He moved in with her immeditaely. He doesn't call about the kids. Why is this? He doesn't even call his parents to ask about the kids. Is he having second thoughts about leaving us? Does he need a break? Or is he falling in love with her? It has only been 12 days. I am dying to know why he wouldn't be calling. he says he still loves me, and I will always be his best friend...NO RUDE answers please, I know I shouldn't want him, but we have kids, I only want answers as to WHY,
2006-11-20 13:51:16 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
cuold he be falling in love with her? I am soooo afraid of that.
2006-11-20 13:54:07 · update #1
Let the slug go. Why do you want a man who has no character, who would leave his children behind for a new squeeze?
File for full custody of the kids and file for child support. Get tough.
2006-11-20 14:02:16 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not a rude answer but why would you want someone back who has betrayed you???? You're hurt, because you misjudged, but why would you want him back???? Relationships are: Admiration, Respect, Passion and Trust. He has betrayed your Trust, he has shared his body and soul with another woman.(eeewwww) Even if you two got into counseling, your admiration and respect for him won't return, even within two years. So, hon, you don't love him. You love what you THOUGHT he was: You love the IMAGE . The real guy is something else. Kids or no kids, this guy has dealt you the ultimate deal-breaker -- betrayal, and that, sweetie, is the truth. When you decide you're not a doormat, you'll find it difficult not to vomit in the guy's face -- that is, if you get your self-esteem back..... And to accomplish that, you probably need a few sessions of counseling......Now for your question:
Why did he move in with some other babe? Hon, guys are driven by testosterone. Evolutionarily, the more promiscuous a guy was, the more children he had. And we, 2200 generations later are the result of that. The really amazing part is why so many guys do indeed stay faithful at all!!!!
Evolutionarily, guys sorta stuck around until the youngest kid was about 4. At that age, a kid could pretty much forage for itself. We are that now, just 2200 generations later... we're still the same critter. It all makes perfect sense if you consider our ancestors.....
Can you get him back -- can you get all of what you had back? No....you cannot unscramble an egg..... Betrayal just leaves the worst taste in one's mouth....especially when you start to think about it... Will he stick around in you life? Sure, if you let him...He'll go to bed with you, he'll go back to her, he'll find others.....The world is full of women who are door mats.... And, you two have some kids together, so later, he'll want to see them. But he'll dump this lady too -- about 4 years after they have a child, and go on to someone else...... the old saying really IS true --- once a cheater, always one.
I'm sorry, sweetie, life is just sorta like that. We never think this stuff will ever happen to us, but we can't control another person.... guys get dumped on too, by promiscous women, and they as well wonder what they did wrong... they did nothing wrong....Nothing. Just read some of the questions on this site....
2006-11-20 14:17:42 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have kinda answered your own question he has fallen for this young women she has no kids and maybe he is just tired of the whole daddy thing. Needless to say I do not know how old either of you are but it appears he has found a new lady and it's over if he has told you he just want's to be a friend then it's over in his eyes and you need to stay strong and get ready for divorce papers.
2006-11-22 07:24:42 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He left for a 19 year old.....hes not calling....what other ways does he need to show you that hes not ready to be married...
I feel for yah......you probably feel like your world just fell apart, however look at this as a blessing in disguise..you don't see that yet...your feelings are too raw. The guy you are suppose to marry, isn't the right man......something you don't want to face....but eventually you are going to have to admit to yourself..
Take care of your kids...because they come first in all of this....and do your best to get the help you need to get through this....
Good Luck to you and your kids.......
2006-11-20 14:03:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is the only one who can give you your answer as to why. You having kids with him is no reason to keep your kids in a unhealthy relationship with their mother and father. Parents need to look at what they put their children through when they grow up because kids now days are growing up in unhealthy homes and it is affecting them in every aspect of their lives. I think what you need to be focusing on is how you are going to get yourself over this man and provide your children with a healthy lifestyle. You dont want them to grow up thinking that it is ok for them to just leave their homes and family to go and spend sometime with some young girl/guy whenever they feel they want to and if they grow up seeing daddy do it to them they are going to think it is ok to do it to their families.
You need to go to your local child support office and file for support for your children, I mean Hey he made them too and if he is not even going to worry how they are and pick up the phone and call them then the least he can be doing is paying support to ensure they are getting fed.
2006-11-20 13:58:34 · answer #5 · answered by cmsmith114 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if he comes back to you...don't start a relationship with him..what if you get married and he does this again 5 years down the road, then you'll have to go through a divorce and things could get really ugly
2006-11-20 14:01:24 · answer #6 · answered by mandypants2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey ive been there and he is for getting his obligation to you and your kids and he is feeling and thinking he has found better and for me he came back only to find out he came back because she didnt want him any more and when he does come back he is going to make it look like it was your fault you griped to much or you wouldnt let me have my freedom he will be determined to find away to pin his wrongs on you and make you feel bad and guilty about what he says you did or didnt do so his wrongs wont look so bad and i am telling you this from my own experiance take the child support and make him keep insurance on the kids and you will feel better in the long run i let my ex bring me down and made me have poor self esteem just now realizing i did nothing wrong i was here for my kids i was here for him now lol she is gone and thanks to child support me and the kids are fine its kind of hard being a single mom but at least i can sleep at night not having to worry about who he is sleeping with or who he is with and why isnt he home yet . and i wouldnt want my kids to think its ok for someone to cheat and do them wrong and make them cry. and i havent cried over him or anything he has done in along time now and that gives me a good piece of mind. and here is a question if he was to come back could you honestly trust him? could you honestly lay in bed with him knowing what he was willing to throw away for some one he didnt even know and if he does it and you allow him to come back he might do it again and lol expect to come back again. why guys do these things im not sure i think mine was my weight going from 130 to 175 after 3 kids was just to much for him. and the chic he left me for was wild, no kids , drank and did drugs i guess she made him feel young and she was fun. the sad thing about my case was she told him she didnt want him around me so he didnt see me or the kids for 3 months and then after we got back together the following valentines day he was with her only as friends they say and then again 2 days before my birthday the same year. what ever he found in her i guess he never found in me but what could i do just let him go and make him stay gone or let him come back and keep hurting me and bringing me down. you and your kids are losing one person he is losing alot more
2006-11-20 14:11:06 · answer #7 · answered by cute redhead 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why? Let's see he saw something that might be better for him or so he thinks that in his mind and after a while he'll realize what a huge mistake he made by leaving you and the children.
2006-11-20 13:53:26 · answer #8 · answered by cutiepie81289 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave him ur kids are important and you dont want to hurt them but you worrying and hurting is worse on them its hard but you have to get through it i know trust me im 11 years old and my mom had the same problems and shes married now and im extreamly happy now and my friends say i give good advice so if you need any advice e-mail me at briana_overton@yahoo.com
2006-11-20 14:05:48 · answer #9 · answered by bree 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it will hurt to lose him.My Husband did it to me,I wish he had did it b4 we got married.He's telling you something and you NEED to listen.You also need to love yourself.Do you REALLY want someone who would put you through this?You are worth more than that and so are your kids.
2006-11-20 14:01:39 · answer #10 · answered by hippiegirl672003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋