some love advice - ladies only please?

Question

Hello,

I am male and have a female friend. We have been very good friends for almost 9 years. I have very deep feelings for her. She has shown a few signs of interest here and there but she keeps just out of my reach. Just when I think she is interested, she'll cool off..

I am thinking of calling her on Thanksgiving and just sort of let her know how much I appreciate her friendship. Would it be a big mistake to tell her that I love her like a sister? I want her to be more comfortable with my feelings but don't want to kill my chances further down the road.

How would you take such a comment?

Answer 1

It sounds like you love her romantically??

If that's the case, I wouldn't say "I love you sis" - ew!

Maybe tell her how much you appreciate her as a friend and her being in your life and how special she is to you...

Leave it at that for awhile first and see where it goes....

Answer 2

Heck yes it would be a big mistake! If a guy said that to me and I actually liked him, or even if I didn't like it, I would take it as a huge insult and want to shoot him (figure of speech, but still, I'd be mad) How would I take such a comment? I'd think you were an idiot if you insulted me like that. You said you had deep feelings for her??? Saying that would translate to: "I see you as a little kid, not as an equal, and I have a purely platonic nonsexual love for you and we will never ever be in a real relationship together" The thing about her cooling off when she seems interested is just because she's worried about getting close to you(if she does like you, that is) If I had a friend who would say he loved me like a little sister, of course I'd be afraid to show too much interest and be rejected! Ahh! Maybe you should be making MOVES instead of expecting her to, and the little sister thing is like throwing a giant rock on your little love flower you're trying to grow. Women usually wish that our male friends would stop being sissies and admit they like us (if we like them that is)... why don't you just ask her "do you like me?" and see what she does

Answer 3

No dont tell her you love her like a sister cause than you two will remain friends unless thats what you want to have a close friend like that. However if you want a relationship with her call her up before thanksgiving and find out what she is doing on thanksgiving and if she says nothing. Than invite her over for a dinner and go down to the store and get some stuff for a thanksgiving dinner. Light some candles and when she comes over explain to her how you feel. {if you have feelings like that} However is she cant come than ask her out for an evening date after thanksgiving and take her to a nice resturant and let her know how you feel about her. But if you just want to remain friends than just have a dinner with her and tell her how much you love being her friend and that there is nobody in the world like her.

From a womans point of perspective i wouldnt want my best guy friend to call me up and tells me he loves me like a sister i would rather have him tell me how much he loves our friendship and how much he just loves me in general and if the guy had strong feelings for me i would want him to open up to me and explain just how strong his feelings are. I truly hope this helps you and good luck with her.

Answer 4

I would take it as though you don't think of me as anything more than a sister (ie. wanting to keep the friendship going) and nothing more. But then I'm not her. Only she knows how she's going to react.

I never wanted to hurt my chances later on down the road, but there comes a time in your life when you just have to take a big leap of faith, and if it doesn't work out you know it wasn't meant to and you don't have to torture yourself about it. A couple of years ago I took a huge leap of faith, and now we're married, and starting a family.

If you really like this girl let her know.
She may not be ready for a relationship with you, or may not have feelings like that towards you but at least you'll know, and at least you know you did something about it.

I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for you :)

Answer 5

Don't tell her you love her like a sister, that would kinda kill your chances. Just tell he you love her, but if u guys have been really good friends for 9 years, then she has probably already figured that much. I think you should ask her how she really feels about you, then tell her how you feel about her, then explain to her how she makes you feel and the signals and vibes that you are getting. If she is your true friend, she'll understand where you are coming from and shouldn't make you feel uncomfortable at all. But go for it! GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 6

Saying that you love someone like a sister is saying that eventhough you care for her, you do not really like her like her. Think about it, would you want to go out with your sister, I don't think so. You should probably make your move step by step, just so that while you don't ruin your friendship, you won't chase her off. If she has dated someone before, during those 9 years, maybe you can just see, not follow, somethings that she is interested in a guy. If you think you've got some qualities go for it. But don't follow them because there was probably something that caused them not to be together now. Remember, slow and steady wins the race! (but don't move TOO slow). =)

Answer 7

If I was told I was loved like a sister I would assume there are no chemistry/love/sexual feelings there at all, don't do that. Tell her you appreciate HER and the time you spend together and whatever else about her you like. But don't say you love her "as" an anything. The best lifelong relationships often start out as good strong friendships. Good luck!!

Answer 8

This is a bit confusing... you are in love with him yet you haven't talked to him and vice versa? How do you know that he gets jealous when you talk to other guys? Well since it's been going on about a year, this feels more like a stalker of sorts (with all the staring and what not) but if you are interested I suggest you mail him or something, maybe this might be the best approach since he seems extremely shy... Good luck!

Answer 9

If you're interested in her, and not that sisterly kinda way, don't go telling her you love her as a sister. She will definitely think you're not interested in her in THAT kinda way. Especially if she IS interested in you that way too. Tell her how you feel and then give her time to adjust to that new revelation and to think about it. I think when you act interested, she cools off because she's afraid that she's going to lose your friendship. It is hard to like a friend as more than a friend. You really have to think about the pros and cons of telling her how you really feel about her. Is it worth losing the friendship when you finally do? Or would you rather stay as friends? Coz, like it or not, your relationship will change the moment you tell her that you like her more than a friend. Either you'll get closer which is good, or it will get awkward and ..... If you think it will be worth it, go ahead and good luck.

Answer 10

I would think u liked me as a sister & a sister only so u said u really like her & want something more so DON'T SAY THAT! Just call her up & say your my best friend & I'm very greatful 2 have u in my life That's it nothing else because u don't know if she feels the same way about u

Answer 11

Do NOT tell her you love her like a sister - that will kill any and all future plans. If a my guy best friend told me that - I would assume he would never feel any other way for me.

Do call her and tell her how much you appreciate her friendship, ask her how she feels about heading out on a date. If she is against it, then you can move on and just remain friends with your dignity in tact.