My fiance and i met and i wasn't over my x boyfriend. We hooked up 2 weeks after the break up. My fiance (my best friend at the time who I told my problems to) said he can help me forget about him so we started dating. Well my fiance and I have been dating for 4 years and he proposed to me on the 3rd year. He didn't want to talk about wedding arrangements or anything. After, asking a few times we set a date. Well over the 4 years my X has been trying to contact me but i didn't answer the phone b/c I thought it would be disrespectful to my fiance. Well my X happens to be a friend of the family so I saw him at family dinner and he confessed his dying love for me. (Obviously, I still have feelings for him) and he asked me not to marry my fiance. He also asked me that if he asked me to marry Him what would I say. Now I'm confused and my fiance knows all of this and all of a sudden he wants to move the date sooner. What should I do. My f bought us a house w/o my name. Do I leave or stay?
2006-11-20 13:43:09 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You should never give your heart (and body) in marriage to someone when it still belongs to someone else. It is better to break your fiance's heart now, than to give him half of your heart. That would not be fair to him. Commit to your fiance only when all of your heart can be given to him. Believe it or not, guys (though they don't show it much) are actually more emotional than girls and they take love and romance - and heartbreak - even more intensely than girls. Macho tuff guys are that way because they are hurting, not because they are really tuff. It might not be your fault that your relationship with your X ended, but it would certainly be your fault if you gave yourself to your fiance while your heart is still with your X. Weigh both your X and your fiance, and make an unemotional decision about whom you would rather spend your life with. Will returning to your X be a relationship of misery? Will your fiance make a better husband? Don't let love blind you. You have to make the decision with a clear head - and a clear conscience. Your choice might hurt, but a right choice will bring happiness is the long run. Good luck to you. Oh, and, maybe ask God for some advice, too.
2006-11-20 13:58:34 · answer #1 · answered by hmghosthost 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now is not the time to make quick rash decisions. Marriage is for a lifetime and should have nothing to do with competition between these guys. Take some time and think. If they have waited this long they could wait a little longer, but if you know that you are not over your X don't string your fiance along, be fair to him and walk away.
2006-11-20 13:49:41 · answer #2 · answered by ladyc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have doubts about the marriage, you shouldn't get married, you have to leave both of them, and have some time alone to figure out what you want in life, whether or not you want to commit, because if you get married to your fiance, this marriage won't last, you'll still wonder whether or not you should be with your ex, and you'll end up cheating on your fiance who's going to be your husband if you decided to marry him. So, I suggest you leave them both, and give yourself some time.
2006-11-20 13:47:32 · answer #3 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need time alone, to clearly think this through and be honest with yourself, and those involved in the situation. Seek counselling, to help you if need be. A wedding is a commitment of love, not doubt. It's based on truth, trust, etc...I'm sure you know...It's better you are sure, rather than having to deal with one ending in a messy divorce, that is far worse! Postponing your wedding may be a disappointment to some, but they can handle it, the important thing is you need time alone to resolve what's going on with you. Don't rush, or feel pressured, just take the time you need. Every one has the right to be happy, and that includes you. Hope that helps, good luck!
2006-11-20 13:58:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well think about your options here you have a man in your life that was there for you when your ex wasnt and it took your ex almost 4 years to come looking saying he misses you come on people change are you still the same person you was 4 years ago. i cant tell you what to do but the man you have now you have a possitive future with the x how ever who is to say he wont leave and for get about you once you have broken off your engadgement. i think your ex only likes the thaught of a challenge and wants what he thinks he cant have cause where was he when he could of had you not interested right?
2006-11-20 13:52:07 · answer #5 · answered by cute redhead 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh boy,
well one thing is for sure, you are not ready to get married,
i just can imagine the mixed feelings that you must have.
as long as you didn't say i do. then that means you don't
tell your parents how you feel.
tell your bf, that you need more time to think.
also don't feel as though you have to get married, and don't let anybody tell you that you have to get married.
just remember the choice you make is a life time thing so be very careful.
i also think that your bf wants to get married sooner becuz he is scared of losing you to the other man
2006-11-20 14:05:51 · answer #6 · answered by tabatha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a life long commitment. Be sure that you are ready for that commitment. If you are having second thoughts about someone else, then don't get married. You might regret it if you do.
2006-11-20 13:48:22 · answer #7 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u still love yer ex... go do him and see what yer fiance says... sounds like he is not thinking of yer needzz only his... bang yer ex multiple times
2006-11-20 13:59:52 · answer #8 · answered by NONAME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋