my parents dont like my boyfriend but that cant keep him from seeing his child. they are mad that he doesnt pay hospital bills and i agree but him bonding with his child is more important to me than any amount of money. they were fine with everything until they found out that he asked me to marry him and we bought each other promise rings. now he isnt aloud to see our child. what can i do?
2006-11-20 14:27:48 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
i'm 16 and my bf is 18, but was 17 when i got preg. i live in iowa and there are no emancipation laws except marriage with consent of both parents (which isnt going to happen and i dont want to be married yet)
2006-11-20 14:29:28 · update #1
my boyfriend is a recovering drug addict and relapsed at the begining of my pregnancy, and they could have said something then, but didnt and he went to rehab, because he knew it was me and the baby or the drugs and obviously we ment more to him.
2006-11-20 14:39:41 · update #2
you need to just say "Look, this is HIS son, we are engaged and we intend to raise the child together"
stand up and say it how it is
the child is not ur parents's, so they DO NOT have authority to tell him he cannot see HIS OWN CHILD
2006-11-20 14:31:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
If your parents brought this up in court there's a chance you would lose custody of the child, possibly to your parents. A judge would see him as a bad influence. He would need to have a record of stability before he could have to much to do with your child.
Also remember... Don't have another if he had sex with you now and someone ended up finding out he would get charged and get a good while in prison. Promise rings mean nothing especially if your boyfriend can't even pay for the mother of his childs hostpital bills.
In order for you to get married your parents would have to sign for you and i'm not sure if you can because he is 18 and you're 16 so you don't have very good chances anyways. What do you plan on doing with your life? I'm not much older than you and I can already tell that you're ready to screw up your life if you make a dumb choice like that. Your boyfriend is on drugs, got you pregnant when you were 16, probably had sex with you when you were 15 and won't even pay for a hospital bill.
What in the hell are you thinking. Now I realize i've took 5 minutes to write this for nothing. I went out with a girl that had the same exact thing happen to you right after she dumped me. She ended up getting married and is now addicted to Meth. She's lost custody of her kid and her husband beats her. And he looked like a pretty good guy.
Clean up before you mess up everything. There is a point were you can't turn around. You haven't seen it so don't tell someone that has seen it they're wrong. Good luck ****ing up your life.
2006-11-20 14:57:36 · answer #2 · answered by mattmaul92 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're old enough to play mommy your old enough to play house too. Your moronic actions along with his have now made a complete mess of your life. The worst part is you have brought a child to this world that will have next to no hope of a real life. What in the hell were you thinking? Be thankful your parents are letting you even stay in THEIR HOME and eat THEIR FOOD while you sit on YOUR BUTT doing NOTHING. Pathetic little child you have no idea what your world has become. You do realize he is a 17 year old little boy who is NOT going to stay with you. He may say he will, but with the way things are you will never make it. They have every right in the world to tell you what to do, you are still a MINOR, not an ADULT. If you feel that statement is incorrect move out and fend for yourself. Please we are all going to be paying into your welfare check as it is, why delay the process.
After I posted I saw all these other comments, kids giving kids advice. Remember one little thing, the law may state that he must be allowed to see his child, that is up to the court. Just know that at the same time they don't have to let you live in their home anymore. How far do you really want to take this? You humiliate your parents in court, they'll humilate you in life. Are you prepared to raise that child with the deadbeat from now until he runs away? You stand to lose your real family and endanger your child for what, you are a 16 year old with out a clue, without any idea what your are in for. You've ruined your own life and have probably sealed your child's fate as well.
2006-11-20 14:49:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am not sure what state you are in but has anyone brought up statutory rape? You are under age, you are a minor.
His rights to see his child won't fly in court with him being a drug addict.
The father needs to grow up get a job after finishing school. Find a way to help him be a father and not just a drug addict sperm donor. Sorry to be so harsh but this situation calls for it.
Bobbie, when you have a young man with troubles like he has "All children need both their parents in their life" doesn't apply here.
2006-11-20 16:30:07 · answer #4 · answered by brad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should check the laws for not only your state, but also the county you live in. Sometimes the laws very from county to county even within the same state. In my county, for example, you are able to get married without parental consent if you are pregnant or have given birth. Just contact the courthouse/the place where you would file the marriage papers. They might even have a website.
Good Luck!
Also, I wanted to let you know that most lawyers will do free consultations....I would call around and talk to them. They are the most knowledgeable about your options, as they can tell you if you can get married, or just move out.
2006-11-20 14:40:11 · answer #5 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because you’re not married Boyfriend has no legal rights to visitation until a court gives them to him. He can petition the court for visitation. Be aware that if he has a drug problem, it will (or at least ‘should’) be supervised visitation. Once Boyfriend has court-ordered visitation then your parents cannot deny him the right to visit his child. However, that does NOT mean that they have to allow him to see YOU. You are still a minor (becoming a parent didn’t change that) and therefore your parents get to decide who you’re allowed to spend time with. Don’t even try the argument of ‘he has to see me in order to see the child’ because it doesn’t work.
2006-11-20 17:50:25 · answer #6 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is to be held financially responsible, as are you. You are blessed to have parents who allow you to still live with them. You need them. You are still a child & are no where near maturity to even decide if marriage is meant for you two. I hope that you are wise enough to know that you shouldn't be having sex anymore until you are wed & that sex should only be with your husband. He is too young to even understand the concept of marriage, as are you. I agree that it should be that both parents raise the child, but you are still very much a child. Your parents have a right to set house rules because they are the parents. Do yourself a big favour, & quit having sex until you have a husband to share it with. Purity is precious.
2006-11-20 14:44:06 · answer #7 · answered by Rae 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's never easy comming to a compromise especially with your parents ,believe me but i have learned that it's much easier if you just sit down and talk things out. Make a list of all the points you want to make so that you can discuss certain topics with them, and get your point across efficiently this will make it alot easier for you not to flip out if you have a plan, and maybe you should talk to your boyfriend about getting a job to help more with the baby. Explain to your parents that he is really trying this will make them see that he is more responceable and they will be more apt to listen to you.
2006-11-23 11:55:56 · answer #8 · answered by alyx h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have tried talking with your parents about this like a mature adult (which you aren't, but, that's another story), and still aren't getting anywhere with them, I would suggest that your bf go to court and petition for visitation. Even if you are 100% sure that he is the baby's father, it might be a good idea for your bf to request a DNA test to confirm paternity. Once the court is sure that he is the baby's father, they will likely grant him legal visitation rights - and that is something that NOBODY can interfere with (unless your parents want to spend a lot of time and money fighting it).
I hope you have some kind of support system in place there, sweetie. You sure do need one.
2006-11-20 14:36:39 · answer #9 · answered by happy heathen 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't worry about the statutory rape angel. He was a minor too at the time of conception.
As for your boyfriend, he needs to make an honest effort to stay clear of drugs and to attempt to pay the bills. Even if it is only $150 a month, it shows he is trying.
2006-11-20 16:41:33 · answer #10 · answered by Kevin k 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seems like you've got a big problem. Well, there must be a reason why they don't want him to see their grandchild. Is he working and supporting you and your child? Maybe they are right and you are wrong. If my daughter got pregnant at 15 I would not trust her around this boy either, never mind the child. Sorry, maybe when your child grows up you will understand where I am coming from....KECK
2006-11-20 14:39:25 · answer #11 · answered by Tneciter 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋