i have a husband and we are happy together but sometimes i feel like we aren't happy enough. he changed after we got married. we have only been married for 4 months but he is a totally diffrent person. we dont talk as much. he is a freak when it comes to video games and doesnt pay me much attention. we have tried talking about the subject but it always ends up in a arguement. anyway we have a friend that recently moved away to nevada and we live in south carolina and he calls just about every day to see what im up to and now i think we are having some feelings that we should not be having i have been having thoughts about him like what it would be like if i was with him?? what should i do?
2006-11-20 15:00:41 · 12 answers · asked by sumtergirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You made a decision to marry this man and you owe it to yourself to give it every chance you can. I think you would feel bad about yourself if you went any further with this other man. Are you trying to get your husband's attention? From experience, the best way to get a man's attention is to be self confident and in control of your emotions. Work on yourself. Never stop doing that work. Marriage is a big step for both of you and is a very stressful time. Playing video games is his way of destressing. He could be doing worse things in his spare time!
2006-11-20 15:18:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Known fact -
Men cheat because they can.
Women cheat to make a decision.
Sounds like you aren't sure about being in your marriage and are using your feelings for another man as reason to check the grass on the other side.
The grass will be the same with the other guy. What Moms, Aunts, Sisters and girlfriends should make known is that that marriages get comfortable. Your husband is getting comfortable with you. It doesnt mean he doesnt care, it is just another step in your relationship. All men end up like this. The best way to snap him out of it. Is act the way you did when you were first together. Flirt with him, but most of all build up his ego. If he brings you a glass of water, make it sound like he pumped it out of the well a mile a way and carried it back barefoot on a gravel road. Men love to be built up.
My advice is dont cheat. Work on your marriage. There is nothing wrong with finding chemistry with others as long as you dont act on it. Have some will power. You married your husband and made vows to be faithful. Dont ruin that on a fling.
Take your sexual thoughts to bed with your husband, Men become a lot sweeter if you put more into the bedroom.
It is a viscious cycle. Men want sex and women want romance. After awhile the man thinks I am not going to be romantic if I am not getting sex. The woman thinks I am not going to give it up or doesnt feel interested in sex because her husband isnt being romantic or giving her attention.
Break the cycle and try being more pationate and building up his ego. Tell him he is wonderful at what ever job he does or that he is sexy. It is worth trying for. If you decide to cheat, be fare to your husband and get fully divorced first. During a divorce your both could regret it and spark what you once had.
Good luck and God Bless.
2006-11-20 15:37:17 · answer #2 · answered by galbee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think the reason you are having feelings for this other man is because he is giving you attention. Women need verbal communication and when we don't get it...we seek it. Your marriage is new, give it time. I know what you mean though...I've been through it to a certain extent. I think a lot of married couples will say that sometimes their spouse doesn't give them as much attention as they'd like. If you really love your husband and he really loves you then you both will be willing to work it out.
You must remember this...There is always something about your spouse that you wish would be slightly different. Nobodys perfect...marriage isn't easy, you gotta work for it. Don't give up...its early in the marriage. I would say...stay friends with the man in nevada...sometimes ya just need someone to talk to...but keep it on a friendship level...if the both of you start to wander into more than friends then its time to talk to your husband about it at a deeper level. Good Luck and don't give up on him yet...marriage isnt always easy. Keep your head up.
2006-11-20 15:32:47 · answer #3 · answered by PEIFF 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep your friend on a friend basest or let him go. You have a husband that you need to put all that extra energy into your relationship with. Does your husband even know about him calling you all the time? If not that is a form of cheating. You say that you have only been married 4 months, give it a chance. You already have cheating on your mind. How would you feel if your husband was thinking about doing that to you?
2006-11-20 15:19:54 · answer #4 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your husband needs a serious wake-up call. If he doesn't start paying more attention to you, he will lose you. Tell him that, soon.
Schedule some time alone with him to discuss this issue. Lay out, in writing, exactly what you need from him. Tell him that you love him, and ask him what he needs from you.
As for the other guy, tell him to stop calling you. He's moved on with his life, and you want to do the same with your husband. Your feelings for him are just a fad, and they will fade away. The more you concentrate on your marriage, the more he will fade from your heart.
2006-11-20 15:41:36 · answer #5 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first it is natural to have feelings for this other guy he is feeding into what you need from your husband.. i didnt say act on thoes feelings... now what you need to do is sit your husband down and say look this is how i feel and this is what i want out of our marriage are you willing to give some or not? and dont let him tell you that your wrong because your feelings are just that feelings and they are true to you... as long as this issue is between you and your h then you are going to keep having feelings for this guy who is showing you attention or anyother man that does for that matter
2006-11-20 15:35:12 · answer #6 · answered by crazyme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe u should see if he is feeling th same way. and if u want to try and get closer to ur husband, play games with him then try and have him do something u like with u. but if u come to hime like that it might be easier for him to do things with u
2006-11-20 15:19:16 · answer #7 · answered by luvly_lady3426 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
please give some time to your husband. four months, not enough for a man to make any changes.try to talk to him but do not argue. cook some special dishes for dinner,do some changes at your outlook.make your self busy.love your husband.
2006-11-20 15:17:24 · answer #8 · answered by catwomen 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you've been married 4 months...
show this to your husband,
have a long talk...
have a short talk...
but...start packing anyway...
sorry...
2006-11-20 15:30:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about him and get on your life with your husband.
2006-11-20 15:19:04 · answer #10 · answered by Larisa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋