My Husband does not want to have a baby what should i do?

Question

me and my husband are somewhat happy, well he is happy but i feel like something is missing because i want a baby. he says he doesnt want one right now, but i think he is scared to have a baby and i dont know what to do please help!

Answer 1

Just don't be a nag about it. Your biological clock is ticking, and it's understandable that you'd want a baby. He's a man, so of course he's a bit scared. The worst things you can do are nag him, and try to force him into it, or intentionally get pregnant without his consent. If you're only somewhat happy to begin with, a baby is NOT going to make things better, it will only cause more discord. These are things you should have agreed on before you said "I do."

Answer 2

Did you know this before you married him? How important is it that you have a baby? And, how old are you?

If you knew he didn't want a child, don't think you can change him because you're married now. It doesnt work that way. One day, he may want to have a child.

Not everyone in today's society has children. Many couples that can - chose not to. Its not that they would make bad parents but they have found that they cannot do things childless people do - like travel, stay out late, no have homework to check.

Rather than feeling like something is missing, find something that the two of you enjoy together that you can't do when you have children. Then, when the time comes and it right for both of you - it will be great.

Answer 3

Phil S has the right idea. Further, don't trick him into fatherhood, you marriage will be over, and if he doesn't slap you silly and into the next planet, I'd be surprised. Having a child is a wish that you both must have, or frankly, hon, it's just not fair to the child. If you and he have sat down and talked about a family, and he absolulely, positively does not want to be a parent, and you absolutely, positively do, then, your marriage is a deal breaker. You cannot make someone want to be a parent. And, you regretfully will have to move on and find a guy who does wish to be a parent. He has absolutely a right not to want to be up at midnight, with a screaming kid, put up with 2 year old tantrums, go thru jr. hs, puberty, drugs with minors, college, all that stuff, and spend $250,000 to raise a child to age 20. There is nothing the matter with him, he knows himself well. Either you accept that, or you ask for a divorce if it is important to you to have a kid. It's that easy. The only other thing about marriage that is that easy is betrayal..... If your spouse cheats on you, your marriage is gone, no matter what you think, it can never be the same. So, you are looking at one of the only two dealbreakers in marriage...opposite views on children, and betrayal.....

Answer 4

Well if he doesn't want a baby there is nothing you can really do. It takes two to make a baby, and if he doesn't want one right now then you must respect his wishes. He just said he doesn't want one right now. Calm down. The time will come.

Babies should be brought into a marriage that is fully happy, not somewhat. A baby will only add to the stress of a marriage, and if you two are not of one mind concerning a child then I am fearful of what that says about you your perceptions.

Answer 5

do not do it not if he doesnt want it... you will be the one taking care of it and years from now you will find out he still resents i got preg by mistake not long after we got married we never really talked about having kids he was never happy about it and he never took care of her and then i had another baby a boy and he did do better with that one but not great well my kids are 17 and 13 now and just the other day when we were having trouble with them he told me i never wanted kids in the first place... so dont do it if this is something you feel you cant live without and he will never want them get a new husband because you and your kids will pay the price if you force him into it

Answer 6

You're not providing enough info. How long have you been married? Did your husband say he wanted children before you married and now he's changed his mind? Or, does he just mean he's not prepared for fatherhood right now? You can't make someone want to be a parent and this discussion should have occurred before you guys said I do! But, maybe with some counseling from a pastor, doctor or trusted family member you both can weigh the pros and cons and come to some mutual decision.

Answer 7

Well I don't know how long you have been married or how old you are but I will tell you that having my daughter has been the light of my life. My husband and I got divorced when she was 3 and I don't know what I would do without her. No man is worth not having a child for. I am still best friends with my mother and I'm 40! It's nice to have that to look forward to with my daughter. The bond between mother and child is like no other don't deprive yourself of that.

Answer 8

I hope this is a question that you posed to this man prior to marriage? Was he in agreement with you that yes, he did want children someday? If he was, then give him a little more time. He is probably just nervous about being a dad. Also, if you two are not getting along at the moment, it might be a good idea to wait. Fighting/Unhappiness/Divorce and children do not mesh well and kids really should not be put through that if it can be helped. A child will not save your marriage.

Answer 9

In order to keep the stability in your home, I am advising you not to pull no surprises on your husband by getting pregnant right now.

A baby is someone who needs to be wanted and loved by both parents.

I believe that a child can sense when he or she is wanted from within the womb. A child can also tell when it is not wanted. It is very unfair to subject this baby to all this.

Your husband might have reasons, maybe conditions in your home are not favorable right now.

I suggest that you pray unceasingly that God will soon change your husband's mind and you will have the family you desire.

Answer 10

You haven't mentioned your ages, how long you've been married, whether you or he ( or both ) are currently students, or what your financial situation is. If you both agreed upon having children before you married but didn't set forth a time frame, then this needs to be discussed without argument and a compromise needs to be reached. If either of you is changing your pre-marital position on this issue then you have a VERY serious problem that may require professional intervention.