What do you think of my poem? plz point out area’s to work on? I just barely wrote it and I really want to get it –if not perfect—at least really good!!! so plz read it, yes I kno it’s a little long, but it only takes about 40 seconds to read… hasnt anyone ever told you to stop and smell the roses =)
So Called Friends
Do you not know
I am independent
I choose what I want to do
And when I want to do it
I can see what you are trying to do
You are trying to
Manipulate me
Control me
Well it wont work
I have matured and
I have realized
That Although we were good friends
Things are changing
Maybe for the best
Maybe for the worst
Maybe we’ll never know
You ignored me today
Acted like I was invisible
And that did hurt
Maybe last year I would’ve
Dumped him
Trashed him
But I know that
I am different than you
And I realize
That although you MAY have my
Best interests at heart
You cannot make my decisions for me
You cannot control me
I do love you
2006-11-20 13:58:22 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You are like sisters to me
An I would NEVER replace you
I never could replace you
I just wish
You would realize
That I like Him
I really, truly do
And just one question
This is to you Blondie
When you heard those girls call me an $lut
Did you stand up for me
Did you tell them to shut up
2006-11-20 13:58:42 · update #1
I think this sends a very powerful message to your friends. I think it also tells people about the person you are and are becoming!!
I would change the an to a before $lut
2006-11-20 14:04:00 · answer #1 · answered by AzMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is not bad, not bad at all but I wouldn't exactly call it a poem to me it could be a song because I like it, it is very direct to the point and it does keep your interest in reading it...You did a good job but next time when you write make sure you select a better title because if didn't tell much about the so called friend until the very last...But I would give you a B+ on it if I had to grade it for the effort you put in it.
Thanks for the reading.
2006-11-20 14:11:11 · answer #2 · answered by beagirl40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a very truthful poem. It could become a song if you publish it and if you have a good voice, you could sing it, also. Since everyone is writing you gunk kiss butt answers for the 10 points, I want you to know I am not kiss-butting. Promise!
2006-11-20 14:07:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
towards the midlle it gets a little confusing. I can't ell who you're talking to. Try to make it clearer who the person this is adressed to is, because i feel like you're talking about an event to a person in that event, but im getting confused. Im sorry if i didn't help. It's ok overall. I find i write better poems when its not about something only like one person knows about.
2006-11-20 14:03:05 · answer #4 · answered by DBCrower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of human beings might purely grow to be avater/pastime junkies and nonetheless prefer to get extra factors to attain extra stuff. the inducement will stay the comparable, purely what you get might substitute. Then solutions may be much extra of a pastime and a communicate fest. human beings may be whining approximately gathering sufficient factors for this or that digital toy, and clog each and every catagory asking how do i'm getting the cool avatars with the badges below.
2016-10-17 07:36:49 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this could make a great song .. The last part you just added though sounded more like a letter .. Very nice
2006-11-20 14:01:12 · answer #6 · answered by mixedchick 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Nice Poems I like It!
2006-11-20 14:03:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very good great job. i love this poem and if you want tons of solid veiws go to
www.sharepoetry.com
it works and you get tons of good reveiws. if you join message me through the site my user name is Colin Night
2006-11-20 14:02:40 · answer #8 · answered by Colin Night 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is sersiously amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that is like exactly how i feel and i think that you have an amazing talent at this. and although it may sound cheesy
i think your poem just described how i feel today!!!
keep it up!
you are really good!
and dont let anyone tell you different!
2006-11-20 14:02:40 · answer #9 · answered by kutpi007 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have some creativity but you're wasting it on being concerned what other people think instead of writing about your passions and desires. Write about something that makes you happy. Write about something that expresses your love and desire about anything....Write about a feeling you had when you saw something beautiful........Write about something that is positive and comes from the heart.........................
2006-11-20 14:02:48 · answer #10 · answered by danny_austin4 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋