I live in Japan, and the friendships I have here with other foreigners face many unique pressures. It can be sooo lonely here, that you can depend TOO much on just one or two English speaking people for ALL your friendship needs. I have had a 'best friend' the whole time (same company, same starting time) and we've been through everything together (hospital, travel, break ups, illnesses, homesickness, loneliness, you name it.) The thing is, we are so different, that we fight A LOT. But we love each other heaps. We usually resolve our fights, but this time, I feel so hurt, I don't know what to do. She said she wanted some distance between us, that I 'wouldn't NEED her so much in Australia,' etc. The thing is, she said these things so COLDLY, it hurt heaps. Because she said it coldly, does that mean she doesn't feel much about the friendship anymore? She ALWAYS wants control. Is this just another way to control me?
2006-11-20 17:29:49 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i'm sorry, she doesn't sound like a real friend. she may have been friends with you out of pity... does she still contact you, or are you always the one doing the contacting? i think it's time to find another friend whom you don't always quarrel with...
and, it's strange she wants to always be in control... think she has some problems she needs to settle... anyway, gd luck in finding a better friend :)
2006-11-20 17:38:08 · answer #1 · answered by wat_more_can_i_say? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask myself the question that if I were home and not in Japan, would she be my friend? Just because you need a warm body to fill a lonely space in your heart does not mean she is a good friend. We teach people how to treat us. What are you putting up with?
2006-11-21 01:33:42 · answer #2 · answered by pinkee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your kind of situation where you and your friend had gone thru all kinds of things together.......this is the kind of firendship that could last a life-time.
there is a saying that to be truly gret friends with a Japanese...... you need to bathe in the same hot water spring in your birthday suite with this friend.
I trust its the smae the world over......this kind of relationship will last for any nationality.
May be inadvertently you had hurt your friend..............quite deeply and your friend may be putting on a 'cold front' to test what is your reaction or feeling towards her/him.
Be considerable & careful..........if you respond by being cold too.........that beautiful friendship is over and gone forever......
...........but if you respond with a generousity of heart, mind & sho it in no unceratain terms that you value her/his friendship.......... you may end up crying in each other's arms................and seal & bond that special friendship for the rest of your lives!
God bless............for 2 who gone thru ALL together........should count on eah other ...........TOGETHER!
2006-11-21 01:55:53 · answer #3 · answered by sandy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably,she is not good friend.
I think that you need her, she is selfish.
You would better find the friend who needs you in Japan.
For example,like a who want to study English.
And a girlfriend is more better.
2006-11-24 05:47:31 · answer #4 · answered by MikeNeko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at first i though well every one needs space but as you went on i changed my mind.I dont think thats a good friend if a friend at all but she could just be tired of you a need a brake but theirs no reason to be cold about it i think you should find a new friend
2006-11-21 01:35:43 · answer #5 · answered by tracemiss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like there is more to it. we only hurt the ones we love. she maybe hurt as well, and comes off coldly to protect herself.
2006-11-21 01:33:30 · answer #6 · answered by beccaboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO SHE IS A GOOD FRIEND BUT IN BF THERE R LOTS OF FIGHT U KNOW...
2006-11-21 01:45:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋