ok-so I was w/my boyfriend for 2 years,we lived 2gether & were engaged--taking no precautions to insure that I didn't get pregnant b/c "if it happened, it happened"..we wanted a baby. I was raped on 3-25-06 by a close friend of the family's, and found out that I was pregnant on 4-12. I don't believe in abortion& asked my b/f what he thought, & he decided that since we had had sex around that time too, it could be his, so he wanted to keep the baby. Then he broke up with me, saying that if the child wasn't his, he would never be able to look at it the way a father is supposed to look at his child (& the same for the way he looks @ me)-even tho it was neither mine or the baby's fault. My dr says that I am measuring 39 wks, and thinks that the LATEST I would have my baby is 12-5-06. I am unsure of the 1st day of my last period, but I know it was in the 1st wk of March. My question is...who has the better chance of being the father? And if it's my ex, should I give him another chance?
2006-11-20 13:17:05 · 11 answers · asked by as12jk34 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
well first off...I admire you for not having an abortion. Babies may be accidents but they are never mistakes, and I applaud you for realizing that. Secondly, you said that you and your boyfriend were not using precaution, and I know that it is far-fetched but do you remember if your rapist used a condom? Also, if your period was in the first week of March, you would have been ovulating anywhere between March 14th and the 21st (if you have a regular 28 day cycle), so you would not have been able to get pregnant on the 25th. I would appreciate other answerers' inputs but I am almost certain of this?? Good luck sweetie.
And as for your guy, leave him....he sounds like a dirtbag.
2006-11-20 13:33:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you find out that you were pregnant? With a home preg. or by a blood test? Either way you probably wouldnt have shown positive if you were only a few weeks pregnant. I highly doubt that the pregnancy resulted from your rape. For you to get a positive result on 4-12 you would have most likely already had to have been pregnant with your b/f's baby. The only way to know for sure of course would be a DNA test once the baby is born. Have you gotten counseling? An attack of that kind is hard enough to deal with and then be pregnant and lose the support of your long term b/f must be overwhelming. You really should be talking to someone. I was once in a similar situation. No b/f involved so there was no question about paternity. I tried to keep the baby, tried to love him but didn't ever feel like I loved him enough...I ended up placing him for adoption with a wonderful couple. I wish you the best of luck. As far as your b/f ...mens reactions to rape can be hard. They can feel worthless because they were not able to protect you. But to leave you without knowing for sure...that might be hard to forgive. Your doctor should also be able to tell you an estimated date of conception...of course it will be a guess within a few weeks. Good Luck...Take care of yourself and that baby above all else!
2006-11-20 21:33:34 · answer #2 · answered by MrsA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it's better for the baby he's not around if that is the way he feels. He has no right to look down upon you or that child because it was not your fault nor the fault of the baby. You should say good riddence to him as obviously he would not make a good father anyways. You are obviously a very strong woman to be raped and possibly pregnant from being raped and still decide to have the baby.
Unfortunetly, I can't tell you who is more likely the father of the child because I don't know dates you and your former partner had sex or the date of your ovulation. I can with you all the luck in the world and tell you to hold your head high. His ugly side has shown and if he wouldn't have gone away, once the baby is born chances are it would only get worse.
Good Luck!
2006-11-20 21:32:05 · answer #3 · answered by kista_1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as shawna said, if you have a regular 28 day cycle, you would have been ovulating anywhere between March 14th and the 21st, you would not have been able to get pregnant on the 25th (22nd would have been the last day to fall pregnant).
if your cycle is longer or shorter than 28 days, then you would have ovulated that many days later or earlier.
ur best chance is to get a dna test done, or even before that, if u know ur ex-bf's blood type check if the baby could possibly be his. if he is willing to come back, perhaps you should all go for counselling first. im not sure from your post whether either of you had any form of counselling
as for taking him back, my gut reaction is to say no.
2006-11-21 05:17:19 · answer #4 · answered by marmalade 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are pretty equal for either paternity.
You could have paternity testing done after the birth to know for sure. I highly recommend you get that done.
I hope you pressed charges against the man who raped you. Sorry you had to experience that.
As for your ex...... that's a tough question because on one hand, if he loves you I'd think that he would be there for you regardless. It is not like you conceived because of cheating on him. But on the other hand, I can understand his confusion also.
If the baby turns out to be his, you should not exclude him from the baby's life, Even if you two are not a couple anymore.
2006-11-20 22:21:53 · answer #5 · answered by Yinzer from Sixburgh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to tell who"s child it is is to have a paternity test done once the child is born. But seriously F yor Fiance for leaving you- he should be supportive and stay with you- being raped is a whole different story than you running off and cheating on him. He's an *** and selfish for leaving you because he couldnt handle the child knowing it was someone else's..... Don't give him a second chance- EVEN IF IT IS HIS KID. he's a loser.
2006-11-20 21:23:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe the man who said he planned to marry you is turning his back on you like that. Marriage is supposed to be for better or for worse.. but I guess the problem here is that you're not married. This is soooo why I don't believe in premartial relations. But anyway, I think you should forget about him - what kind of husband is he going to be if he can't even stand by and support his woman who has been raped and is now pregnang. Does he not even think about how YOUR feeling? Sorry hun, I jus tdon't think this is true love.
As far as who has the better chance, that's hard to say, we don't know exactly which dates of your cycle you had sex with them. Sorry. Good luck, I wish you the best.
2006-11-20 21:21:10 · answer #7 · answered by Cookie On My Mind 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once the baby is born do a DNA test to see if your boyfriend is the father. Whether or not you give him another chance, if the baby is his he should be helping to support the child.
2006-11-20 21:49:13 · answer #8 · answered by playing_shy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to tell, it could have been either. The best thing to do is have a DNA test done on the baby to find out for certain who the father is. Personally I think your bf was very selfish to do what he did, leaving you in the lurch when you needed his support more than ever.
2006-11-20 21:32:49 · answer #9 · answered by Blue Jean 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know its hard to go through this but like you said its not your faught and not the babies . but if your boyfreind knew that you got raped . then he should have been there for you no matter what .
even if the baby didnt belong to him and if he loved you as much as he said then thats his stupidy . not yours and you need to let him know that ts his lost and not yours. also keep in mind if your not sure that you can take care of the baby there are places that will help find a good home
if you ever need to talk i'm always open i once was in your sitution
2006-11-20 21:27:06 · answer #10 · answered by littleman0824 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋