorce, then its going to be impossible to do this without going to court.

i am not aware of the laws, but there must be some legislation about seperation (if you live seperately from your husband for certain years you automatically become eligible for divorce)

but i want to warn you that because you are going to have a baby, he can apply for the baby's custody too so its very complicated.

pls talk to a lawyer, and see what options you have instead of asking on yahoo, where you may not get reliable 'legal' advise.

good luck and i feel for you... i hope you do the right thing for you and your baby..

Answer 5

UMMM no, you have to go to court at some point for a divorce, and I suggest that if this man is mentally unstable from which you are saying he is, that this child not be allowed to be with him alone at all. I mean this sounds like the type of man that will do whatever it takes to hurt you. And he could hurt the child in order to do that. I would even suggest disappearing before this baby is born so he has no way to get any type of custody. I know that sounds harsh, but any man that tricks you into staying with suicide etc. needs serious serious help and cannot and should not be trusted. Please get a good attorney and protect yourself and that baby of yours. That child does not need to be brought into this world with a dad that is psycho

Answer 6

Am really sorry for you. If what you are saying is true - you must separate immediately.

There is no option but to go to court for a divorce. Also please remember that in India divorce is a lengthy and nightmarish proceeding. If you know a good lawyer on a personal basis - he/she may be a good bet. But even that is not something that will ensure that things will go smoothly for you.

The advice on moving away to another location is a good one - even though it may not be an easy or even a legally right option. The simple truth is that you will get space and time to set your life right .... which is what you need at this stage.

Also - please do consider the role of the baby in your life. You cannot consider abortion at this stage. Also - the baby is another reason your husband may want to meet you or may pull you into court. Please do prepare yourself for all eventualities.

Answer 7

I really wonder that these all things happen in India still, this is so tragic , I am also an Indian & I really feel bad when i feel that a girl everything her life moves into a new house& new family on the sole trust of her husband finds that life has become a hell, anyways dear there is no ways you can get divorce sitting at home.

take care

Answer 8

check online for free legal aid - phone the place and find out. Unfortunately each country has its own system. But being abused is a criminal act and the court will always place your baby's interests first. And being abused is not in the best interests of the child. Get a restraining order and report the abuse if he comes near you again. Leaving is the best decision you can make for you and your child.

Answer 9

You must hire a really good lawyer (your friends or parents may have heard about some good lawyer) he will take care of all the legal procedures.You must take care of YOUR baby & yourself,that's the MOST important thing for the time being,your parents will take care of all other matters.Don't stress yourself physically & emotionally,as you may very well know every thing you do do or think will effect your baby.Don't punish your baby for other people's crimes.Don't hasten things,the procedures for divorce may wait for a few months,but the baby will not.
So eat healthy & think healthy for the time-being
May the almighty be with you & your baby

Answer 10

Dear

The Out of Court settlement can only be done if u both agree mutually. Which I think in ur case may be not possible due to ur husband behaviour.

I would recommend u to go to Court becoz u can also claim damages for the trouble given to you by ur in Laws.

I wish u all the BEST

Answer 11

If everything that you have stated is correct, you should go for a separation.

There could be an out of court mutual separation and that would only be possible if your spouse agrees to it. Otherwise there is no other option than to go to a court.

In any case, you should not continue the relationship.